As I’m sure some of you know, a few of the brave souls who serve in the 101st Fighting Keyboardists have put together a movement to wear the chickenhawk moniker with the pride it so surely deserves. They even have a logo:
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It seems they eat chicken for lunch. Bravo!
Well actually, I don’t know how I feel about having chicken for lunch. I’ve always found chicken to be the dullest of all the fowl. Dry, funky and flavorless for the most part. Sure, a good cook can work wonders, but I live life on the go damnit. If fowl is going to be on the lunch menu, it really ought to be the finest of all fowl. If you aren’t a fool, you know I’m talking about duck. Personally, I have duck for lunch at least once a week, as well as two or three times a week for dinner. Ah sweet, fatty, succulent, heavenly duck, how I adore thee. Have chicken for lunch if you like, but don’t be surprised when I call you something quite rude while I’m licking plum sauce and duck fat from my greasy fingers. I digress.
One might be tempted to giggle and dismiss the whole affair as perhaps the worst attempt to turn an insult into a point of pride in modern history, but then it gets just a little worse. It appears that CENTCOM has endorsed the 101st Fighting Keyboardists brave efforts to wage war absent said Keyboardists’ participation in the suffering and dying bit.
Captain Ed posts the following email sent to a member of the 101st Fighting Keyboardists, directly from US Central Command:
Hi, Kiril:
I caught your post about the 101st Fighting Keyboardists. Good luck with the project! I’m not sure if you have been to the US Central Command website but we regularly post news, photos, audio and video from Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. You (and your fellow bloggers) are welcome to use any materials you find on our site. If you’d like to receive the weekly electronic newsletter and monthly Coalition Bulletin, just ask.
If you could add a link to CENTCOM, it’d be appreciated (I’m trying to spread the word about our site!). I’ve attached the CENTCOM logo, should you want to use it with the link. Thanks!
SPC C. Flowers
CENTCOM Public Affairs
As you might imagine, Captain Ed is Pumped:
It’s very gratifying to get this kind of validation for our effort, but I know from our correspondence that Centcom appreciates the support they receive from many people across the blogosphere. I wonder how many will refer to Centcom as chickenhawks? […]
For those who argue that Centcom didn’t endorse this in an official way … well, no kidding. It’s hardly a form letter, either. Did anyone notice where SPC Flowers wrote, “I caught your post about the 101st Fighting Keyboardists. Good luck with the project”? That sounds to me like SPC Flowers appreciates this blogospheric effort to support the mission and the troops. He’s certainly encouraging us to continue it.
I’m glad the good Captain brought up that bit about form letters, because I really hate form letters. They mostly come in the form of email spam and corporate holiday cards these days, but the form letter is still alive, well and looking for a sucker. Email spam, in particular, is so ubiquitous, and often well crafted, that just wading into your inbox can make it difficult to discern reality from fiction some days. A few weeks ago, my friend Noz was good enough to point out a really nasty bit of spam he received, which clearly targeted horible, stupid, awful, smelly, naive bloggers.
Hi:
I was reading your post about Gen. Abizaid and wanted to let you know that the US Central Command website, http://www.centcom.mil, features news, photos, audio and video from Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. You’re welcome to use any materials you find on our site. If you’d like to be signed up for the weekly electronic newsletter and monthly Coalition Bulletin, just ask.
If you could add a link to CENTCOM, that would be great (I’m trying to spread the word about our site). Thanks!
SPC C. Flowers
CENTCOM Public Affairs
Snark aside, I’m a little pissed that, to date, PSC C. Flowers hasn’t sent me a damn thing. I don’t admit to it in polite company, but I am a blogger. A smelly one at that. Why the hell hasn’t Flowers asked me to push a little government propaganda? I’m more than just a bit hurt. If PSC Flowers is reading this, he/she should know that I have very few morals and will do just anything if it makes me feel like I’m one of the cool kids. Just throw me a bone babe.
Just to show I’m a good sport and harbor no ill will, I’ll provide the text of the email Flowers should send me, so all that he/she has to do is copy and paste.
Dear Mr. Baldwin [Ed: I’m old school and insist on formalities. Don’t go around saying “Hey Chris!” until you know me from a hole in the wall.],
I caught your post about Cat Shit Coffee. Good luck with the liquid feline feces! I’m not sure if you have been to the US Central Command website but we regularly post news, photos, audio and video from Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. You (and your fellow bloggers) are welcome to use any materials you find on our site. If you’d like to receive the weekly electronic newsletter and monthly Coalition Bulletin, just ask.
