If “they” hate me for my freedom, if that is really true, then “they” hate me for who I am and how I feel today. I will go out there into the big wide world and find out “who” really hates me for my freedom!
It has been a long two years. I have done so many things to attempt to make myself feel better too about Iraq and war and dead soldiers and scarred souls coming home. I shut the door of my home on the world because I couldn’t have endured the scorn and name calling. I horded our money to buy our dream home when he came back to make it “worth” what we went through but he got hurt over there. Death and killing never fixed anything and I suppose that is why we aren’t suppose to do it because it breaks us on the inside. A cool house can’t fix a broken sensory system or the broken spirit and heart of the wrongly used and justifiably abused American soldier, but he will learn from it and be a better more compassionate loving person because of it! I suppose Bush will try to take credit for that too in the end! He has accomplished nothing of his own but murder and mayhem and he has zero PROOF that fighting anybody over there has meant we haven’t had to fight them here and it didn’t really seem to help Great Britain now did it? It was my husband’s choice to grow beyond the pain and stop planting his head into the middle of walls and stop verbally tearing apart the people who love him, but I’m sure Bush will attempt to take credit for it somehow.
Today I pack and prepare to be truly free and express my freedom! Today I can really feel myself breathing and it feels marvelous! I’m not holding my breath today afraid that someone will stomp me if I do something that they don’t like and call me a traitor or Unamerican, I know deep down inside that I am nothing of the sort and I fear no evil for thou art with me!
Today I am finally free. There is a spring to my step and a swing to my hair and I find myself once again fully alive among the living. Casey is dead. It makes me sad but I am alive and I need to act. That is what the living do! And we learn our lessons in this life and share our love and our learning. I am so rich today…….wealthy beyond expression. I am so alive!
My heart is with you.
Go remind “them” how much we love our soldiers. And, how much we want every single one of them to come home safe and sound.
Godspeed.
We will!
Hey, Tracy and Brinna,
I just got an email from TrueMajorityACTION.org with Cindy’s story, asking for donations toward $50,000 to keep military mothers on Bush’s trail all summer.
Reinforcements are on the way.
BADASS!!!
Would you mind sharing the email here so that I can print out a copy and take it to Cindy?
I can’t figure out what the return email address is, but True Majority is here. The action thing doesn’t show up on the main page, so I’ll look again when I have time later.
The subject line is: “Why did my son die?” Help Soldier’s Mother Spread Her Story.
Here’s the text:
It’s the kicker that I like:
Yeah.
is what nobility and sacrifice are really about — people making the brave attempt to be good and to do good.
Drive safely.
If you need money, ask us for it — I’m sure I am among the many here who would be happy to help you two pay for this trip.
It doesn’t feel like noble sacrifice to me. It feels like food for my soul. It feels very natural and very healing.
why wanting to be good and do good is “food for your soul” and the answer should tell you why I think this is a noble action.
OTOH, I’m always terrible at taking compliments so I’m certainly not going to pick on you about it.
Thank you, AndiF, but many kudos, I think, have to go to our husbands for being brave and supportive enough to send us off with their love, keeping the home fires burning and the kiddos safe, and being willing to let us put ourselves in harm’s way (however small a possiblity that might be) for something we believe in. They deserve as much, if not more, of the credit than we do.
And, don’t worry, we will ask, if we need it! 😉 Thanks again!
The support of your husbands has been really touching and uplifting… that love and courage is so rare…. here’s to them !!
Thanks, suskind…and I really want you to change your sig line, it sounds too much like you are saying that you’re not a great writer….and well, I know that to be false!
and packing. I just can’t believe how incredibly happy I am at this moment. It is gift. Now I understand how Cindy is out there in this heat and still positive and alive and well……after going through this war and losing so much this is so right she has plenty of endorphins feeding her mind, body, and soul! I think driving is going to be a breeze for me.
I feel the same way, hon! The rain has stopped here in Austin and the sun is out, but it is at least 10 degrees cooler than yesterday, still humid but there an incredible breeze — something new blowing in.
