I hate when the news bucket is front paged. Once they start putting up other stories it moves down page and is hard to find — and so what’s the point of adding stories during the rest of the day.
Sounds like special orders allowed. May I substitute the brown sugar fo real VT maple syrup with extra servings of berries. Sugaring is within weeks and gotta move out last season’s goodies.
Well, I’m not really a foodie but if any of y’all ever see me in a McD’s call the cops because I’ve been Indy-napped and forcefully dragged in there. I’m glad to know that the Brits, at least, are eating less of that crap.
Morning SN – Nope half a yard burned me out until next week. If I’m lucky it’ll rain or we’ll have a rare blizzard all next week. Since yesterday I’ve become the errand boy for the family. I’ve got a bunch to do today.
Well I’ve got to get ready to go into the city. Haven’t been since last week. It’s funny to me now that I call it a city and it has a pop. of a little over 30,000.
No clothesline, no front porch rail to hang it over to gently seperate the feathers. I wouldn’t put it out in below freezing weather. The feathers clump together horribly when wet. I had to put it in the dryer with a pair of tennis shoes. That produced a very fine feather dust that almost cloogged my dryer. It’s dry enough after 2 days to hang it in the house and fluff every few hours. I really made a big mistake by washing it now. I should have known better.
Years ago my Mom took feather pillows to a Place, and they removed the good feathers and replaced them with picky cheap ones. So that would not be an option.
But… the quilt is ok, my dryer’s ok and I’m going off my diet tonight, so life is good! 🙂
I’m off to the store for food… I’d better stop to eat somewhere, or I’ll need a 3rd mortgage by noon.
Sympathies, sister. I woke up this morning with a case of bedhead so bad that my layers were pasted back and it looks like I have a fine mullet. Now, while it is true that lesbians are not exactly revered for our sense of style, I do usually like to stay in the current century and out of the Ozarks when it comes to hairdos. But, have I taken a shower yet? No. Do I still look like a random NASCAR fan’s oldest teenage son? Plenty.
Heh, I’ve had a crush on Chastity since we were both 4, and I’ve had a crush on Ellen since I first saw her doing standup back in the 80s…sporting a mullet, I believe she was.
I’m far more neurotic than Damnit Janet — who impressed the hell out of me when she had no compunction about posting such a pic of herself. I won’t do it unless I think I look at least halfway decent. I’m a big chicken.
That seems to be happening a lot lately. I think it’s because I’m in the worst of my work stages: almost caught up. When I’m terribly behind, I tend to head off to the blogs, because “what the heck, I’m behind anyway.” When I’m ahead I know I can coast a little. Right now, I’m a half day behind. And that means I have to work. Sigh. Hope all of you are having a good day. I’ve got to run now because I need to get a couple thousand words in between now and 2:00 when I run off to one of the local SF cons to pontificate (fancy strike through thingy) opine (and again with the strike through) share my insights. (Yeah, that’s it, sharing!)
Back from the eye doctor and if olivia wants to put up a flower picture, I’m sure I could a version of DTF’s low vision impressions that would violate even BT’s community standards for decency.
A bit drippy in Silly Con Valley, but supposed to clear up later in the day, so I can get out and do a few errands. Spouse is going out shopping after work, so I’m on my own for dinner — I’ll either pick up something while I’m out, or be a good spud and eat the Healthy Choice dinner I bought last night.
Gave the spouse an additional option for birthday gift — a good set of portable speakers for my iPod that I can take when traveling. He looked a little less daunted, so I have a feeling he’s going to head for the Apple Store this evening…they’ve got the best selection and they’re very helpful, all he has to do is wear his usual confused look. 😉 (And he can get me the dress watch for an anniversary gift.)
Still trying to figure out what I want to do tomorrow, thought part of the day is going to be stuck doing domestic activites. 🙁 Might possibly take in a movie; he hasn’t seen Chronicles of Narnia yet, and I wouldn’t mind seeing it again. Might check and see if there are any good movies opening today. And I have no idea where I want to go for dinner…
Oatmeal (from above discussion) sounds good this morning — although I’m too lazy to make the real stuff; have some instant on hand that’s actually not too bad. So off to check a few more blogs, then go heat the hot water…have a good day, folks…
good move — telling him exactly what you want from a store that he’ll feel comfortable in is always smart.
