New Rule: Bush’s August vacation must be spent on a cot at the National Security Agency pouring over terrorist intercepts and satellite imagery of Caribbean weather patterns.
Add your own new rule below.
About The Author
BooMan
Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
Members of Congress must vote in 95% of all votes taken on the floor or be automatically removed from office.
For every 10 votes missed without valid excuse (such as illness), Congress members would be subject to a fine equivalent to 10% of their salary; money to go to appropriate non-partisan, non-religious charity. Excessive unexcused absences subject Congress members to immediate removal from office.
New Rule #2: Congressperson must be able to explain why they voted the way they did; if they don’t understand a bill, then abstain (I can accept that; I often leave blank propositions I can’t figure out…).
Pseudo-Aristocrat Queen Mother Barbara Bush has to spend a month in the Houston Astrodome to atone for her supercillious rascist behavior.
Hubby George I must house 4 New Orlean’s evacuee families in the family mansion in Kennebunkport.
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Equal opportunity in the NOLA Superdome.
I understand some clean-up needs to be done – she could join for let’s say 24 hours – a day and a night!
Of course for such a short period of time, no meals and water is permitted. There are no buses, so perhaps some swimming is required in Crescent city.
Karl can spin this event in a Cold War stint!
1966 One of the rare occasions when China's Chairman Mao Tse-tung allowed photo ops were his swim-for-health appearances in the Yangtze River. AP photo▼ ▼ ▼
Yes! There’s nothing like a bracing swim after a hard day’s labor serving one’s subjects.
now that we can see beyond the fog, I think he needs to be place on a cot in the next hurricane developing in the gulf. or even in Fl. some place all by himself…well, maybe the whole fo the administration…include fema and rummy and condi and let them all suffer…and I mean suffer..promise water and food, but then none come…yes turn about fair play…we can be going to broadway shows and shop and play golf and just plain watch tv and declare we never knew about their plite. yes we can figure something out I am very sure of that!
All Bushites over 39 must spend one week in the Convention center with no food or water. All Bushites between the ages of 18 and 39 years of age must spend one year in Iraq in active duty army fighting insurgents.
The Oval Room at the WH should always be filled by 1 foot of effluent from the West Wing toilets, as a reminder of a basic fact of humanity.
It also reminds me of a joke about a man who went to hell and was offered the choice of three rooms, which he could reject in turn but not go back.
The first room had everyone standing red-faced on their heads on cushions. “Oh no, I couldn’t take that”. The 2nd room, also rejected, had everyone standing on their heads on concrete.
But he liked the third room where everyone was sitting on benches drinking tea, even though the floor was 1 foot deep in effluent. He was just about to get his tea when the devil’s assistant came round and shouted “All right you lot, tea-break’s over – back on your heads”
about the new resident of Hell who was to choose which room he would be consigned to by listening at the closed doors of each. For a very long time he heard nothing but screams of anguish, but finally at one door he heard just a soft murmuring.
“This one,” he said, and instantly the door was opened and he was thrown in.
He found himself up to his lower lip in raw sewage, and could finally hear what those around him were saying ever so softly.
“Don’t make waves . . . don’t make waves . . . don’t make waves . . .”
was – “it’s sufferable in here until the devil comes by in his speedboat”
may be sworn in prior to passing basic high school level science and financial literacy tests.
Eh? Why limit it to conservatives? Gods know that there’s a bunch of Dems that would’ve been deservedly weeded out by that. (Not to mention Greens, Libs, etc.) Apply it universally.
are not fundamentally dedicated to eradicating science and knowledge. On our side it’s chance–on their side it’s purpose.
I don’t give a fuck whether a politician’s ignorance is intentional or not. I don’t fuckin’ want them and their ignorance in a position of power. Hell, if I had to choose between an ignorant Dem and a knowledgable Repub, I’d vote Repub. (And please resist any temptation to say that there’s no such thing as a knowledgable Repub. Really. That would be lame.)
New Rule:
People that call themselves Conservatives must actually conserve.
Bill Maher is the king of NEW RULES:
All right. New Rule: If you’re going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what’s playing on the other screens. Let’s remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn’t good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: Oil companies must stop with the advertisements implying they’re friends of the environment. “At ExxonMobil, we care about a thriving wildlife.” Please, the only thing an oil executive has in common with a seagull is that they would both steal French fries from a baby.
