I don’t know. I think maybe if Jamie Dimon has to beg me for money to buy some Ramen Noodles so that he doesn’t starve then maybe there might be some justice in the world. Is he the most appropriate piñata? Probably not. But why should I care?
About The Author
BooMan
Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
To paraphrase Tom Friedman, sometimes you have to just grab a crappy oligarch and slam him up against the wall to show you mean business.
Or does that only apply to peasants?
I don’t know if Dimon is the MOST appropriate piñata, but he is certainly appropriate enough. Especially because JP Morgan Chase is so big, and because they pretended for so long to be clean as a whistle. JP Morgan and Chase have long histories as two of the most powerful banks in America.
Hey, you start the piñata party with the corrupt oligarchs you have, not with the corrupt oligarchs you wished you had.
So many pinatas, so little time. Gotta start somewhere, dude.
Hey, lighten up – it’s almost as random as the millions of people whose lives you ruined, but at least you have your hundreds of millions to console yourself with.
and because they pretended for so long to be clean as a whistle.
Amen to this. His posturing back in the day was nauseating.
What is equally appalling are those idiots who still claim this scumbag is the smartest guy in the room and should should keep his job despite, what, now about $14B in fines? That’s accountability for ya!
I love that Sorkin considers it a defense of Dimon that “only” $2.2 billion of the fine stems directly from JPM’s own actions.
That sums up the sense of entitlement and total lack of perspective nicely.
I’m about as shocked as Captain Renault that I could correctly guess that Andrew Ross Sorkin was the one giving Dimon an under-the-table handjob before clicking through.
Chase stole our home. I would give Dimon ramen, but only because the stuff isn’t good for you.
I wonder if Jamie regrets paying bonuses with the 25 billion he got in the TARP bailout?
I suspect his regrets are around far more important things, like picking out a tie this morning that really doesn’t go as well with his favorite new suit as another he should have chosen.
Also, too, when he got up this morning he discovered that the wine cellar wasn’t humidified properly overnight. (The second one, under the guest house. But still.) It’s so hard to get good help these days, even though there’s so many to choose from.
Your pitch perfect comment has lifted my spirits this morning. Thanks for that!
People focused so much on Goldman, which is truly an unethical bank, too…but what Goldman did was 99.999% legal; they were also the best at it.
JP/Chase was both terrible at what they did, and criminal as fuck.
So pick your poison I suppose.
Is your lobster unionized?