I know, this might get me slammed over here, it might not. I have watched the past few days and have been disenchanted, to say the least. That said, I also have hopes that these words will be welcomed here… Actually, I know they will be. My heart and soul are in a good place, and I know the heart and soul of BT are in the same place.
A bit of background… I’m in a delicate spot at the moment… My doggie Jasper, of not quite 14 years, passed away in my arms within the past month… My ex-brother-in-law, who is my age, a young 36, has been diagnosed with cancer throughout his body, and they closed him up because they could do no more… He has two kids, aged almost 3 and 7, and yeah, that has fucked with me a lot. He is the sweetest guy, was separated from his wife, though she is now very fully by his side. And yeah, I fear the next time I will see these people will be at his funeral. I hate that. I’ve been watching the ex-hubby’s dogs more than usual, so he can go be with him and his family on the weekends.
I made the decision months ago that I would go and volunteer at Yearly Kos, and that was my first real act of doing. I’m getting into local politics now, to elect dems instead of repubs, of course, but YK was the stepping stone for me. I worked the registration desk, and I worked it hard. I thought there would be another woman to step in for me when I wanted to go see a panel or such, but that wasn’t the case. She did a lot to help the cause beforehand, but it was me to be there in person. So I worked from 7am to 7:30pm the first day, after spending several hours stuffing bags the afternoon beforehand, then got a bit of a reprieve the next morning. Meaning, I showed up at 10:30 am the next day. Since the panels were already underway, I felt the need to help out at the desk again. Which I did for the majority of the day. I did the same on Saturday… although things had definitely slowed down. But I was still there.
I did see 10 minutes of Barbara Boxer’s speech, Markos’ speech on Thursday night, got up for Howard Dean’s 8:00 am speech on Saturday morning (then went back to the desk), Harry Reid’s speech, missed Mark Warner’s speech, but did go high up to the `party’ for about 45 minutes, was at PastorDan’s interfaith service, which was harder than I thought it would be for me, for personal reasons, and attended/coordinated a Cheers and Jeers meeting on Saturday night. It was a long extended weekend. I would do it the same way next year. For me, this was my first jump into politics, other than blogging, emailing, phone calling, letter writing etc… And it felt damn good.
One of my finer memories was of seeing this man go past in the hallway, his nametag said `RubDMC’ as he went past… I went running down the hall to meet him, to thank him… He hugged me… I try to actively be a part of his Daily Iraq War Grief Diaries, and I usually am able to find them on Booman Tribune, and sometimes on Daily Kos. I so needed to introduce myself to him… Cuz he knew me through my screenname, and I just needed to say thank you to him. Which I did. Meeting him and thanking him was one of the most poignant parts of that weekend… Seriously…
I also met several other folks, mostly Cheers and Jeers’ers, cuz that’s where I predominantly hang out, although I read just about everything on DK, BT, etc… I got to `officially’ introduce myself to MSOC, whose writing I adore, even if I don’t visit daily. I got to meet Joe Wilson, George Lakoff, numerous DKer’s whom I can’t name, cuz I was working the desk. I didn’t hear anyone speak, unfortunately, but I don’t care. I got to meet and greet a good chunk of people. And the people I worked with were just the best. I’d do YK the same way in a heartbeat.
I met CabinGirl, Booman, boran2, clammyc… people from Booman Tribune… I so wish I could have spent more time with them, but honestly, I was exhausted from working. I saw Larry Johnson, but didn’t officially meet him, unfortunately. I’m up at 3:30am now, and I guess what I want to say, is that I am so happy to have been there. Yes, there has been shit after that, but what I took away from the event, was a period of working, of acting, of doing, and of bringing that forward into my state and into my life. As I’ve said, this was my stepping stone into action. Whatever folks are fighting for, I’m now fighting for it at my level, in my state, in my home, and that is what counts.
