What I have to say is certainly NOT breaking news, as a matter of fact its not news at all. I could understand if its not viewed as important for anyone but me.
But as we have all been struggling with the state of our society and world for so long now, I begin to wonder what I’m doing, if its enough and if we’ll ever be successful in turning things around.
I go back and forth with where to best put my efforts. But nothing I can imagine doing, especially alone, seems to have even a small chance of making a difference.
That’s why last week, when several people in my small world reached out to me to talk about their lives and struggles, and I listened, I felt more powerful and hopeful than I have in a long time. As they say, its often the little things.
Then there was the fact that I saw the following poem twice in two days during the same week. Seems the universe had a lesson for me, and I had some things to learn.
To laugh often and much,
To win the respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children,
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
And endure the betrayal of false friends,
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others,
To leave the world a bit better,
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch
Or a redeemed social situation,
To know even one life has breathed easier
Because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded!
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’m going to take some time to not only count my blessings, but my “successes” as well. And then I’ll carry on.
Thanks NL – I keep asking myself, what do I want to practice?
About 15 years ago I got to spend about 6 weeks in a South American country. I didn’t drive at all while there, but I did get to ride in cars about ten times. And I had to learn to navigate city streets as a pedestrian.
A variety of us from various parts of the U.S. noted upon our return that those who drove needed to be careful because there was a tendency to speed and use stop signs as indications to pause slightly – just what the drivers did in the SA country. I could not believe what I did my first time as a driver upon my return! I am usually a very cautious driver but I wasn’t that first time.
That experience keeps coming to mind as hate and fear and violence continually get shown and reinforced throughout the media. I find that such messages need to be consciously countered. It takes a certain vigilance so I don’t withdraw from people or begin to look at them with a kind of suspicion or act with less civility.
To open to others – to listen to them – to really see them – these are quite powerful gifts you offer. The “success” is found in the effort, not in the results. I believe the “beancounter” and “bottomline” people have got it all wrong. 😉
Thanks for the Emerson quote.
Thanks tampopo. I agree, and think that last week I just needed a reminder to re-focus to stay open and not let all thats “creepy” about what’s going on around us distract me from those that are right in front of me.
By the way, I’ve never told you how much I love your sig line. It always makes me think of a quote from “The Great Cosmic Mother” by Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor:
To return to harmony… we must align our gestures into those of dancers. We must become beings who do not wish to control life, but only to listen to its music and dance it.
I find diaries such as this one are necessary for me to be able to keep taking in those that inform me of all that is wrong in the world. I do appreciate your taking the time to share what has helped you.
And that is a marvelous quote you have written – thank you.
tampopo, I agree it’s a great Emerson quote. We’ve got it stuck up in our kitchen.
The “success” is found in the effort, not in the results. I believe the “beancounter” and “bottomline” people have got it all wrong.
You’re quite right on this. Another way to phrase this is the way my partner occasionally reminds me to have patience with our girls: “remember, it’s the journey that matters, not the destination”.
Nancy, you are truly a success – in so many regards – not the least of which is that of a caring, intelligent, principled friend. I was moved by this verse when you shared it earlier this week, and once again I find myself drawn to it.
I hope you know the extent of your outreach and the positive effects you’ve had on those around you. You’ve been there for many on the verge of crisis, and that’s quite an amazing gift for everyone who has been touched by your presence (be it in person or of the cyberspace nature).
Thank you for sharing this!
“We must become beings who do not wish to control life, but only to listen to its music and dance it.”
Exactly!
Shall we dance?
Hugs
S
I’m stepping out with you Shirl – even if only in my imagination. Right now I’m listening to “The Power of Two” by the Indigo Girls – care to dance?
So were okay
Were fine
Baby I’m here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
I’m stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
We’ll look at them together then we’ll take them apart
Adding up the total of a love thats true
Multiply life by the power of two
Why…………thank you Miz Nancy. . . . .I certainly do care to dance! Indigo Girls is lovely!
The power of two……..Totally awesome!!!
Let’s just keep dancin through the night. . .[Big Smiles}
Hugs
Shirl
To me, success is 1) Health, 2) Happiness & 3) Enough $$ to keep the wolf from the door. Just watched part of Status Anxiety on PBS about people always wanting more and how it’s a “disadvantage” of the democratic system where everyone believes that they can reach the top. As the host, who is British, waxed on about how people in a class system were happier because they were satisfied with their station in life, it struck me that it might be the first round of propaganda on how we’re going to be better off when the Haves & Have Mores rule everything.
“…democratic system where everyone believes that they can reach the top.“
I thought a democracy is where everyone is created “equal” – there would be no “top.”
Maybe it is “capitalism” that creates a “top” to be reached?
But, wait a minute – isn’t a “democratic process” an organizational structure for how people might work out how to live together and “capitalism” is an economic model?
Do we have either here in the U.S.?
We have a bastardized version of both.