If you could add a link to CENTCOM, it’d be appreciated (I’m trying to spread the word about our site!). I’ve attached the CENTCOM logo, should you want to use it with the link. Thanks!
SPC C. Flowers
CENTCOM Public Affairs
I won’t go on because the rest is too awful.
(Via some guy with a broken wrist)
[Update]Ask and you shall receive. SPC Flowers left me a very nice little note in a comment on the cross posted version of this post that I put on my site. He even called me Mr. Baldwin. As promised, all future posts will include government propaganda.
Wow, at first I thought this was a joke … until I read on. Holy Crap! Spamaganda now? Glad I have my filters set on high, since apparently the wingnuts don’t and they love getting taken in by this sort of stuff.
I suppose we could just take this (if officer Flowers is indeed for real) as just another sign of desperation on their part, but sometimes I really do wonder … sure looks like “hurling the propaganda” to me.
Tell ya one thing, Chris… if I see anyone sporting that insignia/logo/whatever, they will be in for a serious lashing with a smelly, raw, foul fowl.
Captain Ed is a moron. And you need to watch your cholesteral.
I haven’t had it checked since I was a kid, but I’ve noticed recently that my blood has the consistancy of Vaseline. Do you think that’s a bad sign?
I think so. You might want to switch over to chicken.
has graphic punch and the stylized hawk has a kind of mid-twentieth century, um, German look, doncha think? The motto really turns the insult of being a cowardly hawk into the lesser insult of being a hawk that feeds on defenseless poultry usually contained inside the fences of barnyards. Kinda like a caged quail hunt… Yes, this is deeply revealing on multiple levels.
Let them cluck amongst themselves, no one else is buying it. We progressives have our own symbols rich in history and empowered by truth.
Particularly the new design that Rummy implemented by getting rid of the “old crew” can now not ever have an I.Q. that exceeds it’s Commander in Chief. Nor can it have a sense of taste, truth, common sense, or decency that exceeds that of the Commander in Chief either. I don’t think it would be tooooo hard to call CENTCOM chickenhawks, after all they’re only logistics and really – this administration has made it clear that the Rand Corporation can do that and probably needs to do that as soon as possible so that SPC C. Flowers can join his fellow soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq. Have a great time visiting those global destinations SPC C. Flowers. See ya around!
Terrific post! I’m glad to see that the blogistas are doing their part to save us from terror. Everybody has to chip in, after all. George Bush can’t conquer global terror all on his own … or can he?
Oh well, at least we know now that the Chickenhawks are backing him up, and Colonel Flowers, too!
I’m going to sleep a lot better tonight.
Thanks, my brave countrymen, for keeping us safe from evildoers.
Look at that eagle. It’s the Prussian eagle used as a symbol for German governments from the Prussian empire to the current Bundesrepublik, including the Third Reich.
Nice touch there, guys.
But the point is not that they are chickenhawks, but they are hawk-chickens.
Especially chicken and turkey.
Yeah, either can be overcooked to the point of sawdust, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Chicken can be the most wonderful of dishes. As Julia Child observed, you can tell a lot about a cook by the way that they cook their chicken.
I always order chicken (ideally, a simple roasted half bird with garlic mashed potatoes) when I try out a restaurant for the first time.
If it’s good, I’ll go back and order their other stuff. If it’s no good, I just don’t go back. There are too many good restaurants out there to waste time with the lousy ones.
Brining chicken and turkey is as simple as it is essential. Just add salt and white sugar to an amount of water adequate to cover the meat, and let sit in a fridge for at least 4, and up to 24, hours. Remove the meat from the brine, shake off the excess, and blot dry.
You can then proceed with the rest of your preparation (herbs under the skin or whatever), truss (if a whole bird), and cook.
To make the brine, just add enough salt and sugar so that you can readily taste each in the water, but not so much that the taste is overpowering or unpleasant.
We mostly cook our chicken outdoors with hardwood or hardwood charcoal, year round. We deep fry our turkeys.
You should also brine pork in the same fashion, but never beef or lamb. The myoglobin in the muscle of the beef and lamb is essential for its flavor, and brining leeches out the myoglobin.
Bon appetit!
As for the wingnuts – I say fuck ’em.
But we love and support our troops.
“We are chickens, and we want you to eat us for lunch.” Only some people will leer at that, you know who you are.