Update [2005-8-15 16:19:48 by BooMan]: zahner3 has joined us! He/she is our 2000th user!!
“Cyprus plane crash victims “frozen solid’.” That one creeped me out completely. Have you spotted any creepy, snarky, depressing, hilarious headlines?
Update [2005-8-15 16:19:48 by BooMan]: zahner3 has joined us! He/she is our 2000th user!!
“Cyprus plane crash victims “frozen solid’.” That one creeped me out completely. Have you spotted any creepy, snarky, depressing, hilarious headlines?
Open this and scroll down looking for article by Jerome, Susan, Soj, pastordan, and me.
WOW! I haven’t looked at that list in a long time … really don’t “hang” at DKos much anymore … that’s awfuly nice of him to do that. Must give him some earned MOJO.
This one from RawStory.com —
“Ex-Bank of China chief sentenced to death“
That’s WAY HARSH (“Clueless”).
USA To Iran: We Will When You Stop Acting Like One
From one of my personal, local favorites, the Michigan Every Three Weekly (an Onion-like satire paper spoofing the U of M student paper, the Michigan Daily).
Also, the Sports headline: God Requests He No Longer Be Affiliated With Notre Dame Athletics
That is a great paper!
My favorite headline from that site:
Student Not Yet Masturbated to Face Book Profile.
I love it 🙂
Unfortunately they haven’t had a new issue since the end of March (due to school not being in session) but I’m looking forward to the beginning of the semester issue that should be out in the next month or two.
This is comedy
I was stunned at Victoria Beckham’s claim that she’s never read a book.
And please, you asked for these so do not question how I found this!
omg ..
The only small consolation in that was that the gossip columnist and the commenters all seemed to be appalled by it, too, so there’s evidently SOME sanity left in the world.
But i just looked at that page and wondered to myself, “Will any of the men here who see that photo even CARE that she’s never read a book?!”
(So hoping so.)
I’m more concerned that it looks like she’s never consumed a meal.
Exactly. It used to be that I just thought my version of who was attractive was different from the media’s. Now they’re just out and out pretending people look wonderful who are clearly sick and maimed by plastic surgery.
yeah, exactly. that was my first thought.
(couldn’t resist the snark down below though)
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Whipped cream for Breakfast! Dutch treat.
Served to none other than < … >
<click photo for true identity>
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what headline?
skinny is creeping me out. Damn, I am wondering like Booman, if she eats more than two cornflakes and three greenbeans and six kernels of corn for her three meals each day.
You may think she looks skinny now but she’s GAINED(thanks to my entertainment magazines I’m up on all the cheezy gossip) weight..and no I’m not kidding. And to add to what some others have mentioned …dam I forgot about the kids also…so she never reads to them…to busy again I guess..good god.
Well that’s a start of a food pyramid anyway ghost or maybe we shouldn’t use pyramid for that diet maybe it should be minus food pyramid.
Goodnight Moon isn’t much of a tome, word-wise. Surely she could manage that? Wonder if she knows where the mouse is.
I absolutely can’t comprehend that statement..think about it for a minute. I mean how can you not have at least picked up one book in your entire life and if not read it at least skimmed through it? No matter how freaken busy you are.
And the woman has CHILDREN, for pete’s sake. … what kind of example is she? Don’t they have three kids now?
Oh, jeez — I hadn’t even remembered they had kids! Those poor children.
But I bet they have GREAT clothes!
</snark>
… even George Bush was curious enough to have read My Pet Goat.
Yeah, he was so taken with it the he couldn’t put it down!
One of my relatives told me the same thing recently. He’s never read an entire book, read just enough to get by.
He’s a senior in college.
Creepy? Nah, but oftentimes hilarious at Fark.com
This is strange … that Cyprus crash story I linked has changed to this:
Nov. 10, 2004
I’m going to wake up to the Kerry presidency. Any minute now. Annnny minute. Come on self, wake up…
Can multitasking be taken too far?
Jennifer Connelly loves reading `n’ `shopping’ while having sex!
The story is even better:
London: Actress Jennifer Connelly reportedly likes reading books,chatting on the phone, and internet-shopping while having sex with actor husband Paul Bettany.
“I do like to read a book while having sex. And talk on the phone. You can get so much done. If the room’s dark enough, I like to do some online shopping,” Femalefirst quoted Connelly as saying.
Well I’m thinking that if she keeps up this multitasking she won’t be having much more sex with hubby.
If I were him, I would have already taken the hint!
