Thank God “I” was born into a Good Christian Home, to Heterosexual Parents.
Whereas my poor grand daughter was born a year ago, to homosexual parents.
By the time I’d reached her age, my father was long gone, having found a woman he liked better than my Mom, to have other babies he must have liked better than he liked me.
This almost destroyed my poor Mom, who then went on to marry abusive husband number two, and then abusive husband number three, thus assuring we both would never run out of abusive men who really enjoyed having a small target to abuse in whatever manner they chose, as well as her.
But at least “I” was raised..by a mother AND and not one, but three Good Christian fathers.
Now this poor little baby girl, on the other hand, wasn’t nearly so fortunate. She is doomed to live smack in the center of a whole VILLAGE of men and women, both gay and straight.
She just has two very mature, very powerful mothers who waited to bring her into the world, until they knew they could take excellent care of a little one.
She will have to endure living in the center of a huge circle of gay and straight grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and close family friends, men and women, who are ALL devoted to having a roll in her life. Fact is, we practically have to stand in line to have quality time with this poor little baby girl.
She will be baptized next Sunday in the open and affirming Christian church she attends every Sunday with her Moms. We’re worried that we all will take up so much of the space there won’t be room for regular churchgoers. Poor, poor lil’ Ivy.
Now here’s a question for YOU, “Mr” Bush , and your wonderful, god chosen base, on this bright and beautiful Gay Bashing Monday:
Which of the two children described above had/has the best chance of growing up whole and healthy human beings who are productive tax paying American Citizens?
(And which set of adults involved will most certainly vote in November, against your kind?)
I will not be watching your Rose Garden speech today, supporting more hatred of gay people for selfish, political reasons, not caring one damned bit who you may be harming by fanning these kinds of hate filled flames.
You, and your precious “base”, are small, ugly human beings who don’t have the first CLUE what a real Anmerican is, or a REAL Chirstian either.
And you are going DOWN.
that was just beautiful Scribe and I would love if you would cross post that to Village Blue.
Thanks, Diane. Just another “sanity saver” for me: if I write it out, the anger is a bit easier to live with. I’ll try to get over there to post it..but I have run out for awhile now. feel go ahead if you want to put it up there. (It’s open for use by anyone who wants to post it elsewhere..)
really were of any concern to this administration and the fundies it loves to placate. Then maybe we’d have universal health care, safe and decent housing, affordable quality day care, foreign aid that cared more about keeping children alive than in paying for weapons to kill them, sex education to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies, sufficient shelters to protect the abused and …
Stop making sense! 😉
..yeah, Andif, doncha know it’s what you say that counts..not what you do? (if you’re a winger, that is)
Gay people. The last bastion for bigots. (Well, I’m sure the bigots will find some group once gay people earn their freedom).
Congratulations on the grandchild.
You mean other than immigrants?
Thanks, Joe. At only a year pf age, she is already a force to be recconned with. Let’s just SEE someone try to treat her as some second class citizen when she’s full grown..:)
Ban Heterosexual Marriage! How do they think we got all those gay children?
There ya go telling the truth again. LOL
It is a funny thing, all of the gay people I know had heterosexual parents. Even funnier, overwhelming number of gays I know who have children. . .all most all of the children are hetero too. Must be something in the water.
Throughout history the numbers of gay offspring seem to be very consistent at about 10%. . .some studies say it may be 15-20%, but most agree on the 10% figure. Makes ya wonder, eh?
Seriously though, dads are great when they’re present and involved. But I can’t think of anything better than having two nurturing moms who wanted you more than anything in the world.
Yep, they are. I wish all children could have loving, involved Dads to grow up with and learn from.
I think all kids benefit greatly from having good and loving men in their lives, whether its a father role or uncle role or whatever role they draw in a childs life. I know it was a huge void in my own, that has cost me dearly over my lifetime.
It has been a real blessing to get to know some wonderful fathers now..here and elsewhere. I can only imagine how great it would have been to have had men like that in my life, growing up.
For sure! “dad” can be any involved loving guy related or not. I know what you mean, Scribe, about missing it. My adoptive father was a really good man, but we had a hard time interacting with each other. . .I don’t know if it was his inability to connect, or my wariness of men in general, or some of each, but I never had a relationship with him. It would have been nice. The few times we did try to interact or discuss with each other when I was older (teenager), we were on such opposite sides of every topic that there wasn’t much headway to be made.
Once my younger brother was born, that was his only interest. . .his son. . .or so it seemed to me. Maybe I was just a jealous kid, who knows. I focused all my attention on the little guy too. He was a terific kid.
Very nice diary, Scribe.
Thats why I drank and caroused so much. I wanted my kids to be the opposite of me. And guess what? They are, thankfully.
LOLOL! Oh thank you..for the badly needed laugh!