Although . . . I DO like to be surprised. It’s such a balance — getting something you actually like / not having to pick it out yourself.
I don’t know why men get really weirded out about picking out jewelry as a gift (including dress watches), but they do. Here’s my trick. You pick a reasonably priced reliable jeweler as your personal jeweler. Go in enough times to let him/her know what you like and don’t like. You don’t have to buy anything, just get to know them and let them in on the plot. Then send him there. They’ll help him pick out something you would like, in his price range, and you’ll be surprised at the actual choice.
If, after all that work to set it up, he gets you a vacuum cleaner. Divorce him.
Morning Cali 🙂 Hey Hockey Picks Reminder – as there’s a game tonight 🙂 Warning: We’ve been reallly really bad in there lately LOL. Pictures of Jesus playing hockey… but it’s our way of venting about Bush I think.
Anyways, when’s your birthday??
Wayne and I did some window shopping just yesterday and I showed him some coolio thingios that I would like. But… guys just don’t get “window shopping” do they?
Was just catching up on last night’s Cafe — if you make it down to SoCal, we’re going to nominate you official bartender. 😉
Birthday tomorrow — freakin’ 47!!! But spouse is 50 in June — been teasing him that I’m going to trade him in on a younger model. Heck, if it’s good enough for Demi Moore… 😉 And you’re right that guys don’t get “window shopping” — he won’t even go into a store if they don’t have a comfy chair where he can sit and read his newspapers…
I have got to see that hockey-playing Jesus…I’m a rare Christian, one with a sense of humor… 🙂
Please know none of us meant to offend you in there 🙂 Some of us had dealings with “Church Ladies” types from another chatroom. The very hypocritical ones who were always easily offended… reason I left the chat. Got to the point I couldn’t discuss antyhing openly. I mentioned Lennon and the ONE got very irate. Then everyone one was all “the room’s no fun anymore”… well duh.. .censorship sucks LOL
I have a few friends who are Christian. You, too. That I truly respect. It’s just… it’s not for me. But I do really like the Jesus part of it… cause thats the part that isn’t about Christianity but HUMANITY 🙂
Pssst Winterhawk from that chat… his son is also autistic and he lives less than 3 miles away LOL> met him via the old hockey chat room. We’re hockey chat refugees some of us. The others started the group and it’s moved around a bit. Reason for the humor and “oddness” of topics there I think. I didn’t start it – it’s not my fault 🙂
things I’ve read was Al Franken’s graphic-novel chapter on “Supply-Side Jesus” in his Lies and Lying Liars book…and Jesus’ General is freakin’ hilarious! (Sometimes you can’t tell the snark from the real news…)
A friend sent me these bush jokes and I just have to share them. There are quite a few so I apologise for the length of the post. LOL
Dick Cheney’s Top 10 Excuses For Shooting Fellow
Hunter
From the home office in blue-state New York, here’s
Vice President Dick Cheney’s top 10 excuses for
shooting fellow hunter Harry Whittington on Saturday:
10. Sick and tired of Whittington’s “Hey, I’m having a heart attack” jokes
9. Pushed over edge by Dixie Chicks and Streisand
blasting on pick-up truck stereo
8. Ongoing dispute over whether it’s acceptable to
torture quail before shooting them
7. Thought he saw Michael Moore on other side of tree
line
6. Bombed out of his gourd on Wild Turkey and Lone
Star Beer
5. Companion’s ill-advised decision to wear Moveon.org sweatshirt
4. Thought perfect score on NRA’s heavy-artillery
safety certification would keep this from happening
3. Whittington’s repeated ribbing that Bush is
actually the “real president”
2. Targeting scope on rifle made by Halliburton
And the number one excuse given by Dick Cheney for
almost blowing away hunting companion Harry
WhittingtonS
1. Because he’s a wartime vice president, damn it
Subject: George Meets the Queen
George Bush meets with the Queen of England.
He asks her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an
efficient government? Are there any tips you can give
to me?”
“Well,” says the Queen, “the most important thing is
to surround yourself with intelligent people.”
Bush frowns. “But how do I know the people around me
are really intelligent?”
The Queen takes a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy. You
just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.” The
Queen pushes a button on her intercom. “Please send
Tony Blair in here, would you?”
Tony Blair walks into the room. “Yes, my Queen?”
