As I was tossing and turning in my bed last night, I thought about calling in sick today. It’s not something I’ve done more than once or twice in this job. In general, writing makes me feel better, so there’s really almost no circumstance where I’d want to spend an entire day not writing. But this pandemic was starting to get to me. It’s not that I feel ill, although with all this stress and worry I can’t say I feel well either. It’s more that I’m finally confronting something that kind of asks me to just step back and observe without comment. A little voice is saying to be still and quiet for a moment. Maybe I need to find my bearings.
But I can’t do it. I can’t report in as sick when my sickness is so widely shared and yet isn’t truly incapacitating. The same things that are weighing on me like a black cloud are weighing on everyone else. For example, how do I safely procure food for my family when my wife is asthmatic and at high risk? I’ve made 3am trips to the local Wegman’s, but that’s not a healthy schedule for anyone. I’ve used the delivery services of Whole Foods, but their workers are striking over unsafe conditions and low pay. I’ve gone to convenience stores, but found it impossible to maintain a six-foot distance from the check-out person, let alone the other shoppers. What about my twentysomething step kids? They haven’t been rigorously isolating for 14 whole days, so under what circumstances should we get together?
My mother-in-law came up from Florida over two weeks ago, but I’ve only waved to her from a safe distance. She made the whole family some cloth masks. I’ve had mine in my coat pocket for at least 10 days now, but I haven’t used it. I very much appreciated her effort and thoughtfulness, but didn’t think it would would actually help since the virus is so small it can pass through cloth as easily as it passes through air. But now I realize that I’ve been making a mistake. The mask won’t protect me, but it could protect everyone around me.
You see, it’s very possible that I’ve been infected during my resupply forays and don’t even know it. If I cough into my mask, it will limit how far I spread the virus. This might even apply to the simple act of breathing.
As many as 25 percent of people infected with the new coronavirus may not show symptoms, the director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warns — a startlingly high number that complicates efforts to predict the pandemic’s course and strategies to mitigate its spread.
In particular, the high level of symptom-free cases is leading the C.D.C. to consider broadening its guidelines on who should wear masks.
“This helps explain how rapidly this virus continues to spread across the country,” the director, Dr. Robert Redfield, told National Public Radio in an interview broadcast on Tuesday.
So, I have something to write about after all. I’m going to wear my mask from now on because I have no way of knowing if I have Covid-19 and I don’t want to put anyone at risk. I’ve taken as many precautions as I can, but who can say if the clerk at 7/11 had the virus, or the woman at the grocery store who invaded my space to fix the glitchy self-checkout computer? They’re spending eight hour shifts serving people, some of whom are almost definitely asymptomatic carriers. My township only has two confirmed cases right now, but the township where my Wegman’s is located has the highest rate of infection in the county. In fact, Wegman’s may be the reason for that.
These are now life and death decisions for me and my wife and possibly for anyone I encounter outside of my self-quarantine. Wearing my mask will make me feel self-conscious. But it’s the smart and moral play here. So, I’m going to do it.
This is another reason why we need widely available testing. Without it, even the smallest decisions can be paralyzing.
Just last night we came to the same conclusion. From here on out, I wear a mask. I had to make a foray yesterday, and I would say it’s about 10% mask wearers in Oceanside. Last week it was zero. If I had to guess, virtually everyone would wear them if they had them.
Asia is where the experienced cultures are, and every one of them says the same thing….everyone should wear one.
We are now past day thirteen on social distancing and state ‘shut down’. So we shall see. Watching the local and state numbers has become a hobby.
I don’t really like the word ‘hate’, particularly people I don’t know. But anybody that still identifies as a republican? I’m sorry, you are beyond all hope, and ‘hate’ is what you deserve.
Are you planning to wear a fresh one every time? That’s what’s being recommended. Wonder if briefly microwaving the mask would be useful. I only have a half dozen of them.
Good question, anyone know?
Depends on the mask, and what the mask is made out of.
