I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending
physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who aren’t in a permanent coma.
I don’t care how many fundamentalist votes they’re trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008, under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. It is my wish that they play politics with someone
else’s life and leave me alone to die in peace.
I couldn’t care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don’t know these people, and I certainly haven’t authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They
should mind their own damn business.
If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his
or her existence a living hell.
Signed______________________________
Notarized______________________________________
I need to ask my attorney, but I think the ‘cold beer’ standard is fairly solid.
What is a reasonable amount of time though?
Could we really use this? I’ve been meaning to try to find a free living will on the Web, but haven’t.
There’s no sense in paying an attorney $200 or whatever to make one up.
Maybe stationery stores have the forms?
It’s not too different from a real one, just a lot of extra commentary.
Go to “www.legaldocs.com” and go from there. You can download a living will, for free. I urge everyone to do this… you never know.
Ssusan…go to http://www.agingwithdignity.org. They have a packet for $5.00 called five wishes. It is wonderful and I have been filling mine out this week. It has everything from dnr, medical wishes, funeral wishes, who you want with you when you are going, music you may want played in your room, hospice care/home/hospital care. It’s all in writing and I highly recommend it to all. Beats paying a lawyer $200.00!
I’ll drink to that.
it’s beer-thirty already? Why didn’t anyone tell me? here I am playing the sucker at work and the rest of you are out boozing…
I would add:
“To those relatives already actively making my life a living hell, well, you’ll get what’s coming to you.”
http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/metropolitan/3160939
just as reminder of bush’s hypocrisy..this is article from Houston about another child that a hospital deems unfit to live and are going to terminate. The parents are hoping to find another hospital to take the baby. A man who was in a ‘vegatative state’ was also terminated this spring …termination is just busting out all over this spring in Texas it seems.
All due to the bill bush signed in 1999 giving hospitals the right over parents or family to terminate a patient…ah yes that sanctity of life thing is only good for grandstanding isn’t it.
in getting a copy of your living will:
—
Speaking to hospital administrators, Leavitt said he was recently approached by a congressman who raised the idea of incorporating living wills into Medicare consultations.
“It may be that we could build into Medicare a means by which there was a consultation as part of the Medicare physical where that decision could be discussed and potentially made and … it would not just save families anguish but would likely save the system a remarkable amount of money, allowing that money to be spent in other ways and in other places,” Leavitt said.
Leavitt, responding to a question from the audience, did not specify how living wills would save the government money. But presumably, if such a proposal is put in place, the government would not spend money keeping alive terminal patients who had filled out living wills rejecting life-prolonging medical care.
Maybe you could get a cut…
Uh… BooMan… did YOU pass ninth-grade biology? If so… how? Certainly not with the help of Dr. B……
I did pass it. It was a mercy grade. Remember his assistant? So hooooooooot!!
I thought maybe it was when we snagged his gradebook.
Hey, listen, lab-partner, let me ask you how YOU passed that biology class?
Well, I’m not sure I did! I really don’t remember…
Remember the substitute teacher who was a World War One veteran and had no nose?
Maybe he passed us?