The Queen smiles “Answer me this, please, Tony. Your
mother and father have a child. It is not your brother
and it is not your sister. Who is it?”
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers,
“Well, your Majesty, that would be me.”
“Yes, Very good,” says the Queen.
Bush goes back home to ask Dick Cheney, his Vice
President, the same question. “Dick, answer this for
me. Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not
your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”
“I’m not sure,” says Cheney, “let me get back to you
on that one.”
Cheney goes to his Advisors and asks every one, but
no! ne can g ive him an a! nswer. F inally, he ends up in
the men’s room and recognizes Colin Powell’s shoes in
the next stall. Cheney shouts, “Colin! Can you answer
this for me?
Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your
brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Colin Powell yells back, “That’s easy. It’s me!”
Cheney smiles, and says, “Thanks!”
Then, Cheney goes back to speak with Bush. “Say, I did
some research and I have the answer to that riddle.
It’s Colin Powell.”
Bush gets up, stomps over to Cheney and angrily yells
into his face,
“No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”
————————————-
Q: What’s the difference between Groundhog Day and President Bush’s
State of the Union Address?
A: One of them is a quaint but hollow ritual in which millions of Americans
look to a small, pathetic creature of little intelligence and limited
capacities to tell us what the future will bring.
The other one involves a groundhog. ________________
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the United Methodist Church
outside Washington as part of his campaign. Bush’s campaign manager made a
visit to the Pastor, and said to him, “We’ve been getting a lot of bad publicity
among Methodists because of Bush’s position on stem cell research and the
like. We’d gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your
sermon you’d say the President is a saint.”
The pastor thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, “The
Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it.”
Bush pompously shows up looking especially smug today and as the
sermon progresses the pastor begins his homily: “George Bush is petty,
a self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a
low-intelligence weasel.
He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself
in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating ‘Mission
Accomplished.’ He invaded a country for oil and money, and is using it to
lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a United Methodist I’ve
ever personally known. But compared to Dick Cheney and the rest of his cabinet,
George Bush is a saint.” _________
Hey, all — greetings from these white, blustery mountains. The sun is shining, the wind whips our new snow into a tarantella with every breath.
I’d truly enjoy hiking down to the general store in ‘town’ today, but wind chills are hovering ’round about near -7. A four hour hike might not be the greatest idea.
Hope everyone’s faring well. Supposedly I’ve got chores to attend to. Ha ha. Brrr.
Chores?…..pffffffft! Your writing is so poetic it sometimes make me want to live up there in the frozen tundra with no electricity and a four mile hike to the nearest civilization. And then I come to my senses.
when Wally World was selling some ultra-cheap laptops on the day after Thanksgiving and people were stampeding over each other to get them — a talk show host said if you opened the case, the processor was probably a squirrel on a wheel… 🙂
Of course, I’m torn on whether to respond since that might make you delurk again and cause you to have to refigure your billable six minutes yet again.
Okay, so I’m sitting here in my PJs cruising the Internets.
I had MacDaily News open in Safari, checking the news, when I hear this “Hello!” come from my iMac speakers. I totally freaked out! “Hello! Hello!” it kept calling. I was so panicked I closed out Safari, Firefox, and Entourage (email program) — I left open iTunes because I was listening to Rachel Maddow so figured it was safe.
May have been some sort of audio ad designed to get my attention, but it just totally spooked me…wonder how many heart attacks that damn thing has caused…
At 5 a.m. a dog climbs up your body, lays down on you, and licks your nose.
Morning all.
Morning Andi, how are you today?
I’m fine. How’s life in AL?
It’s kind of cool this am. I’m just trying to unglue my eyeslid now.
It’s in the 20s here but we’re heading toward the 40s.
Well, I’ve got to go to the eye doctor. See you later.
Uhmm – have a good time – maybe :).
Time for those trifocals? LOL
I have a feeling that was sniff. LOL The Diva Dogs love to stick their noese against my and huff. LOL
I had a beagle named billy who would climb on top of me and start wagging his tail till I opened my eyes.
My dogs know better than to harass me that early…I’ll just roll over and growl “go away”.
Hey, Refi…I’m looking for the lyrics to an Austin Lounge Lizards song…do you have any of their cds?
Sorry but I don’t have any of their cds.