Here is a link to 3M that states they haven’t figured out a way to reliably and safely disinfect respirator masks (the kind healthcare workers use, like the N95).
https://multimedia.3m.com/mws/media/1816576O/disinfection-of-disposable-respirators-technical-bulletin.pdf
I’m a RN in an ED in inner city Atlanta. Right now we are currently re-using our N95 mask, surgical mask, and face shield for 5 days. After each use we store it in a paper bag. We use a surgical mask in front of the N95 to prevent it from getting “soiled”. We have to ration them, for the reasons you’ve heard about. Right now I am able to use a fresh gown each time I go into a room, but I’ve heard that at a sister hospital, they get 1 gown per shift…which is hilariously tragic because if the gown is effective at all, it is also contaminated on the outside and just sloshing around virus.
PS: Before COVID-19, N95 masks were used one time and thrown away because if it was effective, it was contaminated. Now we just use a clean glove to put the mask(s) on, and then goggles, and a clean glove to take them off to store in our definitely-contaminated paper bag.
N95 masks are meant for airborne precautions, for things like Tuberculosis, Measles and Chicken Pox. And technically…COVID-19 is thought to be spread by droplets, which surgical masks are good for.
Unless you’re in full PPE, you’re not really protected from the virus by a cloth mask/scarf as it can pass right through a cloth mask, paper mask, or, a scarf.
That said, if you’re using cloth masks/scarves to essentially catch your cough/sneeze, then just wash it as much as possible, especially with bleach if it doesn’t destroy the mask. Bleach is going to disinfect almost everything.
Using a mask to protect people from YOU is an actual realistic use of a non-fresh non-surgical mask. Cover your face to help other people. But don’t think it’s going to do much for you if someone coughs into your face while wearing one. It will go right through a scarf or cloth mask, and can infect you through your eyes – mucous membranes are very friendly openings for bacteria and viruses.
And as we’ve been saying for a long time, wash your hands. Sanitize your hands. They’re germ zoos.
The other day I dug up a couple of P95 masks that I had lying around from a recent drywall sanding job here at the house. Essentially as effective as the N95 that everyone is trying to procure. I bought a 3 pack at Lowes a couple of months ago, and still have 2 of them. Just reading up on it this morning. The filter is not fine enough for the actual virus itself, but most everything that would carry it in the air that emanates from a human would be stopped. And a filter keeps you from touching your face, which I hadn’t really thought about until I saw something about it on Twitter. Now that I have them here, I think we will wear them on our treks to the grocery, for certain. For groceries, I have been going to the “Senior Hour” that Kroger has from 7:00-8:00 in the mornings. You see quite a few of the over 60 crowd there wearing masks. I have all the same concerns you have. I’m more worried about my parents, in their 80’s, than I am. But every day I read more and more accounts of healthy young people getting it, and when I ponder the ramifications for me, it makes me a little uneasy.
I have had pneumonia twice in my life. And when I remember how that essentially made me immobile for a week or more, and several more weeks before I could get a deep breath, I don’t want to contemplate an even more serious situation, as I would have with this virus. Not being able to breathe efficiently simply tears you down so quickly. The fatigue, the pain, and the frustration of the struggle to draw in air is scary as hell. It is hard to describe the panic you feel when you can’t get that air into your lungs. We have done a pretty good job of simply staying home. But we do occasionally have to go out. I really do pay attention to who is around me, and the whole hand cleaning thing. But every time you go outside your little quarantine zone, you have to recognize you’re rolling the dice, to a degree. There have only been 21 confirmed positives cases in our county, and no hospitalizations of those people. But I know that the number of people walking around with it is many times that. And if you stop and think of the number of encounters you have had with people over the last month, in spite of all the social distancing and precautions, it makes you realize your level of risk is uncomfortably higher than it should be. And let’s just say I am skeptical that we will see any type of widespread testing. I’m not prone to conspiracy theories, but it seems there is a purposeful effort in certain quarters of power in this country to suppress that sort of information which shows the actual level of infection in the largely asymptomatic general public. And there are many justifiable reasons one could cite to believe that is exactly the case.