I just got off the phone with John (I don’t really know who he is, but he’s an organizer on his way back down from Dallas and he has his cell # listed — the phone at the Peace House should be back and working this afternoon — it has been out of order since early yesterday) ANYway, he said they need tents and tarps and lawnchairs, so if you have a few extra to pack…I went and dug ours out of the garage already! 😉
We’ve got 9 bottles of water freezing in the freezer, I am printing out suskind’s message to Cindy and various and sundry contact numbers, Texas laws, etc. I can’t wait until you get here Tracy!! I literally bouncing off of the walls!
As always you are the bomb. Getting the low down! We have tents. When my husband gets home he will change the oil in the car (I told him that I could wait for that) and I will load the tents. Nobody else going and it is a small wagon so “stuff” I can bring! I went and had lunch with my son, 2nd day of Kindergarten, and he had a meltdown…..in fact I almost brought down the whole house. We were snuggling after lunch and all the kids are tired, one little guy looks at us and says, “I just want my mom” and then a little girl says softly beside him “I just want Courtney.” I don’t know who Courtney is but I just about had the whole Kindergarten truant.
I am so proud of the two of you I am near bursting! What an inspiration you are…I hope others will be inspired to do something like you to are.
If either of you while out of contact wants to phone in reports to me I will be happy to do so, email me.
Yes, please! Just in case we can’t get my laptop to work with Tracy’s phone — going to email you right now!
Thank you for volunteering. I had hoped that someone would. I have a digital camera and so does Brinnainne. If it is possible to email photos to you we will. Brinnainne and spouse seem to be these computer wizards. If all else fails though at least the cell won’t and we can call in things that may be happening as they happen. I know that some people on Kos are going or have been and are going back this weekend. God, finally I can do SOMETHING that feels like it matters. There is a lawyer there, hopefully press if we get arrested so nobody just gets themselves disappeared to Gitmo……..one person hacked on me on Kos about getting arrested as a poor way of “doing” something, it didn’t turn out to be a poor way of handling things in the 60’s when America was being drug into much the same boat as this one is. If Iraq hadn’t been a part of my immediate life I would have observed all of this from afar as I did the first Gulf War. These lies visited my house personally though and these lies stole from me personally. It isn’t spin, it isn’t an unreported news story, it isn’t opinion, IT HAS BEEN MY LIFE! I hope more military spouses feel compelled to step forward and begin to talk about what this war has cost the family’s involved!
You are absolutely going in the right direction and yes it did work in the 60’s and 70’s and it did work many other times and this country would never had even advanced to this level of ‘incompetency’ had not our forefathers stood up!!!!!!
Think what it would be like if no one had ever taken a stand..
It worked in the stopping of nuclear power plants being built until Mr. Bush got in…..
I think military wives should be the first to stand up, I cannot stand to hear the insipid, “It’s a good cause.” and ‘noble’, yeah right!
Military families period! This is all bullcrap and we all know it! We just can’t sit by and let the big guys get away with this…
Don’t know if this helps but good luck to both of you!
Waco (24 miles from Crawford)
Free wifi Texs Hotspots
Common Grounds – 1123 South 8th Street – (254) 757-2957
McAlister’s Deli – 812 S. 6th Street – 254-296-0380
McAlister’s Deli – 1505 Hewitt Dr – 254-420-3353
Schlotzsky’s Deli – 900 North Valley Mills – (254) 741-9288
Schlotzsky’s Deli – 1508 IH 35 – (254) 714-0955
Slo-Poke’s Bar-B-Que & Sports Bar – 215 S. 2nd – (254)754-3474
Central Link Park and Surf – intersection of Hwys 31 and 84
Thanks, BP — Waco is a bit of a trek from where the vigil is, but if need be, nice to know they are there!
I cannot imagine the feeling that must be rushing through the two of you. It must be surging with a natural high that is beyond comprehension.
I wish I could capture that in a pill, mass produce it, drop it our of airplanes all over the world, and for once, finally, the WORLD would be free, from what has kept it bound.
My prayers have been said for you, and the spirits are watching over you two.
Like I said, ANYTHING you need, let me know..
peace be with you….
