I had a rough evening last night and have been in a bit of a state of shock actually, but as the thoughts have been racing through my mind these last 7 hours I needed to put them into words.
It was a beautiful, warm summer night in Toronto. I got to the rooftop patio early and chose the only remaining table off to the side… no view of the skyline. As luck would have it (and this becomes key later) a spot opened up right on the railing and I had a view of the skyline and the intersection below. My friend arrived shortly after and we were chatting and enjoying drinks.. Life was good. Fun was being had… it was a great Friday night.
As it happens, every once in a while I would glance out over the street… this time I glanced and saw a dog dash across the street through traffic. My first thought was for the dogs safety… Then I blinked and saw the guy lying motionless in the middle of the road and an SUV stopped up on the median. The guy wasn’t moving.
At this point everyone on the patio and in the street was aware of what happened to that poor guy. I did the only thing I could think of and called 911 immediately. I spoke to both the paramedic dispatcher and the police dispatcher. I don’t really remember the conversation, truth be told, I was drunk and can’t believe I was coherent while telling the cops what happened and what the state of the guy on the ground was. My friend made a comment that I sounded like I was a dispatcher myself by the no nonsense information that I quickly provided. I guess I just went into crisis mode and reacted… something that I thought everybody would do if in a similar situation. The people on the ground (in cars and on the sidewalk) immediately ran over to the guy to see if they could help which was a wonderful thing to see humanity do. While I was talking to them they kept asking me if the guy had moved yet. I was staring at the scene the whole time and the guy never moved.
The fire truck was there in a minute… at most two. The Ambulance was right on their tail and the police followed 20 seconds later. Unfortunately I don’t think the guy made it. He never moved and when they loaded him into the back of the ambulance I saw them put a sheet over him. Then they waited for their supervisor to show up. Not really the type of thing you would expect if the guy needed to be rushed to the hospital.
That was a tough pill to swallow. I knew he was gone when I was first on the phone with 911. It was the first death I have seen in real life. How do you go back to normal when a life was lost in the blink on an eye? I can only imagine what the police see every day… that is not a job to be envied, but one to be grateful that someone is willing to perform to serve the greater good. I can only imagine what those in NYC, Madrid, London, etc. etc. went through when they were bombed and terrorized. The response times there were excellent as well.
I stayed on the patio in case the cops needed me and I ended up going downstairs to talk to them when they called. Unfortunately all I really saw was the dog and the direction he/ she took off in. I couldn’t believe it that the cop actually wanted to know where the dog went. He said they were looking for it and wanted to know which way it went. I didn’t process that until later when I was back upstairs and a waiter came running up to tell us they had found the dog…. I looked across the street and there was the pup indeed. That meant a lot to me at that moment. It meant a lot that this poor scared dog was okay (it’s a really busy section of town with cars everywhere and that dog was moving when it took off). It meant a lot that the Toronto Police even cared about the dog when they were dealing with the tragedy of a human being losing his life and a crime scene investigation. It made me happy in a time of shock to know that we have police who care about life in general… and I thank them for it. I also thank the firefighters who were first on the scene to administer CPR. And the paramedics who were right behind them. The response time was incredible. No more than 3 minutes passed from the time of the accident and my 911 call (I called about 30-40 seconds after it happened) to when they were on the scene. If that guy lived it is because of their stupendous response time. I am so grateful to them.
After all this happened and they were still taping up the scene and doing the forensics my friend and I started talking about how great the response time was… and then it hit me.
What if I lived in Baghdad? This would not be something that you would probably even call 911 about… who would show up if you were outside the Green Zone? Would the response time (if they came at all) be minutes or hours?
Perspective hit me.
I am still in shock yet Iraqi’s and other HUMAN BEINGS around the world live with far worse horrors every day of their lives. Instead of being run over by a car they could be blown up by a car bomb or shot by a sniper or raped by paramilitary troops burning their village. Who weeps for them? How they continue to live ‘normal’ lives at all is a miracle. How atrocious that countries like the US and UK can inflict this kind of horror on others in the name of bringing them freedom. Freedom is being free to live, not just free to die. How disgusting that children are dying in Niger and Sudan and yet we still do nothing. Those of us and our countries who have so much do next to nothing to help our fellow inhabitants of this planet live in peace and without fear.
Never again in my name. Never again. I will speak up. I will add my voice to the others out there seeking to bring sanity to the world.
Life is precious and no one is expendable.
I wish you and yours all the best today… go hug someone you love and then get busy continuing to add your voice and heart to this planet and all creatures in it.
It can all be over in the blink of an eye. Don’t waste it.
Oh, and fuck the neocons and imperialists all over the world. You guys deserve all that’s coming to you in the ‘hereafter’ you keep preaching to me about.
another thought I had was about Infidel’s posting about the two wolves within where he mentioned fighting with his brother in VietNam…
man, I can’t even imagine what you saw my friend and I really wish you didn’t have to see it to begin with.
Peace.
~spiderleaf
First of all, wonderful diary, and many thanks for conveying your heartfelt emotions.
Kudos for you making the call, and staying the course with the police, 911, etc. If not for your bravery and help, it could have been much worse. Most would have not made the call, for fear of involvement, or their being intoxicated and the retrebution that may have.
Your recognition of the work the police are faced with daily is highly commended. My father was a officer of the law for over 40yrs, and yes, they see life and a lot of death on a daily basis, unfortunately.
