From Ellen DeGeneres regarding the murder of a 15-year-old gay teenager, Lawrence King by a classmate in Oxnard, California (via Pam’s House Blend):
“…I need to talk to you about something that’s really serious and really sad and if you know me, it’s hard to talk about sad stuff without getting emotional but this is really important to talk about. On February 12th an openly gay 15-year-old boy named Larry who was an 8th grader in Oxnard, California, was murdered by a fellow 8th grader named Brandon. Larry was killed because he was gay. Days before he was murdered, Larry asked his killer to be his Valentine.
I don’t wanna be political, this is not political, I’m not a political person but this is personal to me. A boy has been killed and a number of lives have been ruined and somewhere along the line, the killer Brandon got the message that it’s so threatening and so awful and so horrific that Larry would want to be his Valentine that killing Larry seemed to be the right thing to do. And when the message out there is so horrible, that to be gay you can get killed for it, we need to change the message . . .
Larry was not a second-class citizen, I am not a second-class citizen. It is okay if you’re gay . . . I don’t care what people say, I don’t care what people think, and I know there are entire groups of people who face discrimination every single day and we’re a long way from treating each other equally – all of it is unacceptable, all of it!
I disagree with Ellen on only one point: everything is political, especially the cause of human rights. Which is one more reason we need new leadership at all levels of government for our country, and a new direction from those we elect or appoint to positions of official authority, one which treats the lives of every human being the same, with dignity, respect and equal treatment under the law.
My husband was a career counselor. As he looks back, he remembers many young people who were deeply isolated in their high schools in the 80s and 90s, and today recognizes that he was far less sensitive to sexual orientation than he might have been.
But today most young people are quite comfortable with diversity. What’s so poignant about Ellen’s quote is the realization that someone of an older generation conveyed to that young man that violence was justified.
That older generation is fading fast…but not fast enough.
Not to in any way belittle the overwhelming anger this type of thing causes in many people’s hearts, but…let’s replace a few words there.
Fill in the blank with some other words…
“dating outside his race”
“a Muslim”
“against the war”
…and you start to see the truth of how the whole rotten thing works.
And that whole rotten thing needs to come down.
Or, let’s change names.
If Larry was Lori, and Brandon really liked her but was getting on her damned nerves, and making her feel uncomfortable, Lori would be told to learn how to take a damned compliment.
And if Lori killed Brandon, she would have been seen as out-of-control…because, she didn’t know how to take a damned compliment.
But we never, EVER, tell a straight guy to “learn how to take a compliment” if he ever does anything to merit being hit on by a gay guy. Any level of violence, including murder, is A-OK if a man feels “threatened.”
If a woman feels threatened…well, who cares? She shouldn’t have worn those jeans. Her top is cut too low. She shouldn’t show her curves. And she certainly has no right to kill someone who was just showing her the attention that she so obviously wanted.
She should just learn how to take a damned compliment.
A challenge for the next Democratic president, especially if the Congress is also weighted heavily with Democratic majorities: amendment of the Civil Rights Act to include sexual orientation.
With all due respect, passing legislation does little to solve problems like this. We need a President who has the balls to use the bully pulpit to publicly shame the whole mindset that is so prevalent among the hating class at times like this. It seems that every demographic group has demons and prejudices that they need to confront. What is needed more than laws or new legislation – blah blah blah, is to confront the ugliness right out in the open, no matter how uncomfortable it is to hear and have a public discussion about tragedies such as this and others like school shootings.
Ellen started the discussion. Good for her. But she’s just one talkshow host. Tragedies like this deserve a presidential address to the nation in prime time, because it goes to the core of our culture.
Anyone can agree that public discussion would advance the cause of gay/lesbian rights. But I disagree that adding sexual orientation to the Civil Rights Act would not also advance this cause.
This is where I wish again the ERA had passed. I agree that we need leaders to speak up and out loudly and repeatedly to keep a national discussion going so it sinks in to everyone that prejudice is wrong. Wrong, immoral, a sin, disgusting, dangerous, any way you want to say it-not believing people are equal is just horrifically wrong. This isn’t something that will get solved with someone like Ellen speaking out but with an ongoing discussion for a long time with the whole country involved-every last one of us.
‘Equality of rights under the law shall not be abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.’
Funny and not in a ha ha way how those few words caused such an massive massive storm of protest for so many years…I guess those words were just too dangerous for some americans with tiny twisted closed minds.
15-year-old eighth graders? That’s awfully old for the eighth grade.
Did these kids have developmental or behavioral problems to begin with that resulted in their being two or three years behind their peers?
Yes, new leadership will help. But as Obama says, we also need to be the change we seek.
Anytime you hear someone call someone a fag, call them out. Every time you hear someone use the word gay as a pejorative, calmly and firmly explain why that is wrong.
It can get uncomfortable, but most people only continue with that type of crap because nobody calls them on it. Most of them know somewhere inside of them that it’s wrong and when their outside support for such foul behavior dies, they can change.
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.“
– Martin Luther King Jr.
Good advice.