Thanks anyway…
The news bucket is front paged. I guess you won’t be hanging around with the lowlifes anymore. sigh.
I hate when the news bucket is front paged. Once they start putting up other stories it moves down page and is hard to find — and so what’s the point of adding stories during the rest of the day.
It’s much better being left on the rec list.
Just my 2 cents
That is true. But with the shortage of front pagers maybe it’ll stick around awhile.
Maybe they can just return it to the recent list later?
hey, I’m like…5’11”.
We can return it later, if y’all would like.
Good morning!
I’d like that.
just moved it back.
I might have some friends who do. What song are you looking for?
“Industrial Strength Tranquilizer” and “I’ll just have one beer”, both on Highway Cafe of the Damned.
Same scenario; different beast. Inquisitive and hungry kitten licks my eye with sandpaper tongue at 4:45 AM.
ROTFLMAO!!!!
It could have been worse, he could have just eaten and rolled in dead sea turtle.
It’s a long story…
those are usually the best ones 🙂
Happy Friday everyone!!! I hope all my favorite liberals are having a great day.
Good morning. TGIF
Can you change the cereal to hot oatmeal with strawberries? Thanks.
That sounds way too healthy. I think I’ll have mine with toasted pecans and brown sugar.
Ooo, yes, add those, and butter, and be sure to cook the oatmeal in milk.
and none of those instant oats — the Irish steel cut kind. You’ve been soaking those all night right?
Well, of course,I’ve been soaking them all night in. . .what? What’s an Irish steel cut when it’s at home?
Now it’s sounding suspiciously like an oatmeal cookie in a bowl.
that’s because she uses butter
really you should use whipped heavy cream
Ew, hate oatmeal cookies. Gross, yuk, spit, hate ’em!
On the other hand, I don’t think I’d like chocolate chip oatmeal, either.
whipped cream with heavy granulated brown sugar sprinkled on top
Can’t stop, can you? Blueberries on top.
(Atrios has a thread with 911 comments! No wonder he only does quickies.)
have you learned nothing grasshopper?
quality, not quantity
Were the blueberries too much? 🙂
Sounds like special orders allowed. May I substitute the brown sugar fo real VT maple syrup with extra servings of berries. Sugaring is within weeks and gotta move out last season’s goodies.
So what else is on the menu? Looks like unhealthy food sales are in a slump…over there and here a quiet revolution with related article “I’m a foodie-I’d be ashamed to be caught in a McDonalds”
Enjoy the day. May it be all good.
Well, I’m not really a foodie but if any of y’all ever see me in a McD’s call the cops because I’ve been Indy-napped and forcefully dragged in there. I’m glad to know that the Brits, at least, are eating less of that crap.
Well everybody just jumps in the pond at once this morning. How is everybody this am.
Hey Family Man. Planning to do any more yard work today, or are you and George gonna relax?
Morning SN – Nope half a yard burned me out until next week. If I’m lucky it’ll rain or we’ll have a rare blizzard all next week. Since yesterday I’ve become the errand boy for the family. I’ve got a bunch to do today.
I bet errands are a big deal living so far away from everything. Drive safely.
Thanks. Yep got to do a little driving today.
well keep an eye peeled for them 80 year olds on the wrong side of the road. LOL
The 80 year olds better feel lucky I’m not driving at night. 🙂
Well I’ve got to get ready to go into the city. Haven’t been since last week. It’s funny to me now that I call it a city and it has a pop. of a little over 30,000.
Everyone have a good day at work and in the pond.
Don’t let those big city folk corrupt you.
I discovered something which I now want to share with you:
Never wash your Grandmother’s feather quilt in the winter.
Now I didn’t come by this knowledge intuitively, I learned the hard way. 😉
I would be so intimidated trying to figure out how to wash it without ruining it.
What does winter have to do with it, Nag?
No clothesline, no front porch rail to hang it over to gently seperate the feathers. I wouldn’t put it out in below freezing weather. The feathers clump together horribly when wet. I had to put it in the dryer with a pair of tennis shoes. That produced a very fine feather dust that almost cloogged my dryer. It’s dry enough after 2 days to hang it in the house and fluff every few hours. I really made a big mistake by washing it now. I should have known better.
Ah. And oh, dear. To paraphrase your sig line, “Information is a labor-saving device.”
for all the work and agony, and if it had broken your dryer, the Place would definitely be cheaper.