I’m sorry if this sounds ramblely, but it is late, but I did need to get it out of my head. So throw tips, flames, retorts, whatever, but for me, this event was my stone. And it’s been over a week now, but I’ve finally gotten out of my head what I felt I wanted to say. And I’m humbled by all those greater than me that I’ve met, and I’m promising to work for a better tomorrow, cuz today just really sucks. The state of our nation sucks and I’m gonna be working to change that… This is my stepping stone… And I needed it…
Sherm, thanks so much for sharing your experience. I really wish I could’ve gone to YearlyKos and met you and hung out with the rest of the bloggers there. I’ve gone to meetups and enjoyed the fellowship that is instant when you gather with other like-minded people who are sick of the direction our country is currently stumbling.
I hate the divisions that exist, but I also understand why they’re there for some. Know that I appreciate your contributions and willingness to lay everything out for us, especially the time you’ve spent dealing with the loss of Jasper. Our politics are ultimately driven by what brings us happiness and passion in life, that’s why I love the storytelling aspect of many diaries. Peace to you, and thanks again.
sounds like it was good for you. i’m curious why you preface your report with the blanket disapproval:
the beginning and end of this diary read to me as emotionally manipulative and passive aggressive. no one’s going to attack you over here for volunteering at YK, or for enjoying it, or being inspired by it. the supposition that someone might seems to me to relate to your misreading of the situation.
the implication you make, and then step back from, is that people at BT are apt to attack you for volunteering your time. if you don’t believe it, don’t unaccountably imply it.
as it is, the underlaying message you seem to be presenting is: Dkos gives hope to the hopeless, while the people who post at BT are so unreasonable that they might very well attack a person for volunteering. if you strip all that stuff out, you’ll be left with a diary that reports your experience and sense of inspiration without the emotional manipulation and barbs aimed at your readers.
Geez,
I didn’t see all that Simon. I don’t know how long you lurked here before you joined, but if you’ve spent any amount of time reading here you’de know that Shermanesqe is the least aggressive, passive or not, or manipulative person you can find.
First of all, how about a little compassion for someone who just poured her hurts out here in public. How about you try saying something like this: So sorry to here of your troubles, hope everything works out.
It’s clear that she’s upset and unsure about the reaction she’ll get here after watching the inter-blog warfare of the last week. That’s her reason for worrying about being flamed. Damn. Are you a psychiatrist or something? Please don’t make online diagnosis’. Leave that for Bill Frist.
i hear what you’re saying, and regret having posted that comment. unfortunately, comments cannot be withdrawn.
one thing: i didn’t make a diagnosis.
and one other thing: i read Shermanesqe as asking for all sorts of feedback. for me, that’s the sort of feedback i’d want. but, i’m drawn to what seem to me odd juxtapositions of emotion.
so for me, your suggestion would have been disengenuous. but, could i do it again, i’d simply ask why she imagined that she’d get attacked for this diary. it still strikes me as odd, despite your explanation. and i’m curious.
ok, now reading the opening again i reckon that you’re explanation is accurate. i could explain why i misunderstood as i misunderstood, but suffice it to say i misunderstood.
my apologies, Shermanesqe. thanks, supersoling
I’d like to think that Shermanesqe would know enough about us to keep her from being unsure of how her posts about Ykos would be recieved. But on the other hand, I can understand her reluctance and uncertainty too. From the outside looking in, the last few days probably haven’t looked too welcoming to regular members of dKos. Of course there’s something much deeper happening besides just casual hostility. But I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt because she’s dealing with a lot of painful things in her life right now.
Sorry if i came across as too scolding. I didn’t intend to.
your response helped.
thanks.
Thanks Super. Very much…
And to Simon, I just don’t like seeing the discord that I have seen recently, here and elsewhere. So for some reason, in the middle of the morning/night, I felt the need for a disclaimer of sorts, I guess. Perhaps I should have just put my feelings down and left it at that, but I didn’t. I’m sorry for that. I just wanted to share my experience and leave it at that.
