Belated good morning to all. Because my daughter had to finish up homework she didn’t finish last night, (which meant I had to drive her to school) I haven’t been scouring the internets while downing my usual coffee laced milky beverage, searching for something to write my usual morning post about. Instead, because my daughter was using my computer to finish up her Latin essay, I was afforded the rare (and generally unwanted) opportunity to listen to the morning cable news programs. Normally I would have watched Sports Center, but there were some primary elections last night (you may have heard something about this, I suppose), so I was curious as to what the early buzz would be from all the usual suspects in Infotainment Land.

I began by watching MsNBC, and their coverage was allocated roughly 75% to the Obama v. Clinton race, and 25% to John McCain’s slow slog to the GOP nomination. And it was fascinating to watch, in the same way a train wreck is fascinating.

When I turned on the TV, MsNBC had Andrea Mitchell on being interviewed by the generic blonde female anchor person (sorry but I didn’t catch her name), and I have never seen such a long face from Mrs. Alan Greenspan before, as she described how grim things are looking for the Clinton campaign. Here’s the gist of her commentary: The Clinton campaign is being out raised in terms of money by Obama, they can’t contest any states prior to Texas and Ohio, the campaign staff shakeups are dispiriting, they’re spending all their time on the phone trying to keep their money people and Super delegates on board, yadda, yadda, yadda. You’d have thought someone had killed her pet dog the way she stared into the camera, very dispirited, very sad in that grim stereotypical way reporters project when they are commenting on a school shooting, a terrorist attack, a dead white girl or some other inexplicable tragic loss of life. It was really quite something. Normally she is bright and upbeat and always very very focused, but this morning she looked like I do before my second cup of coffee (and my antidepressant drugs) kick in.

Next up was Tim “Pumpkinhead” Russert, who looked like he hadn’t slept all night. Seriously, he looked like hell, though maybe that was his makeup sliding off his face. He gave it the old college try for Hillary, claiming she still had a core of support among women, Latinos, poor whites (he said blue collar voters, but we all know what that codes for) and people over 65. It really was amazing watching him try to spin Clinton’s truly spectacularly crappy results from last night into something positive. He kept claiming he had looked “deep into the numbers” (which means he examined the exit polls I presume) and that there was still enough there to suggest that Clinton can still win the nomination, as long as she takes Texas and Ohio by “comfortable margins” (whatever that means). It was a little like watching a drunk meander down the street after closing time at the local bar talking to himself insisting he knows where his car is, and he can still drive himself home.

It was so bad that even Joe “I did not kill that woman” Scarborough, dedicated conservative that he is actually responded with deep, dripping scorn and condescension to Russert, pointing out that these aren’t just losses Hillary is suffering these are 30 percentage point losses or more in state after state. He ran down the primary votes from Washington, Louisiana, Virginia, Maryland, Maine, and on and on, citing the large margin of victory for Obama in each one as if he had memorized them (and maybe he had). You could tell he thought Russert was full of it, and by the time he was done Russert had that deer in the headlights look, one that said “I can’t believe I’ve just been called on my bullshit by one of my own colleagues, and a second rate one at that!” He mumbled something in response but really had nothing to rebut Scarborogh’s take on the Obama surge.

The most interesting comments actually came from Chris Matthews, who also apparently had pulled an all nighter, but must have a better makeup person, because he didn’t look quite as bedraggled as Timmeh did. And the fact that Mr. “It’s all about me and my misogyny” may have been exhausted perhaps contributed to his insight this morning. Because rather than his usual bombast and bluster and general nastiness, he actually sounded like he had a rational thought in his head for once. He said that Hillary had made a strategic mistake at the very beginning of her campaign, because her message has concentrated solely on her experience and competence, her “readiness” for the job of being our next Commander-in-Chief.

In effect, Matthews said Senator Clinton has been running for George Bush’s job, albeit as a more competent, more intelligent manager of the political status quo. Obama on the other hand has been running to be the opposite of Bush, and Matthews claimed that Obama’s message was more in line with what the American people wanted right now. They don’t want to elect a more competent, intelligent Bush as President (i.e., a rerun of husband Bill’s presidency), they want someone fundamentally different, and that is why Obama’s message of “hope” and “change” is being received so well, and why he is attracting such a wide swath of voters from across the political spectrum, despite the fact that he often seems long on rhetoric and short on specifics. And Matthews just may be right. Voters may not know what exactly they want from their next President, but they damn sure don’t want a continuation of politics as usual. To many of them, I think Hillary represents more of the same, more of what we’ve been seeing since the Reagan era, and fairly or unfairly, that image of her is a detriment right now. She represents to people the politics of the past, a past that has led to where we are today, up to our eyeballs in war, debt, bankruptcy, infrastructure decay, educational failures and an economy that is good only if you are a millionaire.

Next it was Pat “I’m not a racist though I play one on TV” Buchanan. And he said what you would expect him to say. Obama has a message that appeals to more people than Clinton, especially independents and some moderate Republicans. Essentially he felt that Clinton’s time had passed, though he did get a small gleam in his eye when he spoke about the possibility of a brokered convention. As for McCain, Buchanan kept going on about McCain’s trouble with the conservative base of the GOP. Same old standard stuff. McCain is inevitable, but will he get the diehard Bushbots to vote for him in November. He also said that if the race is Obama vs. McCain, it will essentially be all about the war, since that is the one issue on which they are most in conflict. He said that the only strengths (such as they are) the Republicans have are the terrorism and war issues, so he expects the McCain campaign to focus on that issue more than any other.

That was pretty much it for MsNBC’s coverage. No one on their panel of talking heads by the way could in any way be construed as a liberal. Everyone was either a clearly defined conservative, or a pundit like Matthews and Russert who have enabled Republicans and slammed Democrats over the last god knows how many years. Par for the course.

The I switched to CNN and CNN headline news. They were much less focused on analysis, and seemed dedicated to just reporting on the election results and the delegate counts. They also did not stick exclusively with the presidential campaign, but quickly left to go to other stories, such as the weather (it sucks) and Roger Clemens (the famed baseball star accused of steroid use) testifying on Capitol Hill again, and whether he perjured himself or not in his previous testimony. In fact, they covered the Clemens story to a far greater extent than anything else. You’d have thought from all the attention they paid to this story the greatest crisis facing our country right now was whether athletes have been using performance enhancing drugs (they have) and then lying about it (they did). Needless to say, not a word was mentioned about Iraq or Afghanistan (and that applied to to MsNBC as well).

As for Fox and Friends? Sorry, but nothing on earth could get me to watch those idiots. Use your imagination. And just for the record, it will be a very long time before I subject myself to this sort of mindless blather again.