What is the matter with that woman?She can’t do laundry too and change diapers? Shame.</snark>
For some diabolical reason I have yet to fully fathom, Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post seems to be positioning itself to support Hilary Clinton’s re-election next year. In only one week, the paper has run several unflattering and potentially damaging headlines regarding one of the GOP contenders, Jeanine Pirro. Today’s installment:
“LOVE CHILD PEACE BID”
This relates to the illegitimate child of Pirro’s husband, who’s also a convicted felon. If the Post has changed the front page, the story can be found here.
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Update [2005-8-15 16:19:48 by BooMan]: zahner3 has joined us!
He/she is our 2000th user!!
SURPRISE ME – YOU DID IT AGAIN!
● ● CONGRATULATIONS ● ●
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Hello zahner3 and welcome aboard!
Welcome aboard… Grab yourself a free beer (they’re in the back of YOUR fridge! 🙂 and get comfortable…
This is a great community.
Newsweek headline due out next week:
The picture that shares the headline shows the real irony of the headline as he spends his vacation ignoring Cindy Sheehan and her noble cause.
How horrible; how manipulative. The man is beyond evil. The war is going badly so let’s focus on W’s emotional needs. After all, the el presidente is the most important person on the planet.
What a shameless craven media report. Beyond craven.
To take time from the investigation of the outing of an intelligence agent to paint Bush as a sensitive caring soul to whom it never occurred that he could hurt someone. Gee? War? Hurtsomebody? oh gosh.
The obvious thing about Bush, with his nicknames, and power games, is that the man is MEAN. A person who enjoys power for the pain it can cause. To do see this cover of what a sweetie he is makes me shudder.
The article starts off pretty good in that it mentions people that want to bitch about their kids being killed or maimed… BUT it takes a propoganda turn showing how he can be like a “dad” or a “big brother” to these “poor helpless sobbing women”.
It ends up sounding like a Dobson/Santorum view of how a real man can make it all better.
One of these women should slap bush silly… Give him a new pretzel memory.
I was in college, back in the early 1990s, the Chicago Tribune ran this headline: Relatives of Air Crash Victims Unhappy with Safety.
Welcome zahner3!
Vewy cweeepy:
Ugliest’ Dog Is a Thing of Beauty to His Owner.”
– LA Times
Yikes.
Someone alert Troma – surely Toxie could use a dog in the fifth installment?
http://www.beyondsatire.us/
with such entries as:
Supporters of the Geneva Convention are “terror allies”
and
Lawrence Summers’ 1991 memo, as chief economist at the World Bank, arguing that “the economic logic behind dumping a load of toxic waste in the lowest wage country is impeccable”.
It is a bit of insanity in an insane world.
Yes, pee
Brings a whole new meaning to porta-potty.
… out of previously used aluminum foil.
It’s not exactly a headline; my gmail just informed me of this recycling possibility!
Clever headlines are the best, and I remember a good one.
Some years ago, a group in the SF Bay Area — a fairly benign group by anyone’s lights — had received a permit to march across the Bay Bridge one Sunday morning.
There was a newspaper article in the Contra-Costa Times about people who were complaining against this, demanding that the permit be revoked because of the disruption to cross-bay traffic it would cause.
The headline to that article?
“Troubled Over Bridge Walkers”
I figure that the writer of that headline still thinks back on that with some pride. And may she/he do so for many days to come.
Years ago, in my reporter days, I covered a press conference about a new ATM system. Big yawner, but it was a slow news day.
So that evening, when the curmudgeonly anchor for the local TV news intoned, “Now there’s an easier way to get your money out of the bank,” I thought I knew what was coming.
But there was a mixup with the tape, and what followed was several seconds of security camera tape of a bank robbery in progress–guy in a ski mask waving a gun.
Easier way to get your money out of the bank, indeed!
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Airport authorities lost radio contact with the plane roughly 10 minutes later, when the plane was in the area of Machiques in the western state of Zulia, he said.
“Residents in the area said they heard an explosion,” Paz said. “Air rescue teams are traveling to the area right now by air and by land.”
The plane had been chartered for tourists, and 152 passengers were listed on the flight plan, Paz said. It wasn’t immediately clear how many crew members accompanied them.
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<click pic for latest news>
A Macdonald Douglas MD80 plane. A West Caribbean Airways airliner travelling from Panama with 152 passengers and crew crashed today in a mountainous region near Venezuela’s border with Colombia after suffering engine failure.
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