Hi Shermanesque!
I add my condolences for your troubles and my congratulations for you service to our cause. I hope you will take more time to write up your transformative adventure and share it with us. Yearly Kos was a unique event and I admire and envy everyone who participated!
Also, since you express regret for some of the remarks you made, which seem pejorative to the BT community, you can update your diary — which I understand was written in the middle of the night — to revise the parts that many of us here find confusing. I would also respectfully suggest revising the title, since I don’t think there is anyone here who wouldn’t understand why you worked at YK.
Just a suggestion…. IMHO.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{shermanesque}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
You were honest, and given how much you have gone through lately and how much you are dealing with, remarkable coherent.
I am glad you got to go to YKos, we all need those “stepping stones” in our lives. We didn’t have the $$$ to spare on the trip, and to be honest, I doubt I would have gone anyway. I would have liked the meeting of the C&J folks, though, and I’d love one day to have a picture with Barbara Boxer…:-)
Thinking good, warm thoughts for you while you deal with things. Big hugs.
Hi Shermanesqe,
thanks for replying. the flow of your diary confused me, because it seemed to me that there was this little barb at the beginning that really couldn’t be addressed given the heartbreaking stuff you’ve been going through.
after that first paragraph i expected to read another peace-making diary that’s actually a slam. there were a few of those yesterday, and they bug me – mostly because the people who write them really seem to think that they’re trying to make peace. so, my criticism carried a bunch of extra frustrated energy. i’m sorry for that.
i wanted to separate your opening bit from the rest of the diary, which i found interesting and moving. i’m sorry that i didn’t do a better job of suggesting that the defensive preface was unnecessary – and could be read as a bit insulting. i’m glad that despite that, you were able to take the point.
best wishes,
those who post in green and orange, seem to keep us balanced..keep up the good work.
yeah, I see you pulling back somewhat down thread, but really – save the psychobabble and judgemental impressions for some other place, person, and time that’s not ever HERE.
Jeesh
Sherman, I’m so sorry to read of your troubles. I don’t understand why life works this way, but it seems that our troubles come not one at a time, but in bunches.
I think you had the right idea–by volunteering your time at Yearly Kos, you were giving of yourself to others and seeing that although you have a lot of worries and problems right now, they are not everything in your life and they will not last forever.
I think what you got from your involvement with Yearly Kos is what draws all good people to political involvement: human connection. You were part of something bigger than yourself and working alongside like-minded people.
I do understand why you went to Yearly Kos, and worked so hard there, Shermanesque. (It was great to see your picture here, too, as I knew your name from what you’d written, and it helps me to put a face with a name.) Your work helped make the experience better for a lot of people, it’s clear.
My sympathies over your brother-in-law and your beloved pet. I know how hard it is to lose a long-time pet – Booman here lost his recently, and many of us have had that experience, too. My brother is facing the same thing as your brother-in-law, which brings another level of dread and sorrow. That’s a lot. So I know that YKOS was a great place to be for an uplift, particularly under those conditions. I hope you’ll be able to keep some of that good feeling in mind over the next several months.
But I am troubled that you expect flames and disapproval here. We are pretty tolerant of a wide range of opinions and may disagree with each other, e.g. I don’t agree with Simon M.’s interp of your writing, but I wouldn’t downrate him for that. We are a different kind of blog than DK, and that’s as this place has developed. Some here post freely on DK, others don’t for a variety of reasons, others simply don’t care. However, I think the vast majority of us who did not go to YKOS, don’t hold it against those here who did. In any case, it sounds like you may have been a little worried about posting here. I’m glad you did it anyway, and I hope you learn more about this place from our reaction.
