Get out your white go-go boots and Velveeta, it’s Redneck Night at the Froggy Bottom Lounge!
Let’s get started with the tunes first…here’s an old fave (and it’s even available on Itunes, hint, hint):
And how about a little ditty for all us girls
from the most eligible bachelor at the bar:
“Well, meet me by the river that goes nowhere.
Let me lay my sorry trip on you.
Won’t you meet me by the river, little darling’?
I might just let you see my bad tattoo.
Well I was gonna bring you flowers, but I didn’t.
It’s the thought that counts and I think I’m a bit too broke.
But there’s some change in my ashtray–maybe just enough to pay.
For a half pint of somethin’, probably make us choke.
CHORUS:
Well you know I’d rather not go and meet your family.
They’d probably send me back where I belong.
Don’t want to hear about Mr. Right.
‘Cause he’s out of town tonight.
Baby come and spend some time with Mr. Wrong.
I drive a one-eyed Malibu without a muffler.
And a tape deck that works if you kick it hard enough.
And baby if you like to read, I’ve got some great pornography.
And a ten pound flashlight rolling in the trunk.
Now, do you have a girlfriend and does she look as good as you?
Would she like to meet my brother?
He’ll be out of jail in a month or two.
Where I come from they call me Mr. Wrong.”
-Cracker
Almost forgot, we need something to eat:
This hearty meal goes well with sports.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Line a muffin tin with bologna slices (red ring removed).
Crack an egg into the center of each bologna cup.
Sprinkle each with salt and black pepper.
Bake until firm.
Add a slice of Velveeta to each cup and bake until melted. Yummy!
And of course, it wouldn’t be happy hour without the cocktails!
Straight from Militarytracy’s secret recipe file (I had to beg her to share it with me)…
1 (6-pack) Pabst Blue Ribbon pounders
1 can frozen limeade
1 lime, sliced in half
Pour beer into a large pitcher. Add still-frozen limeade and stir to combine. (Stirring with a metal utensil can reduce foam.) Allow foam to settle. Squeeze half a lime into pitcher. Finely slice the other lime half and place into pitcher, for garnish. Pour into chilled glasses and serve cold.
So pull your plastic-slipcovered chair up to
the bar and have a few 4s on me…
take a dip in the pool later?
aka Jungle Juice
From my younger years in Utah:
1 20 gallon new plastic trash can (can be used for clean up later!)
5 gallons Hawaiian Punch
BYOB and pour into trash can
2 Fifths of Everclear
Drink until you hurl…
Been there done that…t-shirt was eaten away from the alcohol residue before it got washed.
You forgot the giant cans of fruit cocktail (mmm, breakfast the next morning…)
I almost made the mistake of using the clean Party Juice trash can for real trash the first year I lived in a house off campus.
We celebrated Antigua Independence Day with reggae til dawn.
The fruit cocktail was lethal by morning.
Achievement through attrition.
Only the strongest survive to go forth.
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK CROSSDRESSER IF…
Yeehaw! Now, those women sound hot.
You would’ve loved me in 1981, rumi — some of this stuff was the absolute height of fashion on Manhattan’s LES. Especially the minidress & boots.
Was I cross-dressing? Maybe. A redneck? Not at all — though I have been known to make extensive use of duct tape ..
(Poor Bob’s definitely seen better days. But haven’t we all!)
There’s not much in life that duct tape can’t fix.
I always did consider a woman in a miniskirt(minidress) and combat boots ‘eclectic’. Some of those combinations on that list are sultry, in a squirrel-hunting way in a woman of wanderlust.
…I do remember parts of 1981.
So do I, crazily enough 😉
but I won’t make any more of this after this comment.
I think “white trash” is a racist phrase. It is qualified with a color, because to say “black trash” would apparently be redundant.
Anyway, I don’t shy from being the PC police, but I’m not handing out tickets. I just think words are powerful and we ought to be well aware of them. Our own Damnit Janet clued me in about careless use of “retard,” for example.
No offense meant to you, CabinGirl. You’re the best.
My apologies! Pick a less offensive term and I’ll change it immediately.
and I hope I haven’t hijacked this happy thread. I just wanted to point out how I read the term. (And how can I tell the great diarist “white trash poet” now that he’s been getting recommended here and at dKos?)
