Archie: It says so right there in the Bible, Meathead. ‘In pain shall youse give birth.’
Meathead: God said ‘youse’?
About The Author
BooMan
Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
CPB Taps Two GOP Conservatives for Top Posts:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/26/AR2005092601598_pf.html
but I just fucking can’t. If ever there was something that proved to me that there is No God because if there was it would give a shit and lightening bolts would fry people’s asses where they stand, this is it!
Apparently well qualified candidates need not have bothered applying:
With this kind of background, it’s not hard to see how Michael Brown was appointed to FEMA.
It’s a good thing Laura didn’t go to New Orleans and discover the coloreds.
I don’t see why we need these hearings with Brownie.
I think we all see where this is going.
Here, let me save the American Taxpayers billions of dollars.
from my children’s goddessmother [just received this in an email from her]:
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I don’t get paid overtime.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Response:
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the >arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative, you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
The management.
Hay, what’s this about not being able to work double shifts? 😉
Well, the one I “hired” does quite well, thank you very much — maybe this particular one was under FEMA management and lacked a “unified command structure”.
HOW TO STAY AWAKE IN MEETINGS: OFFERED AS A PUBLIC SERVICE…
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here’s a way to change all of that.
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call,
prepare yourself by drawing a square.
I find that 5″ x 5″ is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five
across and five down.That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally,
stand up and shout “BULLSHIT!”
Testimonials from satisfied “Bullshit Bingo” players:
“I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won.”
– Adam W., Atlanta
“My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically.”
– David T., Florida
“What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win.”
– Dan J., New York City
“The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box.”
– Ben G., Denver
“The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed ‘BULLSHIT!’ for the
third time in two hours.”- The Bullshit Bingo Championship will be
played at the next meeting.
FYI – NARAL debate alert at dkos. More drama to ensue shortly.
{resume regular scheduled programming}
and here is something i have to say to all of you:
As many of you may know, I am not a democrat, party politcs disgust me for the most part, and I know that the neo-cons are wrecking balls — they have been my whole politically cognizant life — I held my nose (and other orafices) and voted for Kerry and fat lot of good that did me, I voted in the 2002 elections and was shocked at those results as well.
Here is my challenge to you Democrats:
why should I vote for Ds??
I remain unconvinced. And if ya’ll can’t convince me, then you have no chance in hell, be you looney left, or centrist soldier, of convincing anyone else.
That was what I started hammering at them… I love Al Gore, I held my nose for Kerry, but we are NOT automatic Dem voters… we own our own votes, the Dem party does not.
One of these days they might wake up to that after they’ve diluted their message so much that no one can figure out what they would stand for or do if they were elected.
Nice visual eh.
I wouldn’t be surprised if their lack of complete outrage over everything Bush has done does not end up creating a true groundswell for a third party that is progressive & community based. I say screw the Dem party, Al Gore should start a new party. He’d have my support for sure. Maybe even be able to take a few folks with him… like Dean, Kuchinich, Waters, Jackson, etc. We’ll leave the few powerful liberal Dems in Congress (boxer, conyers, kennedy) and bring over the rest to our new party. Eh, it could work, it works in Canada and Europe. Just would take a lot of $ and dedication.
I’ve been enjoying reading your comments.
How stupid to they have to be to have an anti-choice diary frontapaged, and then write another diary wondering why
“Corzine (D) 48 (47)
Forrester (R) 38 (34)
Weird. There is no gender gap in this poll. Dems usually get a big advantage with women.”
I just got back from looking at some of the reasons why they think women aren’t putting out for the dem.
I feel like we’re shouting at them in esperanto, and they’re still stuck in the mode that women only make choices based on sex and security. Fuck- talk about projecting.
I know, and the fucking tone of these guys… did someone actually tell me to shush??
My oh my how the discourse has diminished.
They just don’t get it. At all.
Yeah, a beard. That’s it. Fer sure.
Brinnainne, if you really want to hear from someone on this, here goes:
I for one would never try to talk you into voting Democratic. I would, however, want to look at any one race and discuss the alternatives. And the place to start is in the primaries. Sometimes (although not all the time) you can find someone during the primaries that you can support with passion. This is why I dismissed all of the “electability” arguments during the primaries for the last presidential election and put my heart and soul into the Dean campaign. Lots of my friends stood on the sidelines during this time worrying about who was electable. I wanted to work hard for someone that I really wanted to win. Then if your chosen candidate wins the primary – yipeee. If not, you’re probably in for some nose-holding to vote for the lesser of evils. I just think we place WAY too much emphasis on the general election when we ought to be working our butts off in the primries – when we have choices.
I’m kicking myself right now because I missed the opportunity to do this in our recent primaries for mayor between three candidates (our DINO current mayor, a weak Democrat and a Green Party Candidate). I tried to strategize and voted for the weak Democrat when I could’ve voted for the Green Party candidate. She (the Green) came within a few votes of beating out our current DINO mayor who endorsed Bush!!! And the weak Democrat I voted for won in a landslide. I’m not making that mistake again.
I’ve quoted this before, but as Molly Ivins says, “In the primaries, go with your heart. In the general election, go with your head.” This advice has never missed for me.
WTF? With John Roberts’ confirmation as chief justice now assured, Republicans on Tuesday began pressuring the Senate’s minority Democrats to promise what they called a fair confirmation hearing and vote for Resident Bush’s next Supreme Court nominee.
Maybe someone should over them some cheese to go along with their whine. Might I suggest:
Peace
walking in NYC, some people would yell at him,
“Ah’m witcha all the way, Ah-ch.”
Carl Sagan’s Cosmos is on Science Channel now. I’m getting all goose bumpy.