Hi Shermanesqe,
I’m really at a loss as to what I could say that might take a little of the hurt off of you. The best I can do is to remind you how strong you are and that as bleak and unfair as life gets, it might take a few chunks out of you here and there, but it can’t knock you down. Your former brother in law’s illness shows how unfair and devastating it can be sometmes. It’s nice to know though, that his wife is by his side now, and that his children will see the two of them together when it really counted.
I’m also sorry that you’re unsure about the reaction you’ll get here, but I understand it. This is still the Frog Pond, no matter what, and your green skin is always recognized here :o) So, you know what? Good for you!! Good for you for stepping up and taking on a tough job, and doing it well. And I’m jealous that you got to meet Rub and I didn’t ;o) Good for your town that they just gained an activist! Good all around. Besides, what anyone else thinks is irrelevent. But you already know all of these things :o)
Peace
Thanks again Super… I think I had a particularly fragile night, but my head was awash in thoughts at freaking 3am, damn head. But yeah, I’m so glad I got to meet Rub, and just so glad I got to help out all around. Thank you. 🙂
and she looked an awful lot like jasper.
: (
rub is a pretty fine comedian. Very funny guy.
…and I even started a diary on it.
Here’s the deal:
I was hanging out with a couple of other folks in the anteroom to the bathroom at the fine fine BooTrib/EuroTrib/MLW party one night in Vegas. It was the perfect place to be (the party and the little anteroom).
Anyway, so over walks BooMan. He’s got the t-shirt and the nametag that say it all. Plus, I recognize his face from the photos here back at the March in DC.
We shake hands. He thanks me for cross-posting my diaries here. I thank him for letting me post (and also thank SusanHu for inviting me to do so. I miss SusanHu).
But then I do something stupid. I say, “Jeez. I never would have guessed that BooMan had a little pot-belly and smoked cigarettes.”
WTF? What was I thinking? That was a dumb, and unkind, thing to say. I grew up in a household where teasing and nicknames were the rule of the day, and only recently have I come to see how manipulative and hurtful teasing and nicknames are. (Mr. Bush uses nicknames all the time – need I say more?).
I also have a bit of a beer belly, and smoke cigars. So, again – WTF?!?
Anyway, what I should have done, what would have been more approriate and thoughtful to do would have been this:
(turning to my three new companions sharing the anteroom) – “Hey, guys, this is BooMan! He runs a great blogging community called BooMan Tribune, and he’s one of the generous hosts of this fine fine party. He’s an activist and astute analyst of many things political and cultural. You really should check out his site. Some folks prefer it to Kos, other go to both. It’s definitely got a great feel – kind of like being the Concord, Massachusetts to Kos’ New York City. There’s warmth and humor and vigor and respectful community.
A toast to the BooMan for making it all possible!”
But, slow-witted shithead that I sometimes am, I didn’t do the right thing that time. My only excuse is that a lifetime of unlearning takes time and effort. I’m trying.
I’m really sorry for not paying you the proper respect, BooMan. I really am.
LOL!!
This is just what I needed to get me out of my foul mood Rub. Thanks :o) Truth is, when I met Booman in DC last year I….thought the same thing, but like you, I have a gut myself!! Who am I to point fingers and snicker? LOL. Hell, if he and I were pregnant, my due date would be way before his, judging by overhang :o)
I know you’re being sincere and all, but I think I would’ve incorporated your second introduction with the first.
Maybe like this:
I wasn’t worried about that, I was more worried to learn two day later that you one wash one hand after using the bathroom. I had to wonder which one I shook.
…in everything I do ;^)
Geez, Rub. I’m glad you more kind with the rest of us. 😉
Sherm, I’m so sorry about Jasper and now your ex-brother-in-law. I wish there was something I could say to make it easier.
I was really glad to meet you in Vegas, even if it was only briefly. And I was glad to be in Vegas, because there were so many good things going on. Jerome’s energy panel, the Plame panel, etc. I wish you had gotten to hear more of the speakers, but I’m glad dedicated people like you were there to make it a success. It was great to be in a place where bloggers from a variety of sites could meet in person, and discuss the issues of the day, even if they don’t agree on everything.
