With Republicans grumbling that Newt Gingrich shouldn’t be allowed to speak at the Republican National Convention and with (so far) no official Romney endorsements from Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum, and no concession from Ron Paul, there aren’t a whole lot of candidates to fill the primetime speaking slots. In 2008, the Democrats were able to create four nights of excitement and buzz at their convention. Let’s look back at each night and try to figure out who would be the equivalents for the GOP.
1st Night’s Principal Speakers
Caroline Bouvier Kennedy, author, attorney, and former First Daughter
Edward M. Kennedy, United States Senator from Massachusetts
Michelle Obama, attorney, public servant, and executive; wife of Barack Obama
Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, congresswoman, Convention ChairWho is the Republican equivalent of Caroline Kennedy? This would be a beloved (unelected) member of a well-respected Republican political family. How many Republican families still command respect? The Bush family is tarnished, although not beyond redemption. The Dole family wouldn’t fit the bill. Perhaps the Cheney family would do, because Michael Reagan isn’t getting near the podium and Ronnie’s other kids are Democrats. That leaves us a choice between Liz and Mary Cheney. Since Mary is openly lesbian, I kind of doubt she’d open the primetime ceremonies. I’m going with the charming Liz Cheney here.
Now, who is the Republican equivalent of Teddy Kennedy? This would be a very long-serving senator from a respected family who is tremendously popular with the base and a whipping boy for the other side. There simply isn’t anyone who fits that bill. The elder statesmen of the GOP caucus in the Senate are all hated by the base: Orrin Hatch, Dick Lugar, John McCain. I think the best they can do is Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. A more exciting option would be Marco Rubio, provided he isn’t on the ticket. Or, maybe, Scott Brown could use the boost for his campaign against Elizabeth Warren (a nod to the middle and a boost for Massachusetts-style conservatism). I’ll go with Rubio. So, here’s the first night lineup:
Liz Cheney
Marco Rubio
Ann Romney
John Boehner
2nd Night’s Principal Speakers
Hillary Rodham Clinton, United States Senator from New York, former Congressional and Carter administration lawyer, and former First Lady of the United States; runner-up for the 2008 Democratic nomination
Mark Warner, keynote speaker, former Virginia governor and candidate for United States SenateThe most obvious equivalent to Hillary Clinton would be Rick Santorum, if only because they both finished in second place. But Santorum hardly stacks up against Hillary. Laura Bush would make more sense, but they still have to figure out if her husband will be allowed within 300 miles of the convention. There’s no good answer here, and it’s hard to envision a Santorum speech that would be helpful, but I’ll give Santorum the slot by default.
The second slot should be filled by someone who is an up-and-comer. In 2004, it was Barack Obama. In 2008, it was Mark Warner. What’s the equivalent this time around? It could be a candidate for the U.S. Senate like Jeff Flake of Arizona or Heather Wilson of New Mexico or Josh Mandel of Ohio. I’ll go with Mr. Mandel.
So, here’s the second night lineup:
Rick Santorum
Josh MandelCan you feel the excitement?
3rd Night’s Principal Speakers
Joe Biden, United States Senator from Delaware and 2008 Democratic nominee for Vice President of the United States
Bill Clinton, 42nd President of the United StatesNow we get to the heavy hitters. We open with the vice-presidential nominee, who I will assume to be Sen. Rob Portman of Ohio. Certainly, Romney could go for someone more exciting like New Jersey Governor Chris Christie or Marco Rubio of Florida. For now, I’ll go with the safe choice.
And who can compete with the Big Dog? Not George W. Bush. Not George H.W. Bush. Perhaps this is the slot for Jeb. Or, why not reach out to women and minorities in a token and insulting way? Let’s bet on Condoleeza Rice.
Here’s our awesome third night lineup:
Sen. Rob Portman
Condoleeza Rice
4th Night’s Principal Speakers
Al Gore, 45th Vice President of the United States
Barack Obama, United States then-Senator from IllinoisAnd here we face limited choices. Will it be John McCain or Dick Cheney? I think McCain retains slightly more good will and we already had a Cheney speak on the first night.
So, here’s the lineup for the final night:
John McCain
Mitt Romney
Let’s do one more thing here. Let’s compare the likely lineups of the Republican vs. the Democratic speakers this year.
1st Night’s Principal Speakers
Liz Cheney
Marco Rubio
Ann Romney
John BoehnerChelsea Clinton
John Kerry
Michelle Obama
Nancy Pelosi
2nd Night’s Principal Speakers
Rick Santorum
Josh MandelHillary Clinton
Elizabeth Warren
3rd Night’s Principal Speakers
Sen. Rob Portman
Condoleeza RiceJoe Biden
Bill Clinton
4th Night’s Principal Speakers
John McCain
Mitt RomneyAl Gore
Barack Obama
Which set of speakers seems better suited to excite the base and win over the middle? Which set of speakers indicates a healthy party and which set demonstrates a party in fatal decline?