I look at my “family” and this is what I see:
Me and my wife of 24 years, both pretty whitebread types of European descent, so far as we can tell;
My three children, all from my wife’s first marriage to a Mexican;
My son’s wife, adopted and raised in Eastern Washington, and their daughter;
My other son, who is getting married in July to his long time significant other, who is half Thai;
Their two children, who if you’re keeping count have at least Anglo/Scandinavian, Thai and Mexican heritage that I know about;
Our granddaughter, actually a foster child from a white mother and a black father (the mother was son #2’s girlfriend when the granddaughter was born — it’s a very long story that I’ve told elsewhere);
Our granddaughter’s biological father, his current SO, and their one-year-old son;
Various of our granddaughter’s mother’s relations who are still in her life and like to see her every chance they get;
An 86-year-old friend of the family my daughter does caregiving for that my wife is as close to is she is to her mother, if not more so;
And various assorted sisters, brothers, in-laws, cousins, nephews, nieces, two surviving parents, and friends of all stripes, including one family member who after two different marriages to the same woman is coming to grips with his own sexuality (cross-dressing, so far as I know).
Some of these people are not blood relatives, but I dare anyone to tell me why (other than some permission slip from the government somewhere along the way) the family ties to any of them are any less strong than those three husbands scribe’s mother had. (I hesitate to call them “fathers.”) Or, for that matter, how the Queen of the Universe, whose worst current problem is that she is mad at me because I wouldn’t let her wear her rollerblades to school this morning, would be better off with her mother, who since she signed the custody papers has fallen off the face of the earth.
Family is what you make it, and that’s true no matter what the government says. I’ll take a family that has two loving dads or two doting moms over an abusive heretosexual relationship ten times out of ten and twice on Sundays.
You are so right: family IS what you make of it. It’s heartbreakaking to see so many adult gay people who have been rejectd by unaccepting families, and how good it is we can move on from that to create chosen families of our own.
Your family sounds absolutly wonderful, and how fortunate are all of the children to be raised in such a rich, diverse atmosphere.
Bless you and your “family” for showing unconditional love instead of the hatred and intolerance the Bush Regime promotes. I have many “godChildren” who are now grown who were raised by gay or lesbian parents and I know they are loved. I was raised by a single mom after my deadbeat dad left us high and dry. What a beautiful dairy and very touching in how it explains both sides of the story these assholes never see or understand.
Excellent article, Scribe. I hope you don’t mind me rattling on about my experiences as a tag-on to yours. What you had to say inspired me to speak on this subject as someone who has been there and knows how the good is embedded in the practice of loving behaviors.
But firstly: What is it about the “christian republicanism” exclusivity that inspires so much fear/anger/hatred for people who are different (diversely democratic?)?
I can’t even call them fundamentalists anymore, because fundamentally, Jesus brought a new message of love and inclusion for ALL people. I wonder what happened to that?
Christianity + Republicanism + Homosexuality….
wow! What a frightening stew. Worse than a nuclear weapons threat. And right here on our own soil! Down with the Mutants! Find those Mutant Cells and Cure them of their mutation! I’m an X-Men Fan and what a metaphor they are for people who are different!
Whoa, don’t get me started here.
Ok, back on topic now….
Obviously, having a “good Christian, Republican daddy” as was Mary Cheney’s experience did not seem to have a hetero influence on her life. She is still a practicing lesbian. And as far as I know, all the gay and lesbian people I have ever met… have had hetereosexual parents and mostly christian backgrounds too, including me.
Where did they all go wrong? lol
(I say that tongue-in-cheek.)
Personally, I was fortunate enough to parent a beautiful, intelligent, now 19 year old, daughter. Her birth mother and I, though unpartnered now, continue to parent this extraordinary child. My daughter grew up in a world of inclusion, exploration and unlimited possibilities.
As a young woman now, my daughter received the second highest scholarship for undergraduate and graduate work at a prestigious college. She has a loving, extended family of abundant diverse relatives and other assorted kin. She’s traveled all over the US, seen every kind of museum possible, attended leadership workshops in Washington DC. I taught her about religion from the gods of Pharoah to the god of the Bible, including goddess religion and reincarnationism. She’s been gifted with unlimited female and male affection from family and friends.
So how has she turned out thus far? She is vegan by choice (since age 9), bi-sexual by inner discernment and has mostly a Buddhist frame of reference (by choice) as her understanding of life. I am none of those things, so I know I didn’t influence her. 🙂
The bottom line is: children will grow into complete and unique human beings, if they are brought up in a loving, open, encouraging home… period.
I have two lesbian friends that raised a daughter and both “presented her” to her husband at her wedding in a Unitarian church. So two lesbians raised a heterosexual daughter. My… my… my… what a miracle. 😉
In my mind, if it is ok to be raised by a single Mom or single Dad, wouldn’t it make it double-ok to be raised by 2 Moms or 2 Dads? It makes sense to me. 🙂
Stories of families are rich and diverse. It is good to hear about them…. all of them. In my world, a “traditional” family is one that offers you a history, a safe, loving home, a supportive lifelong connection, a unique role of diginity and respect that you are encouraged to fulfill. I did not have that. I am happy to say: my daughter was brought up in a traditional family…. with traditional family values.
Thanks Scribe. Your story encouraged me to tell mine. Though I read Booman periodically, I’ve never posted here before, so…. hello to everyone and thanks for the exceptional people and perspectives that populate this forum 🙂
Best wishes, Whisel*
welcome whisel. Today is a good day to chime in. Welcome to the frog pond.