With regard to your concerns about being flamed/retorted/etc, one thing that has been bothering me lately is the perpetuation of BT as some “orange-hating” site “filled with hateful venomous people” by many members of DK, and even their front pagers. I obviously think it’s an unfair characterization, dating back to the pie wars and fueled by the fact that folks banned from DK can post here (and I don’t think they should be silenced everywhere for being banned at one site). We have our own disenchanted BT posters over there bad-mouthing as well, and no one ever links back to positive comments made about either site. I don’t know what else to say about it, because we should all be able to tolerate dissenting opinions without silencing them – otherwise, we might as well be dittoheads. And there are important things about progressive ideology and the Democratic party that need to be said, not to mention the fact that election fraud and voter supression do exist. A fine line to try to walk, and one that will have unhappy people on both sides.
Anyway, DK is not my favorite site for a variety of reasons (I am definitely to the left of their management and disagree with the idea that Dems can win if only they discard enough of the progressive principles I think are important), but it s a useful site, and I continue to read it. Without it I never would have found the other blogs I enjoy even more, and that have pushed me forward to actually do something about the things I care about. And then there’s the friendships I’ve made here.
And now my comment is as long as a diary and somewhat off-topic. Anyway, thanks for working so hard at Yearly Kos, and you and your family are in my thoughts today.
(((Sherm)))
Thank you CabinGirl. It was great to meet you too. In hindsight, I should have just expressed my feelings, and left any ‘disclaimers’ out of it, but I didn’t. And for that, I’m sorry. As I said, I knew this would be well received here. But I should have left those doubts out. I appreciate the community here, and I appreciate the community in Cheers and Jeers of the orange site, cuz that’s where I usually reside. To me, both sites have value, and I have friends in both places. And ultimately, I am very grateful for that.
I admire anyone who, in the face of personal challenges like yours, gets up and keeps moving , in spite of the sadness: allowing the feelings, but not letting them take you all the way down.
It saddens me a bit too that you thought you might get slammed here for having worked YK, yet I too understand it, given the war like atmosphere that has permeated many diaries lately that have to do with the DIFFERENCES…note that…DIFERENCES…between these two sites.
There is no need that I can see for anyone to feel forced to take sides, or for there to even have to BE “SIDES”. (and attacks, counter attack, and all the lovely mudslinging these create.) I don’t know why DIFFERENCES ..are so hard for so many to accept as simple “DIFFERENCES”…rather than always turn into “who is good and who is bad..” etc.
Two different websites here: two diffferent philosphies, and every one has the option of choosing to participate in one or both or neither. Every one of us has the choice of how much of our own life energy we wish to spend on any discord or anger about what goes on on either.
I know there is honest concern about the overall effects of how one or the other sites operate in terms of the bigger picture..and debating the issues involved has good purpose.
But in the end, it’s about making a personal decision about where I choose to put my pesonal time and energy so as it can do the most good. One thing I know for sure is that trying to change how other people behave…especially on their own turf, a massive waste of both.
YK was something you needed to do for you: to energise and motivate yourself, and I say GOOD FOR YOU, Sherm. And I really admire youi taking that to yur own front lines, right where you are standing.
Shermanesque, thanks for all your good work at ykos! As far as I am concerned, the whole thing worked very smoothly, at least partly do to your efforts. It was a pleasure meeting you and maybe next year I’ll get to spend some time with you. See you then, if not before.
And because I shot without asking questions first, so to speak:
Addendum: I’m sorry to hear about difficulties in your life right now. You’ve got a lot on your plate to deal with.
As to the goings on here, this will pass. Things run in cycles, this one just a bit more difficult than some. But it’s still BT, and we’ll come out ok.
Shermanesque, I’m so sorry about your difficulties.
