This is what I want to hear:
“With American sons in the field far away, with the American future under challenge right here at home, with our hopes and the world’s hopes for peace in the balance every day, I do not believe that I should devote and hour or a day of my time to any personal partisan causes. To continue to fight through the months ahead for my personal vindication would almost totally absorb the time and attention of both the President and the Congress in a period when our entire focus should be on the great issues of peace abroad and prosperity without inflation at home.
Therefore, I shall resign the Presidency effective at noon tomorrow.”
What do you want to hear?
Just that last part.
The rest of it, hough beautifully written, I wouldn’t believe a word of it coming out of his mouth.
it’s actually the beginning of LBJ’s and the end of Nixon’s resignation speeches.
Boo, you’re so cool!!
Have I told you that lately?
What do I want to hear?
“I’m resigning, effective, immediately.” GWB
“Following my resignation at noon tomorrow, I and my entire administration will preset ourselves to the federal prison, where we should be locked up until the end of our days for the evils we have perpetrated on this country. Our personal fortunes should be used to provide educaton and healthcare to those in need.”
all US Troops will withdrawal from Iraq, all FEMA officials and Homeland Security are reassigned, Rove is fired, my cabinet and I resign from office effective noon tomorrow.
“I’ve looked back on my administration’s record….and you know what?.. I ‘ve realy been an ass, haven’t I! SO sorry I resign…” Hangs head and shuffles off the world stage.
the Vice President, the Cabinet, as well as both houses of Congress and the Joint Chiefs of Staff of the Armed Forces, their commanders, and the executives of Bechtel, Halliburton, Exxon Mobil, Northrup-Grummond, Raytheon, General Dynamics, Blackwater, McDonnell-Douglas, Lockheed, and several other defense and energy companies, who will be accompanying me to the Hague immediately following this address.
As we speak, an international coalition is landing now in Washington to form an interim committee pending free and open elections. The coalition will be chaired by Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez-Frias, Marwan Barghouti, whom we have liberated from prison, Leonard Peltier, whom we also have liberated, and it is his country, after all. Aiding the coalition will be representatives from each major ethnic group in nations where US gunmen have operated during my term of office, including but not limited to Iraq, Afghanistan, Colombia, Syria, Iran and Haiti. Mr. Chavez has also arranged with Cuban President Fidel Castro do deploy over 3000 medical personnel, twice the original offer, to care for the victims of the latest atrocity for which I am responsible, and the repair of the New Orleans levee system has been turned over to the Dutch Engineering body as it should have been in the first place. The Netherlands will also assist Mr. Chavez in the immediate implementation of a health care system for all persons located in the United States, and all military personnel, US and otherwise, currently deployed in the crusade theatres will be re-assigned to the United States to begin a massive program of housing construction and infrastructure repair so that no person in the United States, whether displaced by a hurricane or the crimes of myself and my henchmen, will want for a home.
Good night, may God forgive me, and bless America.
any more, because the federal marshals are about to serve a warrant for our arrest and prosecution. The Supreme Court has ordered new elections to be held next month.
‘I have finished investigating myself and found that I really screwed up. I have recommended that I be charged with negligent homicide and will turn myself into appropriate authorities at noon tomorrow ‘
And I’m sorry for leaving pooh all over the White House and in fact the entire federal government, but Condi doesn’t give me enough potty breaks.
FEMA will clean it up, rest assured.
After looking back over the past few years, I’ve realized that everything I touch turns almost immediately to shit.
Therefore, I am resigning the Presidency.
In addition, I am taking over as head of the RNC, CEO of Fox News, and GM of the New York Yankees.
Now, watch this drive…
That’s so funny .. you could be a writer for The Daily Show!
<blush>
That may be the greatest compliment I’ve ever received đŸ™‚
‘cept for the Yankees part! Sheesh!
Booman!!! Did you hear what ejmw said about the Yanks?!
:o)
I was appalled. Did you see A-Rod’s shot tonight? It was a bomb.
Naw damnit, I missed it when the channel went out in the 4th. Did they win?
that I’m a Braves fan.
That means I’ve seen enough playoff failures to hate just about every other team. Marlins. Twins. Blue Jays. Padres. Cardinals. Diamondbacks. Giants.
And the Yankees. Ohhhh, the Yankees.
I do think though that in 10 years we’ll be seeing A-Rod or Andruw chasing or catching Hank Aaron. If they don’t fall victim to Griffey-like injuries, anyway.
No way! Get outta here! ;o)
Of course I know. Just playin that’s all ;o)
You know I had to defend the evil empire lol
“Upon further review, I now recognize that I have never been validly elected to this office. Thus, I will now yield the podium to the President of the United States, Al Gore.”