SallyCat’s recommendation of “Redneck” doesn’t bother me if you want to change it, but again, I don’t have my hackles up, just wanted to point it out.
I actually had thought about it earlier…no worries!
to refer to Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise as “rednecks” when they have worked so hard to become white trash?
is referring to Tom Cruise as humanoid. He’s clearly an idealized version of a human, brought to Earth by our future alien overlords to win us over before the invasion.
Can I just confess that I know folks who enjoy a ritual known as “white trash date night”, where they go drive go-karts and see movies like Jackass…
driving go-karts is enough, then I hereby qualify as one of that Group Ye Shall Not Name While Ubikkibu Is Watching The Thread. 🙂
I like Jack Daniels, too.
You can up your redneck ante ten-fold by combining all 3 activities: get loaded on Jack Daniels while watching Jackass and then go drive go-karts.
But only if you dress the part, ubikkibu… 😉
that says “Lone Star Feed and Fertilizer.” I have a thick lumberjack red plaid shirt on, jeans, and a belt with a silver buckle.
But I have a cell phone in a holster on the belt, and I’m wearing these funky Blackspot boots I ordered from Adbusters magazine.
Otherwise, I could pass. Except I’m drinking Bushmills, not Beam or Daniels, and a Black Butte Porter from Deschutes Brewery, not Pabst or Schlitz. A redneck with hifalutin tastes. I should put a gun rack on the Prius.
Place a canned pineapple ring on plate, insert one vienna sausage in center hole, top vienna tip with a small dab of Miracle Whip, and serve.
Just….eww.
What she said. (shudder)
We’ll just have to add that to the recipe books, won’t we? 🙂
That’s just wrong, and in so many ways. Generic dijon at the very least.
WARNING! soapbox is out of the closet:
Oh, please, Ductape! This is an old girl scout recipe, and is in my CHILDREN’S cook books, including one sitting on my shelf right now: However, you put a banana in the middle of the pineapple ring. all the rest is the same.
Yes, yes, I know, the dirty thoughts can be just as bad. Let’s the children have something without turning it into some of the worst of adult culture.
OK, back to the fully out of control id again.
Soapbox has been locked up
a family-friendly version:
HOME MADE PIMENTO CHEESE
16 oz. pkg. Kraft Deluxe American Cheese (grated)
4 oz. jar pimento
2 eggs
1 tbsp. mustard
1 tsp. vinegar
1 tbsp. mayonnaise
Cook eggs, mustard, vinegar until it thickens. Add grated cheese and melt. Add mayonnaise and pimento. Salt and pepper to taste.
This is my husband’s favorite thing in the world…on a sandwich with that gross boiled-ham, more mayonnaise (“as a bread sealer”) and tomato slices. It is a Southern delicacy, and very much an acquired taste.
Hi, SN — Do you have enough for me? This sounds good.
I just got an email from a republican friend of mine and just had to share. She’s a nice person, really, but we’ve had quite a few rounds over the national shrub and she just hasn’t wanted to believe anything bad about him. Recently, I’ve noticed a bit of a change in her attitude. Let me assure you, it is a red letter day when I get the following in an email from her:
“Crawford, Texas — A tragic flood this morning
destroyed the personal library of President George W.
Bush. The flood began in the presidential bathroom
where the books were kept.
Both of his books have been lost.
A presidential spokesman said the president was
devastated, as he had almost finished coloring the
second one.
The White House tried to call FEMA but there was no
answer. “
Say no to back alley abortions!
SAY NO TO ALITO!
Cedwyn put^^^it^^^up^^^ at the link.
12 Days of Justice went great today.
Front Paged at ePluribus Media, Political Cortex, My Left Wing, Dembloggers. Posted at MyDD and My Left Nutmeg as well.
Alice, who has the toughest job of anyone with writing 2 diaries, will be putting one up tonight for everyone to peek at. She says she has plenty of background to cover it.
Tampopo: Your baby is growing up! It takes a community to raise a Blog-swarm! lol
Britney Spears and the Bush twins deserve to have ethnic pride, too.
Having read the various recipes above, it’s the first time I feel glad there is a whole ocean between us….
Is there a French version of Red Neck? (And don’t say its the British).
They say “Belgians”
OK — then I say bring on the Belgian waffles sometime after midnight.
for the watery substance I just nose-sprayed all over my keyboard. Hilarious!
