We have been so fortunate in the outpouring of love and support for our two families in our time of need.

Now, though, the ugly is coming to the fore.  Offers from lawyers of questionable reputation have started to arrive in the mail.  We went around them, looked up someone through family, but I am unimpressed with them as well.  

It’s little things, really.  On the phone they were helpful, but when we get there they ascertain that we are likely only due the state minimum 20k death benefit as the driver only had pl&pd.  Suddenly we have “homework” to do (his term) basically digging up the stuff they should be checking on.  That is fine, and I can accept that they want us to do most of the legwork–after all, they don’t expect to get paid.  But they looked pretty disinterested once we got to that point, and they threw some extra business cards at Nicki’s step dad towards the end, when they knew each of us already had one.  It was a little thing, but it pissed me off–I’m sure I’m too sensitive in this situation, but it almost seemed like he was saying that referral business might be the only use we represented to him. They did mention that we should check our personal insurance policies, something I was not aware of, and that if we had the right coverage they would be happy to take our case. They said they would check a few things, anyway, and if they don’t they will not be getting any business from us.  Like making a call to the county official who stated that the truck was on a “no-truck road”, whatever he meant by that.  I checked my policy, and low and behold, I do have “underinsured” motorist protection.

 However, Nicki didn’t live with us, so unless her mom and step father have that coverage, I doubt it will apply.  The lawyers seemed to think it would, though, when we met–so I’m not telling them about this unless they’ve done some work on our behalf.  If they haven’t done what they said I’m not hiring them.

Why do ambulance chasers exist?  It’s all supply and demand–flyers proclaiming that “we are sorry to hear of the loss of your loved one” and “we would like to provide the needed legal support in this difficult time” show up in your mailbox because someone responds to them.

 These bloodsuckers who want to sue everyone in sight–they are a blight.  Indecent.  We as a people need to be strong enough to resist the temptation they represent.  Just as I would never buy from a telemarketer, I would never do business with one of these “slip and fall” lawyers.  We encourage the behavior, we reinforce it, when we respond to such invitations.  We bring them down upon ourselves, and the worthless bastards feed upon our grief, our anger, our need.  They tell you how sorry they are for your loss, but their eyes are empty, open, shiny…disengaged.  I know there are exceptions to this, lots of decent lawyers out there, but I don’t think any of them scan the obits then stuff your mailbox.

Why should we have to badger public servants to do their jobs?  I understand that these positions are often thankless, but these people have a profound effect on our lives.  They need to be held to a higher standard.  Being slow providing an accident report is not the same as being late providing an earnings report for a company.  Both affect people, but the actions of those public servants on the front lines can change the course of the lives of those they represent–us.  I had a clerk bring me out a judgment to sign many years ago which was written incorrectly–had I signed it, I would have been without my driver’s license for an extra six months.  I was lucky/smart enough to read it before signing, and they made me wait a long time, but they re-wrote it.  The part they changed came back typed in ALL CAPS, but hey, it was their screw up.  Government employees really do work for us, and they need to be held to a higher standard.  If they can’t understand or won’t accept that, they need to get another job.

Why can’t we, as a people, expect to contact our insurance agent and get a straight answer, to be offered what we’re entitled too?  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really feel like I’m entitled to anything–the thought of “profiting” from the loss of my daughter makes me feel like I’m going to vomit.  But the reality is this–we pay insurance fees all our lives, and the payouts are in place for a reason.  There are expenses involved when someone dies, and Nicki’s brothers and sisters can get a good jump start on college with this money–neither of her families are in a financial position to turn away from that.  But again, why is it expected by all parties, including myself, that we need a lawyer?  Why should we have to deal with this?  Haven’t we suffered enough, aren’t we agonizing enough, feeling guilty for even asking about money, without all this with the lawyers?

I want them to leave me alone, I want it all to go away.  I want time to sit quietly, time to grieve, time to figure out why I should want to keep breathing.  Necessity and demands on my time have kept me going, are getting me through this, but I’m not sure I want to get through it.  I don’t want to have to dig and question and demand–I want those who are paid to do this work to do it–in a timely, honest, reputable fashion.  Is that too much to ask?