<<<<My daughter grew up in a world of inclusion, exploration and unlimited possibilities.<<<<p>
Which should be the birthrght of every child, if you ask me. Sp glad you were inspired to post.
I especially love how you reclaim the phrase “tradtional family” to mean
” a family(that) that offers you a history, a safe, loving home, a supportive lifelong connection, a unique role of diginity and respect that you are encouraged to fulfill.” Way ta GO! And welcome to BooLand! I hope to hear more from you!
… and Thank You for sharing your story with us!
and joining the conversation. I see by your user number that you’ve been around for a while, so you probably already know about the froggy bottom. But if you don’t, or if you’re just feeling like doing a little more posting, please stop over and say hi. There’s always one in the recent diaries list, and often one that’s on the recommended list.
What a lucky daughter you have, Whisel. Thanks for sharing your story here. I count myself as priveleged to have interacted with you a bit at “The Village.”
Your definition of family is the same as mine. And what a blessing a family like that is. I surely count myself as extraordinarily blessed by the amazing, loving members of my family that I have found along the way. . .and as Omir said, I don’t know by what accident we weren’t born into some family scheme, but it has been fabulous discovering them as I have moved through my life.
Big Hugs
Shirl
Thanks for this insightful and well-stated diary. It was great to read your explanation of why parenting is based on commitment, devotion, caring, love, and support. Family is something that has lost its meaning over the years due to the inability of individuals taking their responsibilities seriously. Sexual orientation is not the problem, being a responsible and caring parent is the lost art.
My mother told me that a village raises a child, but this concept is lost in the shouts of bigotry, hate, and desire to morally control others. Most of the individuals who are shouting, can not even stop to help their neighbor because they do not believe what I believe mentality.
Action speaks louder than words and one day, it will reveal itself in a manner that can not be ignored. Thanks again for sharing with us this wonderful and real life example of true family!!
Thank you Booman, Olivia and Scribe for your welcome and comments.
Thank you vieravisionary for your further affirmation of family values. I truly believe that to act and embrace everyone as part of the “village” creates inroads into the isolation and seclusion of superiority.
And as for the words of wisdom imparted to you by your Mother, well obviously, she raised a healthy, well-rounded child. 🙂
Thank you again and best wishes always,
Whisel*
It is kind of ironic, but today of all days, I received an email from a gay film maker with whom I had the pleasure to work a year or so ago. He was letting me know that his film “The Betsy Wetsy Time Bomb Effect” was in two more festivals and he most likely has a distribution deal.
It is a film I am very proud to have worked on. (My character spends most of the movie in a coma, so it is hardly an acting tour de force for me.) What mattered to me was that is was a beautiful, humane, funny film about a gay couple deciding whether or not to have a child. It looks at the issues of what we all need to fulfill ourselves, and of what it means to be a family.
It is a film that could have been angry and cathartic — and put people on the defensive. Instead, it is a really sensitive, loving look at certain aspects of humanity. It made me so happy that on this ugly, hate-filled day, a wonderful gay film maker got some great news.
Oh, I hope this film becomes available to all of us. Please let us know when and if it does, and how we can get it.
Thanks, I shall.
family. How exciting. I have to admit that I never thought this administration would have ever reached the point that they have or done so much to seemingly create hate and to abuse others so viciously. I still remember when that idiot said that Jesus Christ was his role model………must have been a different Jesus Christ than the one I’m familiar with. Who knew there was two of them?
Being gay has always meant being subjected to the ignorant bigoty embraced by those Christians who have chosen thier own intepretaion of Jesuss messages, and what he stood for. It never ends. We live with it everywhere, and especially in settings like this senior apartment complex full of older generation white, midwest raised Christians.
Just last night, while waiting for the elevator in I was “treated” to a loud discussion nearby, where an older god fearing Christian fella was earnestly explaing to a younger guy. why gay people will never be accepted into heaven, and how he “loves the sinner” but “hates the sin.”
I’m almost certain this man can’t even imagine that right here, in his own building.. him, dwells..(shudder!) some old… lesbians!
I hadn’t been so tired, I’d have steered my scooter over there..and said, in my best dramatic voice, “Oh NO! IT CAN’T BE! Is this REALLY TRUE?! oh my GOD! You mean…(dissovingin tears) ..I DON’T GET TO GO TO HEAVEN?!” But you never know who has a bad heart around here, and I was too tired to risk having to do session of CPR.
Many of my very nice Christian neighbors have, however, received the shock of asking me questions like..”Did the baby get her red hair from her mother or her father?” and hearing me respond cheerfully “This baby has two mothers, and yes, she takes after my daughter.”
The reactions are varied and rather amusing. There is usually this blank, totally befuddled look, quickly covered by the typical “Minnesota Nice” tight and fakey smile, and quick change of subject.
But there have been a few brave souls, who have genuinely wished to understand more of how this can even be. I will engage with this kind: it is a golden oportunity for this baby and I, together, to open some minds. She has already won over many of them with her sweetmess, her joy, and her genuine love of all people.
And a little child..shall lead them.
And a little child..shall lead them.