And speaking of babies, New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to know in months. “27 Months.” “He’s two,” will do just fine. He’s not a cheese. And I didn’t care in the first place.
New Rule: Stop showing me pictures of celebrities I used to think were hot without their makeup on. If Tara Reid wanted us to see what she looks like first thing in the morning, she’d pass out face up.
And finally, New Rule: Not to burst your bubble, but all bubbles burst! I don’t want to say real estate is overpriced these days, but I had a refrigerator delivered this morning, and a homeless guy offered me three million for the box! Now, what is so distressing about this situation is that we just went through a bubble-bursting trauma with the dot-com crash. And here we are just five years later with real estate prices that could aptly be compared to Courtney Love: irrationally high and about to collapse.
The President and First Lady must walk the few blocks from the White House to SE Washington, DC at least once a month, lest they forget who they are in office to serve.
They must fight through the tourists, the surbanites, the homeless. They must stop to talk to the woman whoh lives across from the White House in Lafayette (sp?) Park. They must walk by the FAA building so they don’t forget the federal employees who make the government run.
Finally, they must spend at least 15 minutes in SE, so they can see what it’s like to be poor.
When they get home, they can get back to work making this country a better place to live.
What new rule could apply here?
New Rule;
We must remind ourselves everyday that we are not as civilized as a species as we like to imagine we are!
Any elected official who lies to the public must undergo cosmetic surgery to enlarge his/her nose.
That all depends on your definition of lie!
The new White House chef and his entire pantry transferred to the Astrodome to be exchanged with an equivalent weight of MRE’s.
The new White House chef is a woman, first ever.
There was a nice profile on her a few weeks back.
That brings up my other rule – replace every man in the executive branch with a woman. And now a rendition of a favorite song:
If I were King of the Forest, Not queen, not duke, not prince.
My regal robes of the forest, would be satin, not cotton, not chintz.
I’d command each thing, be it fish or fowl.
With a woof and a woof and a royal growl – woof.
As I’d click my heel, all the trees would kneel.
And the mountains bow and the bulls kowtow.
And the sparrow would take wing – If I – If I – were King!
Each rabbit would show respect to me. The chipmunks genuflect to me.
Though my tail would lash, I would show compash
For every underling!
If I – If I – were King!
Just King!
Monarch of all I survey — Mo–na-a-a–a-arch Of all I survey!
Could it be all this changing of rules,
Is why we’re all surrounded by fools?
Is it not better to say,
That we’ll just simply obey,
The rules in place, and not act like we’re tools?
New Rule:
Administration officials and lifetime judicial appointees must actually have several years experience in the field their appointed job is in.
New Rule:
bush, cheney, card, rice, chertoff, and brown must all personally clean and rebuild New Orleans 9th ward better then it was before and the national guard must ensure that those that lived there before are the first one’s allowed to live there afterward
All – ALL politicians must spend the rest of their lives in sewage up to their necks and no way to swim out and cry about all that damm big guvment that didnt save them. (bitter laughter)
Every first day of the month is free taco lunch day for America, paid for by beltway lobbyists…
New Rule: “Who you’d rather have a beer with” shall henceforth not be considered a valid criterion when weighing candidates to local, state, or federal office.
NEW RULE: Bush, Cheney, Rice, Chertoff and Brownie must personally place each of these bodies in zippered containers:
Found that via The Daou Report
NEW RULE: MSNBC’s Norah McDonnell must wash all of the bathrooms in the Convention Center and Superdome.
– Media Matters, with VIDEO
AFter her lavoratory penance at the convention center and the superdome, Miss Norah must:
his whole term has been one huge crisis…
Cheney needs one of those Martha Stewart ankle bracelets so we don’t lose track of him…
You anticipated me exactly, except I would add that the real time results of the ankle bracelet monitor Cheney wears will be posted on the Internet, on a public website dedicated to this purpose.
From the master of the genre Bill Maher.
Enjoy
Peace
present their G.E.D. up front before being appointed to any position within the government. We will no longer just take their word for it!
New Rule: Air Force One must fill up at the nearest CitCo station.
Sleep in the same space with the bodies from the disaster. Ane night per body.
Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Condi, and of course Chertoff and Brown
Every government official shall be subject to recall at any time, by a simple majority of his/her constituants.
If we were to draft a new constitution today, that would need to be line one.