In the past, Redneck would have translated into “Plouc” or “Péquenaud”, referring to a peasant who never comes to the city. Today (we don’t have a lot of peasants left…), we would say “Beauf”, which is an abbreviation of “Beau-frère” (brother in law) which refers to a typical vulgar narrow-minded chauvinistic idiot…
How funny — in America many brothers-in-law could be considered red necks. You know … about your peasants. In the mid nineties I went to Paris with a friend who worked for the city I live in. He was part of an American group looking at high speed trains. So one day they took them all out for a ride on the high speed train and they got about 10 minutes outside the city when the train stopped. They didn’t go anywhere for the next few hours. My friend didn’t speak any French but was trying to make conversation with the person who was hosting them. He asked what the problem was and the man told them that the peasants were blocking the tracks (it was obviously some kind of strike). My friend thought maybe the word peasant was a french translation of some American word but the man said no, he meant peasants in the traditional sense.
😉
Sometimes there is no deeper meaning and a peasant is but a peasant, a redneck is just a redneck.
Happy Friday everyone! I brought a bar of cream cheese that I’m now dumping a jar of pepper jelly on top of — you can spread it on the Ritz crackers I brought. Now I’m goin to be me a drink.
Yay! Mine is too (at least for this evening…)
Congrats! It’s a good feeling. (And yes, I meant “get” me a drink not “be” me a drink but, you know, its been that kind of week.)
From my recipe book:
This is guaranteed to throw a look on your face reminiscent of a debutant eating hissing cockroaches…
1 3-oz package cherry gelatin
1 1/2 c water
1/2 cup everclear
1 Tablespoon ouzo or Jagermeister
Place gelatin in a heat-resistant bowl. Boil water and pour over gelatin in bowl, stirring until dissolved. Add the Everclear and Ouzo, mixing well. Divide this lovely mixture among 12 1-oz disposable cups, and chill until set. (2-4 hours)
Must be Southern Comfort or Jack Daniels if it’s Redneck….
Just sayin’…..
1 3-oz pkg apricot or peach gelatin
1 cup water
1/2 cup Kentucky ourbon
1/2 cup vodka
Add boiling water to gelatin in heat-resistant bowl. Stir until dissolved. Add bourbon and vodka. Divide among 20 1-oz disposable cups, and chill for 2-4 hours.
The ultimate redneck way to drink Southern Comfort is the following: lay on a bed (or a table, or a pickup truck, doesn’t really matter) with your head hanging off the end, tilted back. Let a friend pour a few shots in your mouth. Leave a smidge of room. Sit up, take a swig of 7-Up directly from the bottle, shake your head ’til you feel it trying to fizz up your nose, then swallow.
I learned this in high school.
This sounds alot like the “poor man’s milkshake” my kids make at Denny’s and similar eating venues. Pour a packet of sugar on tongue, hold there while you add the contents of an individual sized coffee creamer, then close mouth and shake head vigorously…swallow.
Yes, this is repulsive. I have no defense for letting them do it.
Thank you but I don’t do Jello shots — not since the party following my first semester of law school when I did far too many jello shots. I remember I initially said no — but then people started buying rounds and before I knew it …. well, I don’t do jello shots anymore.
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 44 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, “Oh, Shit!”
However, the states of Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas and Tennessee the last 15 seconds were very different.
In 89.3 percent of the fatal accidents monitored by these black boxes the final words were: “Hold my beer and watch this!”
The top 20 things you would NEVER, EVER hear a Redneck say, no matter how much they’ve had to drink, no matter how far from the South they’ve wandered and no matter how much the skunks are threatening…edited from original 40…by me
Well ya’ll….I’m gonna git me back down to some ponderin’ ’bout this work thingy…
You done real good with that list, SallyCat.
cut a plug from a large watermelon, place one quart of opened Rum or your choice of alcoholic beverage in opening, once rum or other beverage is drained into watermelon, place once pint of flavored brandy into hole and drain into watermelon. Replace plug.
Place watermelon in freezer overnight or at least five hours.
Particularly refreshing on a very hot and muggy summer day.
This is one recipe I have not enjoyed in over 18 years folks. I can’t say that I miss it much though. lmao
But where will we get a watermelon this time of year? Anybody got a supplier?
Use a clean hypo to inject vodka into oranges. Bring plenty of oranges to the Friday night high school football game. Your parents will wonder why you’re suddenly eating so health. The school teachers will wonder how you got so looped.