It must have been hard for our frogs who went to YK, and who came “home” to the pond wanting to share their happiness, to find so many arguments going on so they could hardly say “Yearly. . .” without triggering dissension. I can understand why you’d feel hesitate to say out loud that you went, that you contributed to its success, that you had a fabulous time, you loved it, etc., but I’m glad you finally did tell us.
Let me put all my own stuff aside for a moment and just say, Good on you, girl. They were lucky as hell to have you there!
Ditto what Kansas said 🙂
Only spelled better, I hope!
I for one don’t begrudge you for going, I only wish you had more time to hang out with folks and take a load off.
And hell Sherm, if I worried about how people would react to what I write, I’d never post at all, and then where would we be – one less voice in the community (nobody get any ideas here, I’m trying to empathize with sherm…) 🙂
thanks for sharing
You got to meet RubDMC!!!! How super cool!! 🙂
I think meeting these people can be so empowering.
Glad you had a great time Sherm!
….I got to meet Shermanesqe ;^)
And lots of others, too. It was like a big love-in where you kept your clothes on.
The time to hang out and connect was definitely the most important and valuable time of the whole event. Whether it was in hallways, at meals, during workshops, in the casino, or in a room/suite, the hang out/connect time was best.
One of my favorite spots was in the lobby area in front of the registration desk, where my roomate (EconAtheist) and I started the first Temporary Riviera Hotel and Casino Hallway Chapter of Drinking Liberally.
That basically meant picking up a few six packs at the in-hotel store, putting them on the floor, and standing around in a circle. Amazingly, the circle slowly grew larger over time.
We dissolved the chapter, but we’ll be re-convening next year. You’re all invited and expected.
You’re too kind Rub… 🙂
…I’ll never forget hearing your voice, and stopping in the corridor, hugging, and the subsequent circle of people that grew around us. It was a great Moment.
(PS – I also cried, very much, during Pastor Dan’s service).
P.S. Well then Rub, you weren’t the only one. I started crying as I came through the door into PastorDan’s service. Quite a bit too. And when they were singing We Shall Overcome, I was very overcome. It was a very emotional service for me, but in a good way.
It’s been a loooong time since I’ve been to church, but the sincerity and genuine love felt in his service was very different from most churches I’ve been to in my life. It was very touching for me as well.
No crying here. I had fun extorting cash at the service …… For Katrina :)>
Love and hugs to you during your difficult times. Know that I am still at the other end of an email should you want to discuss further, or just get things off your chest and out of your mind.
So glad you went to YKos and that you seem to have enjoyed the work you did. I am sure it was very much appreciated by all. I had a conflicting event, or I would very probably have been there too. I surely don’t see why there has developed this “them or us” mentality over the two sites. I suppose people who have been hurt by various goings on at one place or another are having some difficulty working through it. This too will pass if we allow it to.
Thanks for sharing your middle of the night thoughts with us. Keep up the good work.
Hugs and loves
Shirl
“greater than me”. Those “greater than you” who have met you would argue the point. They would be the humbled ones. We each bring our own burden to the struggle. Yours seems to be greater than most. That you can do what you did at YK during this stressful time in your personal life says a lot about who you are. Hope our paths cross some day. I live near Ann Arbor, which in spite of what is happening in our state, remains a Liberal town. So,someday perhaps Booman or YK will have a meet here. Pardon my ramble, but I think you know what I’m trying to say. Take Care.
psst….
I heard there’s one coming up in Chicago :o) I think Maryb2004 and AndiF might know some more about it. So that’s just a puddle jumper’s flight across the lake right? :o)
Glad you got to go. I would have loved to have gone, but I did watch as much as I could on cspan and I swear it felt like a class reunion for me when people who’s blog name I recognized was mentioned- “I know her or him” I’d think delightedly. I particularly got a kick when I saw a few tin-foilers in the background but don’t know who they are there, but probably would know them here. LOL!
Did you move from Claremont?