IP — I feel even better now — thank you!
You are so right too, the feeling is almost impossible to describe but it if we could all feel it: the connectedness to all others, the being a part of something that is bigger than our everyday concerns, hope for the future, of power to make a difference…..
Oh, I would help you put it into the water supply, oh, yes I would! 😉
I would sometimes get this feeling when I was teaching and reached a particular student, I get it often when I look at my sons, there are many differnt occcasions that have engendered similar feelings — this is unique though for a myriad of reasons that I cannot express right now.
Thank you for carrying the banner for those of us too far away.
Go in health. Go in safety. Go in peace.
Prayers and blessings, comin’ at ya.
Namaste.
Go in righteousness. Stay in peace. Return in victory.
Hello to both of you and stay cool-in more ways than one and safe. I mentioned yesterday that I so wish I could be going and am feeling extremely caged up that I have to just sit here. And no of no way I can be of any help…I don’t even a cell phone for any kind of contact if needed(and I’m on the computer usually some 9 hours a day so no one can ever call me).
I guess I’m not making a lot of sense just feeling frustrated.
Again take care and I will be thinking of both of you…and thank you.
Shirl has a free program that allows you to receive phone calls while on the internet on a dial up. I will ask her to post here!!!!
to me. Chocolate has told me that disabilities are a problem too, and since having a disabled son I am a huge advocate for the disabled. Having such a program will make the lives of some of the disabled, living on very small fixed incomes, a bit easier.
Well you have inspired me to continue with my ‘Cooking Cheap’ diaries, and adding Living Cheap with hope and Love, so look for those diaries on my site when you come back from your grand adventure!!!!
As one who had to and continues to have to live ‘life on the cheap’ I have a lot of idea, that worked for me and we can actually build a book on my site and then make it available as an ebook…
I know others will have ideas to add…..
I hope you two will post the ‘Adventures of Brinnaine and Tracy’ on my site when you get back..another possible ebook…
That should be “Living LARGE with Hope and Love!!” and I have no doubt that there will be at leat a couple of installments of Tracy and Brinn’s Excellent Adventure! 😉 lololol
I like that “living large” and I will change my title to that!!!!
Oh I can just feel the excitment in the air with you two and by entension to all of us…We will be with you in spirit that’s for sure.
You know if I still ‘left the town I live in’ I would be on the trail with you both.
I am hoping some of the younger folks who read these pages will be inspired to join you.
If people could travel across the country to see Michael jackson at his trial then surely they could travel for this….
A big media ‘tadooo’ well I am not sure how to spell that, but gee how about a Shiavo sized crowd, and just follow him where ever he goes, Cindy could build the movement!!!!!All the way to Washington!!!
too of a book I have always wanted to write about single mom-hood, just little tricks and savers like:
PROBLEM: it’s just you and the kid and you HAVE to take a shower
SOLUTION: Transparent shower curtain — set the child in view and enjoy!
I used to put my oldest in his bassinet (a luandry basket, that another tip that woulod go in there) right outside the door — the steam was good for him too! When he got older, he jumped up in down in the door-hanging bouncies — you know the ones? — and we sang shower songs together!
Ok, that’s enough of that — back to loading up the car, but really, if I had had a book like that I wouldn’t have felt so all alone!
I love you all!
Well lets write that book together, all of us, it will all fit in and we can move it easily from writing to publication and selling it….As an individual or as a group.
Shirl and I have a lot of things lined up in the ‘hopper’ over on Village Blue, waiting to go when the time is right.
My favorite trick was always to take everyone swimming after dinner so they could skip the bath and fall asleep on the way home!
Parents tool me to Gulf of Mexico, at the bottom of the “hill” after we finished dinner on summer evenings. How bad was that? Glad you asked — gorgeous sunset, briny air, and relaxing swim.
Asleep in 3 minutes on returning home. Every child should be so fortunate.
but damn affordable. $4 a mo is the basic rate and $10 a month for expanded features.