Sorry no watermelons, but you can get oranges year round.
Forty Hour Week – Alabama
Grandpa (Tell Me ‘Bout The Good Ole Days) – The Judds
We Shall Be Free – Garth Brooks
Tush – ZZ Top
Thank God I’m A Country Boy – John Denver
That Smell – Lynyrd Skynyrd
If You Wanna Get To Heaven – Ozark Mountain Daredeveils
Heard It In A Love Song – Marshall Tucker Band
Back Where You Belong – .38 Special
Let Your Love Flow – Bellamy Brothers
In order to theme this properly for Cabin Girl’s Cafe, I used the random play setting only on my redneck genres. Whatchoo guys got?
The Devil went Down to Georgia …
Hmm…
Break it to me Gently: Hartford Dillard Hartford
It Ain’t Gonna Suck Itself: Cracker
Sweet Spot: Linda Ronstadt Emmylou Harris
No Hablo Espanol: Keller Williams
Wait’ll I get you Home: Amy Rigby
Family Tradition: Cracker
On a Bad Day: Kasey Chambers
Barroom Girls: Gillian Welch
Euphoria: Leftover Salmon
Essence: Lucinda Williams
I admit there’s a big twang, but I refuse to concede Emmylou Harris and Linda Ronstadt to the redneck genre.
Judges?
Sorry, Second Nature, Linda Ronstadt counts:
I’m gonna say it again
You’re no good
You’re no good
You’re no good
Baby you’re no good…
Ok, tragically you are right. I went to find some lyrics from her songs that I know aren’t redneck songs, but the site was called “Cowboy Lyrics”….sigh…
I hate to say this, but Emmy Lou Harris is about as close as any of you have gotten to Redneckness. Not a single song from Johnny Cash? The Carters? Willie Nelson & Waylo Jennings?
Where are youall from? I think you need to go to your computers, order up Nashville, and STUDY YOUR CLIFF NOTES ABOUT THIS GREAT INTRODUCTION TO SOUTHERN CULTURE!
Next thing you know, I’m gonna find out that no one here has ever been a baton twirler! Now, all the good food recipes in the world don’t mean much if you can’t twirl a baton!
Heh, I want to hear Wildwood Flower or somethin’ like that, I can play it on my gi-tar myself. How’s that for redneckness?
on the old-timey clawhammer banjo. Too bad we live so far apart!
Now that’s a real instrument!
Only if I can sing along in parallel fifths. My grandmother’s parents and sisters and brothers had their family band in the hills of Tennessee long before the Carter’s – we all learned to sing the oldies with her, and her versions were definitely of that high lonesome variety.
Sing and pick away!
That sounds awesome. I’m just happy enough listening to my darling sing along to Billy Bragg while she quilts in the back room.
Ha, you know you’re low on redneck tunes when you double-dip with Cracker.
What made me laugh about my list is that half of them are songs with very liberal sentiments, even if the musicians themselves are conservatives.
In all fairness, both songs are on their Countrysides album…not all of us are lucky enough to have Marshall Tucker in our collections…
Funnily enough, the Marshall Tucker came off of a 70s pop hits collection CD set.
Now wait a second….
not all of us are lucky enough to have Marshall Tucker in our collections…
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK CROSSDRESSER IF…
You use duct tape to keep your “tuck” in place.
I’m feelin’ a might uneasy about all this
<whistling>
…I see a bad moon rising,
I see trouble on the way…
I think they should be on the list.
I told you my wife’s David Lowery story once, didn’t I?
I hated like the devil
To tell her we wuz thru
I was sure it would break her heart
And tear her world in two
She is such a fragile thing
Lord, I hate to make her cry
So I broke it to her gently
When I told her good-bye
She cussed me like a sailor
Kicked a hole through the kitchen wall
She threw a fit and threw the phone
Halfway down the hall
She said, “I’ll be down at the bar”
And then I heard the front door slam
I guess all in all
She took it like a man
AND THEN, of course there’s the classic country-western song in reverse:
I got my job back
I got my truck back
I got my wife back
I got my dog back
And I sobered up
Hey, I used to date that woman, too! Small world.
Top Ten Country Hits! Random selections from the abandoned LP collection (’60s & ’70s) of an actual redneck, God bless him.
