Diebold announces “unhackable” VERSION 8.0

Just in time for the 2006 midterms, Diebold has boldly taken e-voting one step further with their new VERSION 8.0 of their electronic voting machines.

(NEW MACHINE REVEALED BELOW THE FOLD!!)

Introducing…

Diebolds VERSION 8.0

You may ask — “Where is the touch-screen?”

or — “How do I vote with this exciting new technology?”

Good questions!

Diebold has advanced voting technology into the future with this little baby.  In fact, some may wonder if the blue-prints were given to Diebold by innovative space aliens.

You see, voting has never been easier — thanks to Diebold.

With Diebold’s patented “alpha-wave technology ®” — one merely has to think of who she wants to vote for and “voila!”, the vote is tabulated.

–  no more embarrassing instances of voting for one candidate only to see that you voted for another candidate on the screen

–  no more messy paper jams

–  accessible to all

And counting the votes has never been easier!!  Election workers need not be trained anymore (think of the money that will save!!).

1. Simply ask the question — for example, “Did Jebb Bush come up with the most votes with this machine?”

2. Flip the machine upside-down and “presto!” — the results are in, chief.

Thank God for American innovation!

Sec. of State Condaleeza Rice endorsing Version 8.0:

This prototype of Version 8.0 was found to be too small to be trusted by the Diebold design team (people seemed to have a tremendous urge to endorse candidates who had an affinity to snooker):

One of the software engineers getting into the fun:

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If you get the seriousness behind this satirical diary, please visit this Flash Slapdown presentation…


(click the pic)

American democracy is at stake.