Years ago my Mom took feather pillows to a Place, and they removed the good feathers and replaced them with picky cheap ones. So that would not be an option.
But… the quilt is ok, my dryer’s ok and I’m going off my diet tonight, so life is good! 🙂
I’m off to the store for food… I’d better stop to eat somewhere, or I’ll need a 3rd mortgage by noon.
bad hair day…
bad hair days always seem to follow time days
it’s a law or something
Sympathies, sister. I woke up this morning with a case of bedhead so bad that my layers were pasted back and it looks like I have a fine mullet. Now, while it is true that lesbians are not exactly revered for our sense of style, I do usually like to stay in the current century and out of the Ozarks when it comes to hairdos. But, have I taken a shower yet? No. Do I still look like a random NASCAR fan’s oldest teenage son? Plenty.
I don’t know, I kind of belong to the Ellen DeGeneres, Chastity Bono school of fashion myself. And I’m almost straight, as you know.
Heh, I’ve had a crush on Chastity since we were both 4, and I’ve had a crush on Ellen since I first saw her doing standup back in the 80s…sporting a mullet, I believe she was.
She was indeed sporting a mullet, and a beauty it was. And really, do Converse ever go out of style? I think not.
never go out of style…especally if they’re the pink ones with red hearts.
I think we need a new cafe…I’ll be right back.
Thanks. Mine is slightly on the short side today…good thing it grows fast.
Maybe you should take pictures to post during happy hour today…
I’m far more neurotic than Damnit Janet — who impressed the hell out of me when she had no compunction about posting such a pic of herself. I won’t do it unless I think I look at least halfway decent. I’m a big chicken.
O/T. I sent you an email. Sometimes mine detour to spam filters so please check for it.
On topic: I’ve met you and cannot believe you take a bad photo.
Thanks on both counts! 🙂
I did get your email, I’ll reply shortly.
That seems to be happening a lot lately. I think it’s because I’m in the worst of my work stages: almost caught up. When I’m terribly behind, I tend to head off to the blogs, because “what the heck, I’m behind anyway.” When I’m ahead I know I can coast a little. Right now, I’m a half day behind. And that means I have to work. Sigh. Hope all of you are having a good day. I’ve got to run now because I need to get a couple thousand words in between now and 2:00 when I run off to one of the local SF cons to pontificate (fancy strike through thingy) opine (and again with the strike through) share my insights. (Yeah, that’s it, sharing!)
Hot Darjeeling this morning.
Ta!
Back from the eye doctor and if olivia wants to put up a flower picture, I’m sure I could a version of DTF’s low vision impressions that would violate even BT’s community standards for decency.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
SHeesh! You don’t have to yell – she’s blind, not deaf!
Well, you know, old people. Can’t see, can’t hear, same difference, isn’t it?
I’m sorry … what … uh … oh I must have just drifted off … and …
A bit drippy in Silly Con Valley, but supposed to clear up later in the day, so I can get out and do a few errands. Spouse is going out shopping after work, so I’m on my own for dinner — I’ll either pick up something while I’m out, or be a good spud and eat the Healthy Choice dinner I bought last night.
Gave the spouse an additional option for birthday gift — a good set of portable speakers for my iPod that I can take when traveling. He looked a little less daunted, so I have a feeling he’s going to head for the Apple Store this evening…they’ve got the best selection and they’re very helpful, all he has to do is wear his usual confused look. 😉 (And he can get me the dress watch for an anniversary gift.)
Still trying to figure out what I want to do tomorrow, thought part of the day is going to be stuck doing domestic activites. 🙁 Might possibly take in a movie; he hasn’t seen Chronicles of Narnia yet, and I wouldn’t mind seeing it again. Might check and see if there are any good movies opening today. And I have no idea where I want to go for dinner…
Oatmeal (from above discussion) sounds good this morning — although I’m too lazy to make the real stuff; have some instant on hand that’s actually not too bad. So off to check a few more blogs, then go heat the hot water…have a good day, folks…
good move — telling him exactly what you want from a store that he’ll feel comfortable in is always smart.
Although . . . I DO like to be surprised. It’s such a balance — getting something you actually like / not having to pick it out yourself.