Chelsea Clinton? Seriously? Ugh!! Why not Sherrod Brown instead? Or if it is a slot reserved for a woman, we can certainly find someone better. I’m not a fan, but I’d prefer someone like Tammy Duckworth by a mile over Chelsea Clinton.
Iunno where Booman’s getting the set list for 2012, but none of it is official. I haven’t seen any list of set speakers yet.
that’s fine. I was looking for a corollary to Caroline Kennedy who isn’t Caroline Kennedy all over again. Daughter of a president. Did you expect Amy Carter?
Why does it have to be a daughter of a President? Isn’t one of FDR’s relatives alive?
It doesn’t. I was trying not to be arbitrary so it was a fair comparison.
So these are achetypes and not really really really the assigned speakers?
Thank goodness. Chelsea needs some experience and at least one political win or close loss for her statements to have any real meaning outside an interview.
yes, they’re just comparisons of the caliber of people in both parties. They’ve got Barbara and Jenna Bush and Liz Cheney. We have Chelsea Clinton.
While reading through this interesting if somewhat grotesque thought-experiment, it occurred to me that Dick Cheney really is the “Grand Old Man” of the Republican Party. He’s the one with the gravitas. Being a war-criminal only adds to the gravitas of the situation. They’re welcome to him.
But don’t you think Cheney would have to be not only a speaker (assuming he could drag himself up to the podium) but also the MOST HONORED speaker? You know, the one everybody respects. Sort of like Hoover, who actually outlived JFK. Not J. Edgar — I’m talking about Herbert, the 31st president of the US of A.
As for “W”, why wouldn’t they have him? He may be the only one with a sense of humor. A sadistic sense of humor, but still, it would add a touch of lightness.
Also, I think both Rubio and Christie would speak, because they each have a bit of a following, and they’re not going to do anything else.
You didn’t even mention Giuliani. And the list goes on and on.
One of the nice things about getting a speaking slot at the convention is that it’s a sign that you’re important to the party even if you’re not actually running for anything, you don’t really want to run and nobody else wants you to either. This would fit a lot of Republicans, including anybody named Bush.
first they have to decide what to do with Bush Jr.
Bush Sr. is probably not up to giving a primetime speech, so he’s out. But can you invite Jeb and not George Jr.? How about Cheney but not George?
The easiest thing to do is whitewash them all out of the picture. Go with Liz Cheney and Condi Rice.
Doesn’t it look bad not to invite your own former president to speak? I didn’t know republicans disliked Bush that much. After all, it’s not like they have to vote for him.
I do think this is a useful exercise, because it makes you realize that the whole party’s nothing but a bunch of clowns, rejects and nonentities, and they’re all backbiting each other.
Jimmy Carter didn’t speak at the 2008 convention and I’m not sure he spoke at the 2004 or 2000 conventions either. Sure it looks bad. But it’s an advertisement for your party. You might as well run clips of Caddyshack during a Baby Ruth commercial.
Did Carter even want to speak? Don’t forget, Democrats treat their losers harshly. It’s one of the reasons why Hillary Clinton won’t run in ’16.
Jimmy only got a pre- taped pre-prime time speaking slot in 2008. He did get a major prime time live slot in 2004 which he used wisely to light into GWB. 2000 he rejected a taped speech slot. 1992 Clinton gave him a good pt live slot, his first appearance since leaving office. linkage
They didn’t invite him to the 2008 convention either. Anyone who thinks that satellite feed was for the convience of Shrub is nuts.
Attack dog type who will pretend that he balanced budget in blue state, reinforcing economic message. (This assumes he is not VP).
I don’t think there’s much need to try to “match” Caroline Kennedy. (Unless you want a video tribute to Reagan and Thatcher.)
I agree with that. If Scott Walker survives, he’ll probably get a slot, too.
Paul Ryan has got to be in there somewhere.
That said, this is a mostly meaningless exercise. It would have mattered 20 years ago, but networks have cut way back on convention coverage. Other than political junkies, not that many people will see anything but the last night. And for Republican political junkies & the base, as long as they relentlessly attack Obama – and they will – it doesn’t matter who’s speaking.
The other interesting thing about this (or any) list of potential Republican speakers is how few of them are likely to extol the virtues of Mitt Romney. It will all be negative, directed at Obama.
It’s gonna be difficult keeping Cuomo the Corporatist off that stage.
I’m hoping the waning of the Blue Dog Caucus will lead the party to highlight its real future. I’d like to see Sec. Sebelius, Sen. Franken, even Sen. Sanders get the recognition they deserve for supporting the American people and trying to address their real needs.
Except Sanders is not a member of the party. And he’s nearing 70 yrs old. 🙁