Heartache Just Walked In – Conway Twitty
Back Up & Push – Gid Tanner
Kickin’ Our Hearts Around – Buck Owens
Always On A Saturday – Chet Atkins
Send Me The Pillow That You Dream On – Hank Locklin
When I Had A Home To Go To – Johnny Paycheck
Silver Sandals – Dolly Parton & Porter Wagoner
I Love You Drops – Homer & Jethro
You’ll Never Be Mine Again – Jim Reeves
Chug A Lug – Roger Miller
Now that’s some hardcore redneckin’ right there. Up on cinder blocks in the overgrown yard style, with a cool Coors 40-ouncer and a hound dog.
You know it, darlin’! The only things missing from the scene right here are the 40-ouncers & ol’ Blue — but I do have the Goodyear lawn ornaments.
Now that looks like the playlist from back when I was a DJ at a country station. Hand to goddess, this old hippie used to spin redneck vinyl.
Love it. How did you feel about the music in general? Could you find pleasure in it?
Obviously, some of us still spin redneck vinyl 😉
The music has soul — & I love the quality of sound to the vinyl. My father played it constantly as I grew up, so there’s a sentimental value in hearing it too.
I’ve retained a fondness for the old stuff–Hank Williams, Patsy Cline. And I’ve always had a weakness for country rock.
The highlight of my DJ career was getting mail-in requests every week from three guys in the county jail–they couldn’t phone in their requests, so they mailed them instead. I remember one of them usually requested “Linda On My Mind.”
I’m glad the station policy allowed you to do that for them.
A Saturday night DJ at our regional public radio station seems to have a number of inmates in her audience. She renders the same service to them & will also read their creative work & shout-outs on air. A good woman.
I have the same affection for the older country stuff as you do. I was happy to find Patsy & Hank Williams in the LP collection I mentioned — left at the town dump, no less. Absolute treasures in wonderful condition.
are a cut above all the other music mentioned here, IMHO. Especially Hank Sr. My wife (who continues just to lurk here, ahem!) and I love Hank: “Weary Blues” is our song.
Plus he opened the door for me to Bill Monroe, Buck Owens, Bob Wills, Lyle Lovett, Dwight Yoakam, Vassar Clements, Peter Rowan (who introduced me to Bushmills whiskey–long story), The Freighthoppers, Tim O’Brien and Hot Rize, Tommy Jarrell, The Stanley Brothers, Bruce Molsky, Del McCoury, Dirk Powell, Jerry Garcia (when he played banjo), John Hartford, Mike Seeger, The Carter Family, New Grass Revival, Johnny Cash, and Jody Stecher.
But Hank Williams is the best.
Excellent list (and btw, I do remember your wife’s David Lowery story…)
Now this is getting a little bit closer to the real thing. But not close enough yet!
Yes, I got in a good nap this morning/afternoon, so the spouse will be happy. Now I need to get a little bit of work done before he gets home…
Heading out tonight to see holiday lights, so will miss the evening festivities…have fun, everyone! 🙂
Have fun, Cali!
.
JibJab flashes back at a year in the White House.
ABC Video :: Bush Cartoon »» see link left column
JibJab.com
“Treason doth never prosper: what’s the reason?
For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.”
▼ ▼ ▼ MY DIARY
. . . is like a trip back home for the holidays.
And now you know why I don’t go back home for the holidays.
save you the trip!
“Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can’t hear you.”
You libruls just live to make shit up….studies and such!
Mix together in bowl:
1 tub Cool Whip
1 can pineapple chunks
1 can fruit cocktail
1 spoon of maraschino cherry juice
1 handful grated coconut
Serve.
And a few toasted pecans to give a few crunches here and there
my grandmother called it Watergate Salad.
just called that “salad.”
(Hello?)
But judging from the recipes, I hope you’ve already eaten.
No, I haven’t eaten. I’m heading back up to the top to read the recipes now.
Are you saying that maybe I shouldn’t?
Are we frightening you?
Frighten? no . . . No.
It’s more a language thing. What is this, redneck?
Hey y’all throw another bottle of [fill in whatever you have] into the jungle juice. Katiebird’s here. Did you bring a dish? Don’t worry. I’ll give you one. Pile a bunch of fritos on a plate, slather with chili, dollop it with sour cream and maybe a few peppers. Walla!
fritos. fritos. fritos.