I don’t know why men get really weirded out about picking out jewelry as a gift (including dress watches), but they do. Here’s my trick. You pick a reasonably priced reliable jeweler as your personal jeweler. Go in enough times to let him/her know what you like and don’t like. You don’t have to buy anything, just get to know them and let them in on the plot. Then send him there. They’ll help him pick out something you would like, in his price range, and you’ll be surprised at the actual choice.
If, after all that work to set it up, he gets you a vacuum cleaner. Divorce him.
Morning Cali 🙂 Hey Hockey Picks Reminder – as there’s a game tonight 🙂 Warning: We’ve been reallly really bad in there lately LOL. Pictures of Jesus playing hockey… but it’s our way of venting about Bush I think.
Anyways, when’s your birthday??
Wayne and I did some window shopping just yesterday and I showed him some coolio thingios that I would like. But… guys just don’t get “window shopping” do they?
Was just catching up on last night’s Cafe — if you make it down to SoCal, we’re going to nominate you official bartender. 😉
Birthday tomorrow — freakin’ 47!!! But spouse is 50 in June — been teasing him that I’m going to trade him in on a younger model. Heck, if it’s good enough for Demi Moore… 😉 And you’re right that guys don’t get “window shopping” — he won’t even go into a store if they don’t have a comfy chair where he can sit and read his newspapers…
I have got to see that hockey-playing Jesus…I’m a rare Christian, one with a sense of humor… 🙂
Please know none of us meant to offend you in there 🙂 Some of us had dealings with “Church Ladies” types from another chatroom. The very hypocritical ones who were always easily offended… reason I left the chat. Got to the point I couldn’t discuss antyhing openly. I mentioned Lennon and the ONE got very irate. Then everyone one was all “the room’s no fun anymore”… well duh.. .censorship sucks LOL
I have a few friends who are Christian. You, too. That I truly respect. It’s just… it’s not for me. But I do really like the Jesus part of it… cause thats the part that isn’t about Christianity but HUMANITY 🙂
Pssst Winterhawk from that chat… his son is also autistic and he lives less than 3 miles away LOL> met him via the old hockey chat room. We’re hockey chat refugees some of us. The others started the group and it’s moved around a bit. Reason for the humor and “oddness” of topics there I think. I didn’t start it – it’s not my fault 🙂
things I’ve read was Al Franken’s graphic-novel chapter on “Supply-Side Jesus” in his Lies and Lying Liars book…and Jesus’ General is freakin’ hilarious! (Sometimes you can’t tell the snark from the real news…)
A friend sent me these bush jokes and I just have to share them. There are quite a few so I apologise for the length of the post. LOL
Dick Cheney’s Top 10 Excuses For Shooting Fellow
Hunter
From the home office in blue-state New York, here’s
Vice President Dick Cheney’s top 10 excuses for
shooting fellow hunter Harry Whittington on Saturday:
10. Sick and tired of Whittington’s “Hey, I’m having a heart attack” jokes
9. Pushed over edge by Dixie Chicks and Streisand
blasting on pick-up truck stereo
8. Ongoing dispute over whether it’s acceptable to
torture quail before shooting them
7. Thought he saw Michael Moore on other side of tree
line
6. Bombed out of his gourd on Wild Turkey and Lone
Star Beer
5. Companion’s ill-advised decision to wear Moveon.org sweatshirt
4. Thought perfect score on NRA’s heavy-artillery
safety certification would keep this from happening
3. Whittington’s repeated ribbing that Bush is
actually the “real president”
2. Targeting scope on rifle made by Halliburton
And the number one excuse given by Dick Cheney for
almost blowing away hunting companion Harry
WhittingtonS
1. Because he’s a wartime vice president, damn it
Subject: George Meets the Queen
George Bush meets with the Queen of England.
He asks her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an
efficient government? Are there any tips you can give
to me?”
“Well,” says the Queen, “the most important thing is
to surround yourself with intelligent people.”
Bush frowns. “But how do I know the people around me
are really intelligent?”
The Queen takes a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy. You
just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.” The
Queen pushes a button on her intercom. “Please send
Tony Blair in here, would you?”
Tony Blair walks into the room. “Yes, my Queen?”
The Queen smiles “Answer me this, please, Tony. Your
mother and father have a child. It is not your brother
and it is not your sister. Who is it?”
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers,
“Well, your Majesty, that would be me.”
“Yes, Very good,” says the Queen.
