The Taoiseach (Prime Minister) of Ireland met with our shit for brains president today. It did not go well.

I’m tempted to leave it at that. After all, do you really need to know more? Did you ever expect anything less?  Why devote another fraction of our lives to discussing for the one-billionth time that Donald Trump is dumber than the average Darwin Award recipient?

You’d think even a simpleton would allow himself to be briefed about shit he doesn’t know before traveling to foreign countries and meeting foreign heads of government. But not Trump. He cannot be bothered to learn anything, ever. And he’s only marginally bothered by the fact that this predictability and regularly results in him being humiliated in front of the entire world.

So, he showed up in Ireland and had barely disembarked from Air Force One before he tried and failed to use the large hole in his face in an intelligible manner.

You don’t have to be at all conversant in the detailed history of Ireland to know that they’ve had a bit of trouble between the North and the South– the Protestants and the Catholics.  You might remember that they fought for a long time but things got patched up in the 1990s after President Bill Clinton sent George Mitchell over there to hammer out an agreement. Even if you don’t remember that, you ought to understand that Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom. If the United Kingdom leaves the European Union that means that Northern Ireland will be leaving too. But Ireland will not be leaving, and that means that there will be a new kind of border separating the two Irelands.  What kind of border it will be is still undecided, but the entire prospect makes almost everyone unhappy.

Very few Americans know anything about the present border but most of us would at least read the Wikipedia page before trying to comment on the issue while talking to Ireland’s prime minister. Not Trump.

He thinks the idea of the Brits leaving the European Union is an excellent idea, mainly because that’s a common opinion among morons, racists, and people who work for Vladimir Putin. So, naturally, he couldn’t wait to talk about the positive changes Brexit will necessitate on the border.

Donald Trump has started his visit to Ireland by comparing its post-Brexit border with Northern Ireland to the US border with Mexico, along which he wants to build a permanent wall.

Trump, sitting next to a visibly uncomfortable taoiseach, Leo Varadkar, waded into the Brexit debate minutes after Air Force One touched down at Shannon airport on Wednesday afternoon.

“I think it will all work out very well, and also for you with your wall, your border,” he said at a joint press conference. “I mean, we have a border situation in the United States, and you have one over here. But I hear it’s going to work out very well here.”

The problem is that Ireland doesn’t think it’s going to work out very well at all. Actually, no one thinks that. Literally, no one but the bloated imbecile we call our president thinks that.

Varadkar interjected that Ireland wished to avoid a border or a wall, a keystone of Irish government policy.

“I think you do, I think you do,” Trump said. “The way it works now is good, you want to try and to keep it that way. I know that’s a big point of contention with respect to Brexit. I’m sure it’s going to work out very well. I know they’re focused very heavily on it.”

To be clear, there is no fucking border wall between the two Irelands. The way it works now is that people pass back and forth much the way people pass back and forth between New York and Connecticut. This is preferable to the way it used to work when paramilitaries set up checkpoints and imposed religious tests on each other.  So, yes, Trump was right when he said “the way it works now is good, you want to try and to keep it that way.” That’s the whole point. That’s why Brexit is as welcome in Ireland as a goddamned hemorrhoid.

In fact, it was such a pain in Taoiseach Varadkar’s ass that he had to address his own people at length after the meeting with Trump was over because they were confused that a human being with as much power as the American president could say things that are so dumb that they can’t be comprehended.

“[Trump] said in the meeting that he was aware that the sticking point of the [Brexit] negotiations is the issue of the Irish border.

“We didn’t go into any particular detail into how he thinks it can be done but he understands that that has to be a shared objective if the UK is going to leave with a deal, that deal has to involve legally operable guarantees that we won’t see the emergence of a hard border between north and south.”

“We very much discussed the different nature of the border, and I explained that 20 or 30 years ago, we did have a hard border between north and south, particularly when the Troubles were happening.

“And there were customs posts and so on and that everyone in Ireland, north and south, unionists and nationalists, want to avoid a return to a hard border – but that Brexit is a threat in that regard, an unintended consequence that we can’t allow.”

Varadkar went on to explain that Trump had been speaking to Brexiteers in England and probably had gotten some bad information. As for understanding Ireland, well Trump doesn’t.

In a solo press conference after the meeting, Mr Varadkar was asked about Mr Trump’s description of the Irish border as a “wall” and whether or not the president understood how much the Irish government wanted to avoid a hard border after Brexit.

“He’s the president of America and there are nearly 200 countries in the world, so I don’t think it’s possible for him to have an in-depth understanding of issues in every single country, which is why this engagement is important,” Mr Varadkar replied.

What’s also important are briefing books. We have a State Department and National Security Council, both of which are chock full of people who could explain the Irish border issue to the president. For that matter, we have millions of Irish-Americans and British-Americans who could explain the basic history of the region to the president.

But he doesn’t want to know.

So, once again, the president made a fool of himself and all of us while strutting around the world stage.