I don’t think I can eat fritos. I once gained 20 pounds in one summer living basically on Fritos and Coke.
I wouldn’t dare come close to that happening again. And adding chili & sour cream to them? Oh, no. No fritos.
Thanks anyway.
That sounds really rude, I’m sorry — I didn’t even realize that I have a fear of fritos until just now.
I really am looking through the Cafe — I’ll eat something, I promise!
I don’t want to tempt you off of your eating plan — and I’m sure all these recipes are tempting (not). You could have a redneck manhattan. It’s jack daniels and the thought of vermouth.
Bologna cups?…..that’s the most disgusting thing I have ever heard of! Tearfully I admit to having ingested Redneck Margaritas and I admit to having defiled my Koolaid pitcher with them last summer! As for tonight I remain liquorless due too over stress teen parenting. You thought drunk drivers were dangerous, shit, they have nothing on drunk parenting of teenagers!
Tracy, I was hoping you’d have a Manhattan with me! Darn it 🙁
around here to imbibe on.
You mean you don’t think they sound de-lish? 🙂
(btw, did you notice any recurring themes around the pond lately…)
I wouldn’t notice a theme around here right now if it played on top of my old stupid wrinkled idiot mom head. I noticed a few things seemingly missing.
Hah, I try to be the Martha Stewart of the Nascar set, and you don’t even notice… :::sniff:::
and sweetpea you are, you are! You aren’t trying honey pie, you are doing.
I am suddenly realizing that I was rednecked to death today and I didn’t even know it……now I’m scared Cabin! The other Homeroom mom also shared a meatloaf recipe with me that uses applesauce so it is sweet. She swore my son would eat it then like her children do. Oh Gawd, I’m turning redneck and I don’t even know it!!!!
No — consider it red state research.
Germans put applesauce in everything, like Greeks with cinnamon.
Anybody else watching A Charlie Brown Christmas?
Or now the Scooby Doo christmas (I don’t remember the name but its the one with the headless snowman).
I believe it’s called “A Wish for Wings That Work.” It begins with Opus the penguin waking up and looking in the mirror . . . and then his butt falls off.
Actually this is the first time I’ve even HEARD of it. And I loved Opus. How did I miss this. What time period did it come out?
1991. I wish I had taped it–such a hoot!
That’s why I missed it. I was in law school and three years of my life are missing. Wonder if its on DVD.
The video seems to be available through Amazon, but it doesn’t appear to be on DVD.
Thanks — maybe Santa will give it to me for Christmas
Stop at the liquor store for a bottle of tequila. Swing by the grocery store and get one of those round boxes of Morton’s salt and some lemon juice in a squeezable plastic lemon.
While riding shotgun in your best friend’s pickup truck, lick your wrist, pour some salt on it, then suck off the salt. Take a big ‘ol shot of tequila. Follow with a generous squirt of the lemon juice. Scrunch up your face, shake your head vigorously, and yell, “WhoooEEE!”
If you want to get home in one piece, don’t pass the tequila to the driver.
A redneck walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Budweiser and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells him, “You know, a mug goes flat after you draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time.” The redneck replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Australia, the other is in Ireland, and I’m in Texas. When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each o’my brothers and one for myself.”
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The redneck becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”
The redneck looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. “Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains, “It’s just that my wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.
Hasn’t affected my brothers though.”
Hey, I actually used that and got away with it for about 14 months.
Swap out “pickup truck” for “’76 Ford Cobra II with one fender decked in bondo”, put some Bad Company on the stereo, and go right on ahead and pass the bottle to the driver, and I’ve actually done that and lived to tell the tale.
In my case the vehicle was actually a 1972 Gremlin, but that detracts seriously from the redneck chic.
Those Gremlins were really good for sled riding on the back roads in the winter.
An old car hood, towed behind my uncle’s truck.
Now there’s a memory. I learned to drive a stick shift in a Gremlin. That was in 1976 but I don’t remember what year the Gremlin was.
Daisy Duke in the General Lee:
Excuse me, I have to…um, go take a nap.
damn “redneck parenting” story with me today, and until this very moment I didn’t even realize it. I love the other Kindergarten Homeroom mom and she is as Southern Belle as Southern Belle gets. I still adore her too….she is infectious “not in the Booman kind of way though”. Everybody who lives here goes to church but me! If you are a pimp here you still go to church every Sunday. So mom was telling me that at their house they call Miller Lite “Adult Drinks” and during a big church family get together where everybody was watching Nascar and the Miller Lite car won, her little guy who was less than five jumped up and yelled, “Look mom, the Adult Drink car won!”
with minor modifications.
