[From the diaries by susanhu. So practical, FEMA could have written it.]
With the hurricane season not even quite half over, it’s possible that another catastrophic storm might hit the Gulf Coast area.
From Ready.gov, below are some tips on survival:
Before a predicted storm hits, check that you have proper skin color.
If you see exploding oil company profits ahead, pull over immediately. Do not investigate.
Don’t scream for help. No one gives a fuck.
If your throat is parched from lack of water, think warm thoughts of colorful Mardi Gras. Remember – find a happy place!
Do not steal food from stores. Free food will be available and plentiful.
Communication devices are for white people only.
Do not burn property in your neighborhood. The government will do this for you.
As you grow weaker and more exhausted, assume a fetal position. Cry.
Avoid breathing in the stench of your rotting neighbors.
Hey you, boy! Where do you think you’re going? Do not attempt egress into white neighborhoods.
Do not hide from the police inside your home. They love you and are here to help you.
If you should escape to higher ground, don’t get comfortable. They really don’t want you.
If you are the President of the United States, take shelter until disastrous political fallout ceases…
…stare blankly, then wash your hands.
I feel much better now…that I’ve wiped the tears of laughter out of my eyes and am no longer giggling hysterically…(how did I miss this earlier???)
R.E.A.D.Y.G.O.V
Rarely Equal And Democratic… Your GOVerment.
or ?
Republicans Exterminate And Destroy You
Some people were insured for “hurricane damage” but after the flood swept through their property, they are unable to collect insurance because, it is no longer “hurricane damage.” It is now “flood damage.” So sorry, the insurance company says, you were not insured for flood damage.
What kind of robots run those companies?
Sybil, did you see that lovely, older black woman on TV last night — I forget which show now — who said that her insurance company told her that it was a flood, not a hurricane, so she’ll get nothing. Bastards.
I saw a headline today at the Chicago Sun-Times that it’s supposed to cost the insurance industry $175 billion. We’ll see. They’re probably just blubbering about that number to every Congressman in D.C.
I tried to laugh at this (and I really liked it), but, shit, ouch. It is all too true. Living in CA, I have heard how impossible it is to get earthquake insurance. The insurance companies were making buckets of money, but when Loma Prieta hit and they were forced to actually make good on their policies, all of a sudden, they were broke and used every trick in the book to get out of paying. Insurance companies only exist to take money…they will do or say anything to not actually pay out benefits.
.
Personal philosophy – strictly insure calamities you cannot afford, all other risks are a contribution to insurance company and broker. For the smaller coverage, best put money in your own savings account.
To pay out for damages, in the Netherlands the largest insurance companies have a philosophy to refuse in 99% of occasions. Stretch out with standard correspondence, delay tactics, legal mumble jumble until citizen dies or stresses out because of worries and financial break down.
Best to have a reliable broker, and in early stage when company delays, get assistance from an ombudsman or legal counsel. Applied counter measures to help a friend after a ski accident – whiplash – to receive very adequate benefit from Nationale Nederlanden.
I always say, the insurance company will never sell a few office floors to pay out just damages to their customers.
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I live in CA and my renter’s insurance (from GEICO) covers earthquake damage. That was an extra change but not much. Flooding coverage is also not included in the basic plan (and I did not opt for it since there are no rivers nearby and I live well above sea level).
Being a bit of a math-head, catastrophe theory (i.e. the statistics of rare events) are something I find sort of interesting. Its the bread and butter of the insurance industry (at least, when they are playing the game legitimately and not using political/legal trickery to stiff their customers).
On a “serious” note, though, as I pointed out to Catnip the other day, you can build a raft using duct tape, 2x4s and empty 2-liter pop bottles.
After all, if we rely on our own ingenuity for survival, it’s not only the ‘Murkan Way, it also doesn’t cost Bushco a goddamn penny.
Also- ascertain that you are not a poor person on the ‘wrong’ side of town-otherwise- put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.
Nice one,NYCO!Pure snark.
Thanks for lightening up the moment!
I made an email out of this? I think there are some others who could use a laugh, and still others who could use a knock down from their perch.
Thanks, NYCO — either way, you made ME smile for a while.
sure, go ahead.