I hope that no one would ever have to see what all vets have witnessed, and will live with in their memories for eternity. Unfortunately, mankind has not evolved far enough yet, that this will happen in our lifetime.
You have now became aware of how fleeting life, and all it’s sorrow’s, and joy’s, can be. In an instant it can be gone. It’s so fragile, and in one careless moment it’s over, be it your judgement, or another’s.
Take this moment you have witnessed, and make something positive out of it. The flowers will smell sweeter, the sun warmer, the wind more refreshing, and the coolness of the night, with all the stars above, all this, will be a work of art for you to behold.
Life is Love, and all to breif. It is, Life in the Blink of an Eye.
Bless you, for now you know.
skewed its priorities so severely that it hurts.
I see these athletes who make millions of dollars to entertain us and we pay such miniscule wages to those that we hire to protect life, limb and property.
The right wing screams about no tax hikes, cut taxes and the very people that we must pay to protect us are the first to be cut when there is no longer any money to pay them.
I rarely watch any sports any longer for this reason:
I watched an interview on ESPN about 13 years ago, an agent for some free agent in football had the audacity to say this “my client can’t even feed his children on 5.5 million dollars a year, this contract offer is an embarassment to me and my client”.
I would not pay a dime to watch another professional sports team, because they have become a bunch of spoiled millionaires who care little for the fans in this country.
I hope that soon, society will recognize the importance of those we hire to protect us.
Thanks for this spiderleaf. It made me think about the concept of “survivor’s guilt.” We usually associate it with those that survive a great tragedy. But really all of us that are paying attention are feeling some form of survivor’s guilt. I know I do. I think about how may things in my life that I take for granted every day. Just the basics, like safety, food, shelter, electricity, etc. not to mention things like a good income, friends, a quiet neighborhood and a beautiful backyard (thats where I am right now) etc. All of this would seem like heaven for so many people in the world. How dare I take them for granted!!! And yet I feel guilty that they come so easy for me. The only thing I can do lis lift up my voice on behalf of those who need to be heard and live with the tension.
Spiderleaf, I know personally how witnessing what you witnessed can cause a person to stop and consider how quickly life can come to an end. I saw a woman breathe her last breath and close her eyes for the last time. She was in a car accident that I watched happen in front of the place where I work. I had first checked on her husband, who was driving, and was moving around the front of the car to her side while looking at her through the windshield. She died right in front of me before I could even make it around to her. This was for me, as for you, the first time I witnessed someone dying, and I was shaken badly by it. This was three or four years ago now and there are still flowers and ribbons on a sign post at that intersection that were left by her family.
On Thursday I buried my own father who died of an apparent heart attack two weeks ago this coming Monday. I couldn’t even begin to explain how this has effected me because it has been too painful to be too introspective about it. I can say that his death has caused be to attempt to get my mind around the awful fact that a lifetime of memories, experiences, loves, losses, children and so on, can end, all at once in an instant. I know he will be carried forward in all our hearts, but his consiousness is gone forever. The loss is unimaginably deep and profound.
Thank you for sharing your experience and thank you as well for your efforts to make a difference in that man’s life.
Peace
To tell the truth, I avoided reading it for most of the day because the title is also appropriate to Hiroshima, the mother of all eyeblinks.
But it’s also appropriate to any dangerous inner city ghetto, to many Native reservations. It’s not only appropriate to the zones of conflict around the world. It also applies in the mines, mills, farms and factories around the world that make so much of what we consume now that we’ve brought the precious gift of freedom to our merchants.
It was only recently, perhaps well into the 20th century that death became associated with old age. For most of history, death was common at all stages of life. Many of our customs and folk arts, including tales and music, were forged in that reality.
I haven’t yet watched a human die either, but as a musician I often help bury them. I was just thinking that I’d be working this weekend if I were still in Ohio.
.
I must tell you I’m confounded by your witnessing …
In what paradise have you lived your life. Every birth you witness, you appreciate the beauty and miracle of life, and the apprehension of a thin lifeline, death could be a companion by birth. So often someone of the elder generation, a grandparent dies when grandchildren are born, one almost senses a process of reincarnation.
Personally, I never believed it unusual being confronted with death. At seven, I nearly died in a fall from a riding streetcar, backward on the pavement, miraculously escaping to be run over by a delivery truck. At 12 yrs of age, a neighbor lost his 15 yr old son by drowning in a nearby pond. I could swim, so I tried ferociously to find him in the minutes after we heard of the accident. On the bottom where he was found, it was the deepest part of the pond.
Later with children of your own, you become aware of moments of severe illness, modern society is dependent on knowledge of medicine, care and hospital facilities to save lives. Many, too many friends have died in car accidents.
I was fortunate to be present during a wake, witnessing my dad’s last breath when he passed away from old age. Later ashamed when my mom passed away, alone in her home, as she still lived independently without need of care.
As the beauty of birth is so often captured, so natural is the process of a person passing on from this world. Only when a death is senseless, I refer to the killings in Iraq, I’m mind bogged and am horrified by sorrow for the loved ones who are left behind so needlessly. Every life is meant to be lived to its fullest, the joys of youth, education, dreams and love. These deaths leave so many wounds, also by those who inflicted the deaths in a senseless war between nations.
Spiderleaf, thank you for this diary, it does make one realize the responsibility of all of us alive, we need to carry the torch of hope.
~~~
Thank you, Oui.
To clarify, I have dealt with death before, but have never seen it take someone right in front of me until now. For that I have been truly blessed.