Maybe you need to go to the RedNeck Spa. You’ll have a head start:
Well, gaaawlly. This looks like the perfect place for a slight crabby and overworked teacher to come unwind on a Friday night.
Is a Bailey’s on the rocks too high falutin’ for this place?
Come on over to the new cafe and tell us the significance of 2009.
If I’m not a fried crawdad, just take back my Doodle-Soup!
You all stole the entire menu from our wedding feast! However, those boloney cups are best made with spam, darlin’s. Spam is where it’s AT. And you didn’t include the special hound cake for the dogs who were our ring bearers.
If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you planned this knowing I was busy typing up my grandmother’s recipes this evening. I just, well, get so DISTRACTED when I have to dip into my grandmother’s cramp medicine to see if it still works. Amazingly, the cramp medicine recipe is almost exactly like Military Tracey’s Redneck Magarina’s (whatever they are), except grandmother’s recipe calls for a small jar of good Kentucky bourbon topped off with enough branch water to fill up the big pitcher. For girls under the age of 16 you pop a red maraschino cherry into a glass full of ice before you give them a big glass full. Now, this is STRICTLY for cramps and other types of aches and pains, you know. We do not hold with taking strong drink in this household! (I quote my grandmother Flossie exactly here).
When we have that BOOTRIB CONVERGENCE thing next year, you must come, and I’ll explain about P.W.T, that term y you don’t like. As possibly the only or one of the very few real Southerners here in the Lounge at the moment, I want to explain some of these, ah, terms being bandieid band-aided bandihooed about(I’ve got to quit testing that cramp medicine if I’m going to keep on writing) .
Frankly, my dear ubikkibu – by the way, do you know that you have panlindromitis? No? Well, don’t worry, we won’t say a word to anyone. You have a perfectly lovely name, no doubt you were named after your great aunt ubikkibu, just as I was named after my great aunt kidspeakia. We understand about interesting family names here in this part of the country.
Anyhow, where was I? Oh yes, the, ah, terms you don’t care for. Unfortunately, well, no, let’s just wait until I can see you face to face and I am not trying to test a batch of cramp medicine. Can’t get the proportions just right! I think I need a smaller pitcher or a bigger bottle of bourbon. The terms, like the recipe, are a family thing as well as a public issue, which is part of the problem. Oh well, you can’t choose your family – except, of course, unless you marry someone you choose.
yeah me too.
I was unaware of CONVERGENCE, but it sounds like something I obviously can’t miss. I would just love to have a hug and a beer with you and all the others I feel I know at BMT.
Hey, everyone can say “white trash,” ok? I made my point and I don’t judge anyone over such trivia, really.
Here’s the story of ubikkibu, which I give full public credit to Cho and Aaron Barlow for recently decoding. (Aaron is apparently writing a book about Philip K. Dick.) I’m a big PKD fan, and one of his better sci-fi novels is Ubik. I used to use “ubik” as my login for everything, but as the net grew crowded I found it was already taken when I’d create new accounts. So I palindrome-ized it, and it’s served me well.
To complete this installment in More Than You Cared To Know About Some Guy’s BMT Nickname, I divulge that I pronounce it “you-BICK-ee-boo”.
Yours – oh yes! Now the title Ubik leaps out of memory. A great story, lovely paranoia.
PWT (that was what we most commonly said) in our family was practically a code of honor. Our greatgrandfather owned a store in their Tenn. county, one of only 2 in the area, the other owned by his cousin. Most of the cousins were members of the klan, and they all called my branch of the family PWT’s because our line were not in the klan. This was a really big deal given that the cousins’ fathers had ridden with the klan founder (Nathan Bedford Forrest) in the Civil War. My GGGfather fought for the union, his son’s store was the store for poor white trash. That’s my bit of unaskedfor info.
OMG!!! You guys are just too damn funny tonight!! HAHAHA! I’m dying over here. And I’m speaking from redneck-land here in NH, so I am an authority. Tee-hee. I’m just cracking up already… And I used to live here in a town that hosted the annual Mud Bowl… LOL. Go Nascar!! 🙂