Update [2005-5-13 19:27:2 by susanhbu]: IMPORTANT NUKE OPTION info in the comments! Rapid response stuff!
+ PBS’s NOW Tonight: “Coming Home: The Hidden Wounds of War” (PTSD and Veterans’ Resources) (Schedule)
+ Should this Administration be lecturing others on the purity of democracy? That’s the hot topic on Bill Maher tonight on HBO. HBO actually has a poll (!) on the question (results are currently running 94% to 6% No/Yes). Guests: Former NBA star Charles Barkley, Al Franken, reporter Liz Marlantes and Gore Vidal (yes!) From last week:
ANDREW SULLIVAN: And then you pay by credit card, right?
MAHER: Yeah, that’s right. If you’re this much of a control freak about coffee, you must be really unbearable when it comes to something important like…a Danish. … More below:
More from last week‘s New Rules:
New Rule: [insert photo of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes] Dating a self-proclaimed “26-year-old virgin” is probably not the best way to stifle the gay rumors. You’re a big star. You can have any woman you want, and you pick the one actress in town who doesn’t put out? I thought Scientology was supposed to clear your mind.
New Rule: Your hamburger can’t be bigger than your ass. Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub in Clearfield, Pennsylvania, is offering a new burger that weighs 15 pounds! One sign your portions may be too large: if one of the health risks is a back injury.
And finally, New Rule: Don’t say a woman is crazy just because she runs away from her wedding. She’s crazy if she wants to spend the rest of her life servicing this goober. Now, last week when I heard that a young bride-to-be had gone missing on a jog days before her wedding, I had the same thought everyone else did: Man, that Scott Peterson is good!
Now, Americans this week have acted like the so-called “runaway bride” is crazy for skipping town rather than marrying a Sunday school teacher in Duluth, Georgia. Ah, yes, the good life: the bake sales, the prayer meetings, the abortion protests, who could just walk away from all that? How come when the girl from “Titanic” ditches her fiance, it’s the greatest romance of all time, but when Jennifer Wilbanks does it, she’s a “criminal loon with a case of temporary insanity”?
Temporany sanity is more like it. She was staring down the barrel of 14 bridesmaids and 600 guests in the Georgia heat watching a Baptist in a blue suit sanctify her sex life with Welch’s grape juice and a reading from The Purpose-Driven Life. Suddenly, Greyhound to Vegas looked pretty good!
Jennifer, I applaud your rugged individualism. You eloped with yourself. And to Vegas! Baby, that’s money! I mean, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Whereas, the woman who marries in Georgia…stays in Georgia.
Jen, you’re a free spirit, I can tell. Something inside you snapped and rebelled at the idea of living in a persistent vegetative state. Which is why tonight I’d like to offer you an open invitation to come on out here. We’ll even send you the $118 bus fare. First class, right behind the driver. Come on! Come on all the way over to the dark side. You can stay in my hot tub until you get back on your feet.
You’re crazy and you don’t care about anyone’s feelings but your own. You belong in Hollywood! You’re a reality show waiting to happen! Plus, there’s a lot of eligible bachelors here. Pat O’Brien’s available. I can introduce you. Plus, I’ve got some stuff that you can smoke that might alleviate some of that pressure behind your eyeballs.
And one more thing. Don’t worry about that fiance of yours. Believe me, by the time I’m finished with you, he won’t want you back.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!
All right, that is our show. I want to thank my guest, former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, Bernie Sanders, Andrew Sullivan, Prime Minister Kim Campbell and Michael McKean. Good night, folks! Good job. Thank you.
NEW RULE: Keep your religion out of my kitchen.
From The Guardian: Man does not live on bread alone, but Americans have become increasingly reliant on doughy carbohydrates in their diet. Now many in a rapidly expanding country are asking: “What Would Jesus Eat?” … Other bestsellers include The Maker’s Diet, The Hallelujah Diet and Body by God. For the persistently overweight, they hold the promise of spiritual and bodily redemption.
