I doubt that when Nicholas Bogel-Burroughs was hired as a reporter by the New York Times that he anticipated that he’d have opportunities to write ledes like this:

A man accused of throwing a sandwich at a federal agent who was patrolling Washington this week, after calling him and other agents “fascists,” was charged with assaulting a federal officer on Wednesday.

The police said the man threw a “sub-style” sandwich at a Customs and Border Protection officer on Sunday night, the day before President Trump’s announcement that his administration was temporarily taking over Washington’s police force and sending National Guard troops and federal agents into the city for patrols.

A video of the interaction went viral, showing a man repeatedly yelling at the agents near the corner of 14th and U Streets in Northwest D.C., a popular part of the city filled with bars and restaurants. “Shame! Shame!” he yelled from across the street.

At some point, the video shows, he got closer to the officers and warned them to back up while berating them.

After minutes of yelling, the man paused briefly, wound up and threw the sandwich into the chest of the C.B.P. officer, then ran into the street as officers chased him. A transit police detective, Daina Henry, included screenshots of the video in an affidavit that was included with the criminal complaint.

The detective wrote that the man charged in the crime, identified as Sean C. Dunn, 37, had confessed after he was apprehended. “I did it. I threw the sandwich,” the detective quoted him as saying.

Sean Dean, 37, may not be the brightest crayon in the box but I question his choice of sandwich shop more than willingness to take a federal criminal charge to make a point. There have to better places in DC to get a sub than Subway, no?

Now, I confess that I couldn’t get behind the widespread support for cult hero Luigi Mangione, the man who murdered United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson on the street in Manhattan and gained shocking broad approval for his actions. I don’t think the way to solve inequities in the health care market is to gun down a father with two young kids at home. Sorry. 

But I’m all for peaceful protest, and please don’t tell me anyone was at risk of injury from a flying long-roll sandwich. I hope people step up and help Dean pay his legal fees and fines. I will not be surprised if the new DC prosecutor (and former co-host of The Five), Jeanine Pirro, throws the book at him and seeks hard prison time.

It’s notable that the “victim” in this incident was a Customs and Border Patrol Agent. I don’t think CBP agents can fulfill their mission by standing around on DC streets like useless jackasses. Customs are at the airport. The border is over a thousand miles away.

Did the guy deserve to get called a fascist and hit with a sandwich. Most likely, not. But he’s serving as a cog in a fascist takeover of Dean’s city and country. He didn’t belong there and Dean understood his presence was a serious threat.

So, he did it. He threw the sandwich.

He’s a hero to me.