Some of you may know that I was trained as a Family Therapist. The whole point behind this kind of practice is to look at how family systems operate in order to better understand an individual’s behavior. In other words, most of what we do is not done in a vacuum, but is influenced by the behavior of those around us. Since our families are the people we spend the most time with, we tend to develop systems of response to one another that can be rather entrenched and difficult to change.

For years I worked with families as a way to address the needs of troubled kids. It was great work and I really learned alot. But I think that ultimately, my mind wanted to go bigger than just looking at individual family systems. I think our communities and culture are systems as well that operate much the same way families do. So, for example, these days, instead of just looking at the fact that we have an epidemic of children labelled with things like AD/HD, Depression, Eating Disorders, etc, I think about how our culture is AD/HD, Depressed and has an Eating Disorder.

The systems are all in place to make it difficult for us to even see all of this at work, much less to change our individual behaviors. Just take a look, for example, at the Eating Disorder issue. This one is enough to make anyone crazy. On the one hand, we are sold food (and pretty tasty stuff at that) everywhere we turn. All at the same time that we are “sold” unrealistic levels of thinness as the ideal. Then, along comes the diet and exercise industry to make their money off this struggle and the science industry to tell us we will all die early if we don’t buy in. Did you know that in actuality, the morbidity rate in this country is higher for people who are too thin than it is for people who are too fat? That’s not something these industries want us all to know. So, a huge portion of the population in this country spends an inordinate amount of time and money dealing with an issue that, in my mind, has been created for us. Is it any wonder then, that our children have developed eating disorders??

So you might begin to see, with all of this, how my training and my interest in politics comes together. But I’m not so interested in how our leaders behave, but why we let them get away with it. And this led me recently to a look at the research that has been done over the last 60-70 years about the Authoritarian Personality. John Dean wrote a book about it titled Conservatives Without Conscience. Apparently back in the 1930’s in Germany, a group of social scientists wanted to understand how the people were led into such strong hatred and prejudice against Jewish people. They had to flee Germany and came to the US to continue their studies. Wikipedia has a pretty good summary of all this.

Research by Theodor Adorno/Else Frenkel-Brunswik suggests that a major determining factor in the formation of the authoritarian personality was found to be a pattern of strict and rigid parenting, in which obedience is instilled through physical punishment and harsh verbal discipline.Other traits associated with this personality type include dependence on authority and rigid rules, conformity to group values, admiration of powerful figures, compulsiveness, concreteness, and intolerance of ambiguity.

The list of charactaristics of the authoritarian personality could read like a diagnosis of all that is wrong with our US culture today:

Conventionalism — uncritical acceptance of social conventions and the rules of authority figures; adherence to the traditional and accepted
Authoritarian Submission — unqualified submission to authorities and authority figures
Authoritarian Aggression — hostility toward individuals or groups disliked by authorities, especially those who threaten or violate traditional values
Intellectual hollowness — rejection of the subtle, subjective, imaginative and aesthetic; little or no introspection
Superstition and Stereotypy — ready acceptance of pseudoscience as truth, cliché, categorization; ethnic and religious prejudice; fatalistic determinism
Power and Toughness — identification with those in power; excessive emphasis on socially advocated ego qualities; rejection of gentleness; contempt for the weak, unpopular, and powerless
Destructiveness and Cynicism — general hostility, lust for violence, extreme pessimism, view of the world as a dangerous place
Projectivity — belief in the overwhelming power of evil in the world, even in natural phenomena, and to project unconscious emotional impulses outward
Sex — undue concern with the methods of reproduction and sexual activities of one’s self and others

Some child development experts say that the authoritarian personality develops when children are raised in such a way that their feelings about sexuality and anger are repressed and are therefore dealt with by projecting them onto some “other” group who have been identified by those around them as the target of prejudice. This clearly develops a pattern of the “in group” who cannot be criticized, and the “out group” that encompasses the enemy. This also means that a person with the authoritarian personality must always live in fear because at some place inside themselves, all of these shadow feelings (ie, sexuality and anger) exist, but must be denied and hidden from themselves as well as the rest of the world.

One of the reasons this interests me so much is that I was raised in a family and a community that fits this description to a tee. Everyone I knew was an authoritarian personality and I was well on my way to becoming like this until my mid-twenties. So I know what it feels like on the inside and I know what it takes to challenge this way of seeing the world. But herein lies the hope as well, it can be done and I am living proof of that. But I’m not the only one. In doing some research about this topic, I ran across an amazing series on the Orcinus Blog written by Sarah Robinson and titled “Cracks in the Wall.” It is a three part series, but I’ll provide a link to the 2nd Part titled Listening to the Leavers because in this one she describes how people she knows have been able to leave these kinds of systems and open themselves up to the world again. Here’s a quote from her that meant alot to me:

These people know that the tiny flicker of enlightenment kindling in their minds is about to set their entire lives ablaze. And yet — with a courage that I always find astonishing — almost all of them forge ahead anyway. Some race for the wall. Others pace back and forth for months, planning their escape. A few disappear for a while, but return again a year later, having put their lives in order and ready to go at last.

We must never, ever underestimate what it costs these people to let go of the beliefs that have sustained them. Leaving the safety of the authoritarian belief system is a three-to-five year process. Externally, it always means the loss of your community; and often the loss of jobs, homes, marriages, and blood relatives as well. Internally, it requires sifting through every assumption you’ve ever made about how the world works, and your place within it; and demands that you finally take the very emotional and intellectual risks that the entire edifice was designed to protect you from. You have to learn, maybe for the first time, to face down fear and live with ambiguity.

I was so glad to find these words by Robinson. They not only affirm my journey and what it took for me to change, but they demonstrate that the rational arguments so many want to develop as a way to change the mind of an authoritarian personality WILL NEVER WORK. This is an emotional challenge, not an intellectual one. In order for change to happen, the fear must be faced – not argued away. Its still a constant struggle for me (as it probably is for most of us) to embrace my shadow side – the parts of me I don’t like, that are inadequate, that are shameful. But ultimately, that is what we all must do. I have to take responsibility for myself. I can’t give away the tough calls to someone in authority and I can’t deny who/what I am and project in onto anyone else.

And if we are ever going to change our culture of authoritarianism, we are going to have to help others face these fears as well. Robinson’s third part in the series, Escape Ladders, gives us some ideas of how to do that. I am convinced that this is how healing and change will happen.

Crossposted at Everybody Comes From Somwhere