Ah, Raging Hippie….you had me at “never validly elected to office”
with Satan. He’s invited me to his domain. He’s gonna give me a tour. God told me to accept the invitation, and I’LL WORK HARD on bringing him around to Jesus.
I should be back on Sunday to pick up on the Katrina thing.
Satan has left Saddam for ME, ME, ME!
“My fellow Americans, I stand before you for the purpose of accepting responsibility for all the damage done to our great country in the name of my presidency. Reluctantly, I’ve nevertheless finally come to accept that I was not suited for the job of President.; I was simply unable to grasp the totality of the job and the deeper complexities of actually doing what was good for the country.
With all this in mind, I’ve decided to appoint General Wesley Clark as my surrogate to assume all presidential duties and authorities immediately. I appoint him because I now understand that VP Cheney is even more unsuitable that I to preside over the nation, as is house Speaker Dennis Hastert. Their ideological extremism cannot but inflict more damage on our beloved country.
I will not officially resign, for to do so will ignite the succession process and for the good of the country my administration has so grievously wronged, it is imperative that none of the key players in my administration remain in power.
I extend my heartfelt apologies to all Americans, and to the greater world at large. I’m hopeful that General Clark will be able to implement serious measures to restore dignity to the government and to repair the damage my tenure has visited upon the world.”
“Therefore, I shall resign the Presidency effective at noon tomorrow.”
Well, a girl can dream, can’t she?
What kind of a job is this when a guy can’t get a decent summer vacation? I’m outa here, but first I’m firing that dickhead Cheney, the truth is I never liked the guy. My dad insisted, but then he always liked my brother better.
This country needs leadership and they’re not going to get it from this Washington crowd. So I’m appointing a new v.p. who will become president as soon as Laura finishes packing my workout equipment. It was going to be Captain Kirk, but turns out he’s Canadian, and Picard’s English, so I’ve settled on Mr. Spock. Live long and prosper, America, and goodnight.
Laura had an abortion.
(snicker)
That horse is kicking him in the head! Perfect!
OH GAWD … help me … I’m laughing too hard … my tummy hurts.
You’re too funny. Go horsie go!
OMG! It’s a stallion! It’s, it’s … omg.
(Is that a fake palm tree?)
Wow, he’s just reading the speech to us…
Beats My Pet Goat..or does it?…
My Pet Goat probably had a point…I’m not sure this does.
Ummm … did you expect him to know what he was saying?
I think he’s made great progress in his reading skills, given his learning disabilities. Does he have teleprompter tutors?
I guess he only speaks with inflection when he talks about evildoers and staying the course and Jeebus and punishment…you know, the things he can relate to.
if there is a God…just one lightening bolt? Please?
My analysis of the speech so far is that half of it is shit that we all knew a full day before he was done playing guitar and eating cake, and the other half is a god damn FEMA brochure.
Is this a speech or an infomercial?
This is piss-poor, even for him. Did they change his dosage? Give him what they’ve been giving Laura?
That smirk says it all…
“Here I am, talking about the worst natural disaster in the HISTORY of my country, but I can’t wipe this smarmy smirk off my face. What the hell is wrong with me??”
Yep. It’s that old “Ha, if they really knew what I meant by entrpreneurship and ownership! Fools! I’m grinning at the thought of looting the US Treasury yet again, and paying these people slave wages!”
If he holds up an acne product, don’t call that number.
STOP IT! Have really sore tummy now … can’t eat ice cream.
(He did get animated when he talked about the construction part!)
Your wish sure sounds good to me!
Something like this:
“I’m firing my entire cabinet, appointing Noam Chomsky as vice president and resigning. I will then fly to The Hague where I will surrender myself to the International Criminal Court to be put on trial for crimes against humanity. But before I go, I’m signing one last executive order. And now Vice President Cheney will commit seppuku while singing ‘If I had a Hammer.’ Take it away Dick.”
Or words to that effect . . . .
“We care. Okay, now I’ve said it. Shut up.”
Wow, this sucks. I mean, this REALLY sucks. I predict Chris Matthews will call it one of the great speeches of our generation, though.
I’m not sure. He was actually quite critical of Bush at the tail end of Countdown.
Of course, he may have just been playing to Keith’s audience…
And do you think old Punkinhead Russert will beat him to it?
Yup. He’s such an ass-kisser … i’ve found, sadly, I can’t count on him ever to tell it like it is…. just how he thinks he’ll be perceived at the moment.