Don’t have a real mask but I dug out the “buff” I use for sun protection when fishing. I pull it over my face on my rare forays into public spaces. Maybe 3% effective but hey….
I think it’s been clear for some time that optimally everyone would wear a mask. Didn’t try to procure any because we were advised not to — to leave them for health professionals. I’d ordered some prior to that request and then cancelled the order. The result is I have no mask to wear.
We’re pretty well locked down. Have made a few grocery runs but people are not taking this seriously enough so we’ve decided to try to get everything delivered from now on. Too many cars are still on the street and yet preliminary signs are that the lock down is having the desired effect. That’s not yet 100% clear but indications are good. Our numbers are still growing but the rate of increase is declining.
I’m fortunate to live in a beautiful and rather isolated spot. If I take a walk I’ll like see a neighbor or two but I can easily stay a good distance away. I’ve not been going to my office or my wife to hers but if we did we’d be the only ones there. Only the supermarkets scare me. Sure hope home delivery works.
I share your sense that we’re not doing enough to pay and assist those who are manning the stores. Will tip well.
The super markets are not my favorite, either.
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We have a Kroger nearby and can order it and then pick up at window. It gets you the hell out of the house.
All sensible comments. I’m wearing a mask that my wife made using a piece of a HEPA-type vacuuum cleaner bag sewn inside a cloth covering. I wear gloves if I go out at all. At my neighborhood Trader Joe’s, they basically usher shoppers in and out and allow only 25 people in the store at any time. Whenever anyone leaves, an employee takes the shopping cart and wipes down the handle and other parts with sanitizer. One is required to bag one’s own groceries. But the cashiers are not wearing masks at all.
An anecdote: I work for a federal agency, and back in about mid-February, our so-called safety officer came across on a list of surplus goods available from other federal agencies a large number of N95 masks. There are limited circumstances in which someone in my agency might have use for an N95 mask, and our safety officer decided to order those surplus masks. Turns out that they were delivered about the beginning of March as the shit was starting to hit the fan here in the US and we were all hearing about mask shortages for health-care workers. Our office chief had a lot of us hassling him about what was literally a palletful of N95 marks in our warehouse. To his credit he quickly got the lion’s share of the masks into FEMA’s hands.
Good to know there are still people of conscience.
Here is a video about mask use in the Czech Republic and how they were able to flatten the curve: https://youtu.be/BoDwXwZXsDI
Ours are home-made, from APs. We live in suburban Westchester County, NY, an increasingly a hot spot. Masks haven’t caught on here yet. Had the U.S. had followed the Czechoslovakian model from the get-go . . .
Jeremy Howard featured in the video shows how easy it is to make mask using an old t-shirt and adding a papertowel lining. Thank you for sharing. I am so fed up with all thel lying, misinformation, and cruel calculations by those who think dying old people and immune compromised is ok to salvage their bank accounts and the “economy”. We can decrease the spread by 50% if we all mask up. Now I understand and appreciate the Asian culture of wearing masks and see it as humanitarian rather than wierd or paranoid.
Almost nobody at the local Wegmans had a mask on. I was one of the few. Not many people wiping down carts either.
Yep, if masks are the new fashion trend, that’s wonderful.
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Don’t get too wound up about the lack of testing. A test can only tell if you had COVID-19 at the time of the test. It is perfectly possible to get the disease the day after your test, and not have any symptoms for days after that. No celebrations of a negative test, at least not with other people.
What the test is good for is providing a reason for people with the disease to go into strict quarantine. There are some pretty good reasons to suggest we should all go into strict quarantine anyway, with or without a test, as much as possible. All we need is three straight weeks without a single virus transmission event nationwide, and that fucking virus will be history.
You’re making the right call for yourself and your community here, Martin. Thanks for sharing this decision of yours.
As I was tossing and turning in my bed last night, I thought about calling in sick today. It’s not something I’ve done more than once or twice in this job.