Bush goes back home to ask Dick Cheney, his Vice
President, the same question. “Dick, answer this for
me. Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not
your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”
“I’m not sure,” says Cheney, “let me get back to you
on that one.”
Cheney goes to his Advisors and asks every one, but
no! ne can g ive him an a! nswer. F inally, he ends up in
the men’s room and recognizes Colin Powell’s shoes in
the next stall. Cheney shouts, “Colin! Can you answer
this for me?
Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your
brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Colin Powell yells back, “That’s easy. It’s me!”
Cheney smiles, and says, “Thanks!”
Then, Cheney goes back to speak with Bush. “Say, I did
some research and I have the answer to that riddle.
It’s Colin Powell.”
Bush gets up, stomps over to Cheney and angrily yells
into his face,
“No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”
————————————-
Q: What’s the difference between Groundhog Day and President Bush’s
State of the Union Address?
A: One of them is a quaint but hollow ritual in which millions of Americans
look to a small, pathetic creature of little intelligence and limited
capacities to tell us what the future will bring.
The other one involves a groundhog.
________________
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the United Methodist Church
outside Washington as part of his campaign. Bush’s campaign manager made a
visit to the Pastor, and said to him, “We’ve been getting a lot of bad publicity
among Methodists because of Bush’s position on stem cell research and the
like. We’d gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your
sermon you’d say the President is a saint.”
The pastor thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, “The
Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it.”
Bush pompously shows up looking especially smug today and as the
sermon progresses the pastor begins his homily: “George Bush is petty,
a self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a
low-intelligence weasel.
He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself
in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating ‘Mission
Accomplished.’ He invaded a country for oil and money, and is using it to
lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a United Methodist I’ve
ever personally known. But compared to Dick Cheney and the rest of his cabinet,
George Bush is a saint.”
_________
still have an account over at the Orange Empire, go over and recommend Steven D’s diary — I don’t want it to drop off into the Ether(net)…
Boo is having pringles. He loves pringles.
I prefer lays but hey a chip is a chip. LOL
Hey, all — greetings from these white, blustery mountains. The sun is shining, the wind whips our new snow into a tarantella with every breath.
I’d truly enjoy hiking down to the general store in ‘town’ today, but wind chills are hovering ’round about near -7. A four hour hike might not be the greatest idea.
Hope everyone’s faring well. Supposedly I’ve got chores to attend to. Ha ha. Brrr.
Chores?…..pffffffft! Your writing is so poetic it sometimes make me want to live up there in the frozen tundra with no electricity and a four mile hike to the nearest civilization. And then I come to my senses.
I just realized you probably do have electricity, unless your computer has a hamster wheel attached.
when Wally World was selling some ultra-cheap laptops on the day after Thanksgiving and people were stampeding over each other to get them — a talk show host said if you opened the case, the processor was probably a squirrel on a wheel… 🙂
Keep warm. Cover up. Be careful. Have a something hot to drink.
::okay mom, I got those. what’s next::
cluck cluck
Of course, I’m torn on whether to respond since that might make you delurk again and cause you to have to refigure your billable six minutes yet again.
Just wanted to say “hi” and Happy Birthday to me 🙂
I’m on my way out for fun & festivities so don’t hate me for not being here to shower ya’ll with 4’s 😉
Have a great day all!
Got mine tomorrow — but bet I’m a lot older than you. 🙁
Actually don’t mind birthdays…especially considering the alternative. 😉
Have a great one! Here’s the goodies:
Better be careful, keeping having those things and before you know it, you’ll be joining me in the geriatric bloggers old folks home.
Have a happy b’day!
Go and sin some more.
Happy Birthday!!!!!
Okay, so I’m sitting here in my PJs cruising the Internets.
I had MacDaily News open in Safari, checking the news, when I hear this “Hello!” come from my iMac speakers. I totally freaked out! “Hello! Hello!” it kept calling. I was so panicked I closed out Safari, Firefox, and Entourage (email program) — I left open iTunes because I was listening to Rachel Maddow so figured it was safe.
May have been some sort of audio ad designed to get my attention, but it just totally spooked me…wonder how many heart attacks that damn thing has caused…
ROTFLMAO!!!! I hate those damn talking ads. They have scared me a few times. LOL
here.
Please unrecommend this one on your way out!