Matthews didn’t say it was one of the great speeches of our generation, but did compare it to an FDR speech. LOL
I just switched to plain ol’ NBC … not as nauseating as listening to Rita Cosby.
What about the Rich People’s Opportunity Zone?
Oh, forget it. That’s in DC.
What kind of crap homesteading act is that??
I think you answered your own question.
You’re hilarious tonight!
is it buttoned correctly? The right (his left) looks higher…
Those aren’t buttons. That’s velcro. He can’t deal with buttons. They’re too complex.
He has no neck. Especially in the beginning, he was so hunched over that he really looked like the shirt was swallowing him up. He looked very shifty.
John over at Americablog has a post up with a Yahoo photo that looks like the buttons don’t match up: link
Wait a minute there…
for several years now.
oh gosh, you guys, what did you really expect coming from this man!!!!!!!!!!! :o)…isnt this just plain and simple rediculous? He is just repeating everything we already knew was goin on. puke!!!!!!!1
9/11!
Drink!
oh hereeeeeeeeee we go…9/11 qand mother nature!!!!!!! does this man really know what he is saying????
He just reads what they give him. Knowing things would require him to operate at a whole different level.
It makes so little sense that I can’t even figure out how to ridicule it.
And I thought it was just me…
You’re actually doing great e! You seem to be managing very well despite the lack of (good) material. :o)
“welcomes the loss of a house not made with hands”-WTF? What a garbled bunch of sh-t!
That one rated a 10 out of 10.
The nation’s bullshit alert level has just been raised to red…
huh?! I have the terror alert updater on my website and it hasn’t updated– (kidding but if you want it get it here: http://www.terror-alert.com/)
According to terror alert dot com we are still in yellow (i love how brutally simple that web address… if only it applied to porn as well…)
I like this one.
Checked the WH Web site to see if there’s a transcript yet … nope … not even an announcement that he was speaking. Oh well. Here are the two big stories at the WH:
Oh, the notice about the talk is down on the right:
Address to the Nation President Bush delivers an Address to the Nation from New Orleans, La. Click Here to Watch.
transcript … dunno if anyone else posted this but there are too many posts to find out!
Thinks Bush has lost it by going all “New Deal” on everything. I think this speech is going to piss off the fiscal conservatives.
Fineman and Scarborough are not being kind to Shrubzilla.
Man E, for those of us not accessed.
and Tucker Carlson think the speech is going to royally piss of “the base” since it calls for increased beauracracy and spending. I’ve already heard the comment several times on two networks that if the White House was trying to repeat Georgie’s “bullhorn moment” from 9/11, then he fell short of the goal.
That sounds on par (i.e., spending) for what I’ve read so far from some of the conserv blogs and their comments … basically, fuck that shit.
our side of the spectrum is already united against his incompetence, I wonder if finally it’s time for the kool-aide drinkers to abandon his sinking ship…
here’s hoping for a miracle!
His base only watches FOX so we should really be looking at what they have to say….
Got your airsickness bag ready?
Scarborough is wondering howTF Bush is planning on paying for all this.
Also, I found this on FreeRepublic, believe it or not:
That sound you’re hearing is the Republican and conservative base giving up on Pres. Bush. He has abandoned our priciples.
It was only one reply out of about 900 on their live thread though. I haven’t had the stomach to work through any more…
Local NBC news (KING) just played Brian Williams’ interview with Robert Ricks, the meteorologist who wrote that stunningly accurate National Weather Service forecast…
Ricks believes this wasn’t the big one. The big one will turn New Orleans and the lake into water … which is also what the author of ‘Bayou Farewell” predicts.
I wonder if this is wise.
He’ll charge to our kids so he can suck up to his rich friends who don’t like to pay taxes. Its how he’s paying for his war.
Or Disneyland? I couldn’t tell.
Wow! Scarborough is calling for more federal oversight!! What’s the temperature in hell?
Compared to the rest of the screaming heads Scarborough isn’t half bad… He’s been ripping Bush since Katrina and his grand presidential flyover…
True, but he distilled the issues that conservatives are going to have with this speech and it was a slant I hadn’t thought of.
(on CNN)
I want people screaming for his head! Where are those people? What channel are they on??
msnbc is pretty darn critical…scarborough is hot…did I just say that.
is blinding!!! She needs to go a bit subtler on the bleach.
Therefore, we shall resign the Presidency and the Vice-Presidency effective at noon tomorrow.”
Bush has just multiplied the federal budget by i.
The first thing I’m gonna do is go and talk to Cindy Sheehan about her son.
“I will only be President for a few minutes longer, as the ARMIES OF COMPASSION are coming to relieve you of my misery.”