Call Wave
You can try it free for 30 days to see if it works for you. I love it and don’t know how I ever got along without it. Certainly a lot cheaper than adding a second line. I had the basic for a long time, then switched to the extended features about a year or so ago.
Thanks for that link shirl.
Honor and Patriotism. By the time Tracy gets to Texas, she’ll be flying.
I’m not feeling too good right now. I’m going against my spirit. Everything in me says to go to Crawford. A way will open up when I’m supposed to go.
I’ll be in San Francisco for the march though. In a way, I march every damn day.
Gotta get calling Boxer and Conyers for Tracy.
Tried Googling and only came up with one 9/24; is there another one sooner? If it’s the 9/24, I’ll try to be there with camera in tow…
If it’s 9/24, I think we should have a contingent of BT folks at the DC march too. Live blogging from both coasts, anyone?
Yes the 9/24 🙂
Big grouup of us should go! 🙂
I just have to add this, I am so happy to see the change in your tone, both of you but most especially Tracy, I can hear the transformation you have gone through in your words, in view of your personal situation.
But both of you seem ‘on top of the world’ and that is what working for a ’cause’ and ‘taking action’ like you are, does for ones spirit.
Through you both, we can feel it too, so it is going back and forth and just building! Hurray!!!!!!and Applause!!!!!
Oh I have a fax hooked up to number I sent you Brin. so you can always fax if you have to!!!!
I am so excited for both of you. I’m looking forward to your reports, and wish I could go too!
Have a safe journey-
I ditto everything everyone else has said. If you need anything or money just let me know. I am with you in spirit. I want to give Cindy any support I can give. God bless all of you and my heart is with you in this endeaver.
This is the first I have heard of what is going on!!!!!!!! I have been way out of the loop for so long..:o( Let me know if I can do anything for you gals, please…….
You two are truly inspiring. I feel very proud of you both. Since I saw your other diary last night, I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out how the hell I could pull it off if I just up and flew out there from N.Y. I’m still working on it. If I go, there will be a price to pay for dumping responsibilities, but it’s beginning to feel like I will feel a heavier price if I don’t go. I have a transferable plane ticket at my disposal and it’s bugging the shit out of me. Is there a way to contact you after you get there in case I can figure this out?
This tribe rocks!
… the Crawford Peace House is probably the best sort of “rally point” — if you want we can leave a note for you or something?
Or email me at caiteclare@yahoo.com — I don’t have a cell phone but we can figure something out, ok?
Well….the closest I can get is Austin by plane and that’s 105 miles from Crawford and I can’t rent a car either. Anyone going from Austin? :O) :O) Dang. OK, on to plan B as soon as I figure out what plan B is :O)
OK, so tomorrow I will find out about getting a bus from Austin to Crawford or even Waco. Cool
You can come with us if you want to…when will you be here?
I can’t be there till sometime Friday night. You’re going sooner aren’t you?
And, I haven’t confirmed tix yet. Will do that tomorrow morning first thing. It’s short notice.
Yes we’re goin up today, but I am going to come back either tonight or early tomorrow. If you fly into Austin Friday night, I could give you a ride up there — most likely, you would need to find a ride back….I know there are a lot of Austin Code Pink people there…I will do what I can to help you out!
Alright and thank you. As soon as I have flight info, if they will even let me transfer them, I will post here and email you at the above address.
Peace
Ok Got a pretty solid time for arrival in Austin at 9:20pm Friday night. Looks like a go. Excellent!
You might want to contact CodePink. Good luck! 🙂
Good idea! I’m sure there are a bunch in Austin who will be going back and forth. Thanks Janet :O)
Peace
I’m your back-up, or front-up if you prefer. I can pick you up at the Austin airport, offer you a couch or an airbed on my apartment floor, and you can ride up with me on Saturday. I can get you there but no I offer no prior commitment about getting you back here.
Email me if interested and we can work out some better comm.
Next time I type to you guys I will be in that strange far away mist enshrouded land of TEXAS.
Angels be with you!!!
OK, Tracy and B – You’re doing what you need to do. Take the highs and the lows and meld them into a smooth steady state that you can sustain.
We’re staying right here behind you because we believe in you.