Don Colbert, a Florida doctor and author of What Would Jesus Eat?, portrays his book as a way of putting some backbone into weak-willed believers.
“They’re letting the flesh rule them and they’re eating anything they want,” he told the Guardian. “We’re making them accountable. Many people will not eat the right kinds of food unless they’re held accountable and before they put something in their mouths ask: ‘Would Jesus eat this?'”
Dr Colbert said Jesus ate “whole grains, fresh fruits, seeds and nuts, rather than processed food”. His book has recipes for Middle Eastern dishes such as hummus.
A delicious food made by PROCESSING seeds and adding oil.
I hope these folks don’t run off and emulate the New Testament story of eating unrefrigerated fish on a nice hot day.
unfortunately, for arcane “Canadian content” reasons our TV station selection is quite limited.
Most of the best shows on TV are on HBO and it pains me to have to wait months sometimes for them to hit Cdn TV (although when they do they are usually on broadcast TV and without any censorship! The Sopranos at 10pm swearing and all!)
Mea Culpa — I actually love the Cdn content rules when they ban Faux news et al from poisoning our airwaves (although recently allowed in on speciality pay channels)… yeah, I’m not always consistent!
Bill Maher hasn’t made it up here yet though, perhaps I’ll petition someone…
It looks like we’re going to be paying for George W.’s Iraqi adventure for a long time. Veterans returning afraid of the dark, afraid of road-kill, afraid of being stuck in traffic – and all for what?
For a “commander-in-chief” who has never heard a shot fired in anger. Whether he was hiding in Alabama during Vietnam or in an underground bunker in Nebraska on 9/11/01, George W. Bush has always managed to be where the action isn’t. Perhaps one day these returning veterans will realize Bush is all hat and no cattle.
NEW RULE: Matt Drudge: Don’t link stories that force the provider site to remove the story!
Drudge links this story:
The Ageless Girl: She’s 12-years-old but looks like a baby…
The link takes you to Pittsburghchannel.com, which posted:
Article Not Available
The story you are trying to view is no longer available through this Web site.
NEW RULE: Be careful where you shop for expensive shoes if you’re the Majority Leader:
U.S. Senator Bill Frist got more than he bargained for when he stopped off to buy shoes in D-C.
And we have the pictures to prove it.
Frist was buying pricey shoes beneath the offices of Americans United to Protect Social Security, and as you can imagine, protestors were quick to pounce. 40 to 50 people demonstrated against Frist’s support for President Bush’s plan to privatize Social Security and — according to the group — slash benefits for middle-class families.
A spokesperson for Senator First responded by saying “…despite the protesters’ claims, the President’s plan does not cut benefits.
Perhaps the protesters would do better to pay attention to the facts than Senator Frist’s shoes.”
On a side note, the Senator received a parking ticket because his SUV was illegally parked.
WMCTV
Sent to me by Susan T in Michigan.
YOU HEEL!
NEW RULE, you heel! Don’t try the nuclear option unless you’re prepared for this:
Rather than the usual Insurgent Campaign stuff today we speak of things as important and perhaps, right now, MORE important.
The Republicans may try their Nuclear Option in the Senate next week. That would allow them to break any filabuster or disallow one with just 51 votes. It would END fairness in the Senate. We all know this fact. So how can you respond and be effective…instantly?
Listen here and sign up for the New Instant Nationwide Response System by Text Message on Your Cel Phone!
“A New Era of Grassroots Activism is Born: We will bury them in a Tidewave of Grassroots Response!” (7 mins)
LISTEN
— I put it in my RSS Feed thingie, and it starts playing!
— HE IS GREAT! LISTEN!
http://www.pfaw.org
probably left the motor running too.
It couldn’t happen to a nicer cat-torturer.
For those who did not see this evening’s show I am sorry. But, hopefully this will help.
We have posted two sections of Real Time from this evening here.
New rules will be posted tomorrow.
Come on over and visit DEMBloggers
you need something about Michael Jackson somewhere in here.