Perhaps the worst of both systems? 🙂
Denim, your comment and one by Scribe below remind me of meeting the husband of a friend of mine while I was on a trip through Canada years ago. He had just given up a career as a professional figure skater to go home and help run their family farm. He and his wife had just given birth to their first child. While we were talking at the kitchen table, he said, “I can’t think of anything in life that I need that I don’t already have.” There is something to embracing the concept of “enough” that is so freeing and empowering – especially in the “get more” culture that surrounds us.
Also reminds me of a book by Lynne Twist titled “The Soul of Money.” She talks about needing to replace a mindset of “scarcity” with a mindset of “sufficiency.”
These are the things that empower me and free me to engage with the world in a more peaceful way.
Had to give this topic some thought, so thanks for the nudge to so so, Nancy. Great diary.
For many years of my life, I allowed others to define what sucess is for me. And most of it seemed to involve carving away great chunks of who I naturally was, to fit into designated boxes, or roles, and the rest of it seemed to have to do with acquiring the tools/skills I needed in order to asquire as much “stuff ‘n status” as I could accumulate so I could prove I was “sucessful”.
House of cards, all the way, and it collapsed, as most do.
Now, I define sucess a whole different way.
It’s knowing what “enough” means.
It’s understanding that I already “have” all I need, and simply need to use it.
It’s finally pausing to gather up all my formerly severed parts, patching them back together.
and viewing the outcome as certainly flawed yet perfectly fine, just as it is, no matter how others see me.
It’s FINALLY understanding that the only lasting riches there are exist within in the bonds I create and then nurture, with all my relations, with the world I have, and with my own imperfectly fine self.
Nothing and no one can ever take these away, so finally, I feel truly safe, and truly sucessful.
Thanks. I needed that.
I’ll add a little somethinbg from the Dalai Lama:
We are visitors on this planet
We are here for ninety or one hundred years
at the very most.
During that period
we must try to do
something good,
something useful
with our lives.
If you contribute
to other people’s happiness,
you will find the true goal,
the true meaning of life.
And a quote from the Dalai Lama I try and wake to every morning:
Every day, think as you wake up
Today I am fortunate to have woken up.
I am alive,
I have a precious human life.
I am not going to waste it.
I am going to use my energies to develop myself,
to expand my heart out to others,
to acheive enlightenment for
the benefit of all beings.
I am going to have kind thoughts towards others.
I am not going to get angry,
or think badly about others.
I am going to benefit others
as much as I can.
The true meaning of life indeed. Thanks north country!!
You’re welcome. Use in good cheer. -:)
It depends on what the venue is. On a personal level, am I happy? Am I doing something with my life that I can feel proud of? That I love? On that front things are looking pretty good. It’s only when I look beyond the windows of my immediate world that I start to get depressed. I fight it with political writing and community building and by constantly reminding myself of the long run of history and all the darkness that has been made light over the years despite the best efforts of those who would drag us kicking and screaming into the past.
and closer to my Taoist upbringing.
I’ve always felt successful if I could make someone smile, laugh or giggle. 🙂
Great Diary NL!!! Thank you for this centering.
Janet, you are a wonderful success. You make me giggle a lot!! And what a difference a little laughter makes.
because I’ll even stoop to posting my horrible ugly ass haircut from hell photo or… my pink slip 🙂
No. I won’t post those again! 🙂
did you know Patch Adams.. THE Patch Adams was one of the folks who fasted with CodePink? I didn’t know that till recently. OMG!
That is precisely the Emerson quote that started me on a journey many years ago of seeking out and reading all the Emerson I could get my hands on. My efforts were well rewarded. Catching the flow of Emerson’s language can sometimes be a bit on the difficult side, but it is well worth the effort, imho.
From Emerson’s essay “Compensation”
No fragment of this essay can capture its beauty. I recommend reading the whole thing.
I am ashamed to admit pretty total ignorance of the general writings of Emerson. My bookgroup does our annual selection of reading for next year in a couple of weeks. I wonder if you could recommend a collection in book form that a group of 50-60 year old women might appreciate. I’d love to nominate one.
Well, there are many collections. I have personally preferred the Modern Library Classics versions, but I found this one on Powell’s that looks good and cheap!
As for who would enjoy it, I couldn’t say. But the key to the collected works is that you can read one essay or ten, or read some poems, or not.
I’ve read most everything he wrote now, and some of the essays are definitely lesser but still quite good. I like to re-read Emerson for the quotable quotes and for the paragraph here or there that sums up some aspect of life or living or thinking or loving that hits the nail so precisely on the head that it could not possibly be improved, ever.
I would suggest everyone read one of the famous essays like Self-Reliance or Nature or Friendship. Then, if a particular person doesn’t care to read more, they can donate the cheap paperback edition to the local library, so some wild-eyed teenager like I was can find a copy!
Thanks blueneck. I’m actually off to book group now. But I think your idea of picking and choosing essays to read is maybe a good one.
Tonight we’re discussing “Chalice and the Blade” by Rianne Eisler. Should be a great discussion.
Here’s the Modern Library collection from amazon. New for 10 bucks.