We are not having enough babies.
You heard me – I’m talking to you. And you.
Things are looking bleak for Democrats unless we get busy getting busy and start producing more Democrats. Story
“The political right is having a lot more kids than the political left,” Syracuse University professor Arthur Brooks says. “The gap is actually 41 percent.”
Now, I’m no mathematician, but the way I understand it we Democrats and progressives are not keeping up with the right wingers in the fertility department, and we actively support policies such as abortion rights and marriage equality which naturally stifle the production of offspring.
I want you to know that I have done everything in my power to rectify this situation but you childless liberals out there are going to have to start pulling your weight. I’ve got four kids, every one of them a bleeding heart liberal, but I can only make up for, at most, 2 of you selfish people who have decided not to spawn.
C’mon you people – minivans are cool, I swear. And saggy boobs can be fixed for $8,000 – yes, I checked. And I can tell you from experience that This End Up furniture is indestructable and no matter how many times your child jumps or vomits on it, it will be around long after you’re dead. The leather furniture can wait. The sleek little car can too.
All you little ladies get your church dresses on with the shoulder pads and the big lace collars and submit to your husbands as the good Lord intended.
The future of progressive politics is at stake!
Well, you’ve obviously done your part for the cause, haven’t you? 🙂
As have you, though only marginally so. Get busy before it’s too late!
My dogs are liberal — does that count?
Only when dogs are given the vote.
like Bush vote, I don’t see why anyone should get pissy about my clearly more intelligent dogs doing the same.
Looks like you did your part, and my part as well, SN. 😉
I’m not terribly worried about the discrepancy – coming as I do from a very conserative christian family. It’s a world view that invites defection.
And I say that as both exclamation and instruction.
okay, but unless Jesus is going to pick a lesbian momma this time, I don’t think it’ll have the desired spawning result…
Still, I’ll get right on that. 😉
Being gay does not exempt you. There’s always the miracle of IVF or just good old fashioned artificial insemination.
when being gay was an exemption, and I miss those days sometimes when I’m talking to my mother. Sadly, moving toward equality means getting the grandchild lectures.
There will be no pregnancy on my part. Nope. None. Not happening.
My girlfriend, well, she sort of wants kids, but the old biological clock or whatever has started to calm down, and she’s not feeling so excited about pregnancy, either.
We might adopt someday.
On the plus side, maybe all those republican spawn will have nowhere to turn but to the left when they go through their inevitable mom-and-dad-are-always-wrong phase. Some certainly won’t go back.
I hope that’s true, but imagine all of our kids who turn into (gasp!) Republicans during their rebellious period!
it’s almost always true that kids are more liberal than their parents, even when they continue to identify as conservatives — that why leftist positions consistently become centrist positions over time.
(sorry, I didn’t mean to be serious; it just slipped out)
I thought that was true, but I’ve heard horror stories about young Republicans growing in numbers. Come to think of it, it may be because their parents are simply more productive, as the studies show.
Yes, but as I said while they identify as Republicans, they still hold more liberal views. For example, polls on gay marriage show that the majority of people under 30 support it.
Plus, no guarantees the kids will turn out the right way — my Republican folks produced two dyed-in-the-wool conservatives, and two downright progressives. (My brother used to say that he was so far to the left, he could look over and kick Reagan in the ass.)
Who am I to say that adoption is great if I don’t adopt myself.
Waaaaaaaaaay old lesbian grandmother type missing baby maker equipment. . . .However, should there be an opportunity, I will get right on the fucking solution. . .HEH! LOL
On the other hand, I have spent all my years converting my gay friends who incredibly thought they were conservatives, and my straight friends that they are way too smart to not be supportive of liberals. Does that count? Just converted a life long republican a couple of months ago. . .I just don’t know what took her so long. . .Oh and I do mean converted to voting liberal, nothing else. . .
But you child-bearing age dems and libruls, get right on this, eh?
I’m doing my part, Shirl, honestly. Even though Mr. Nature is neutered we’re still practicing alot on the off chance that it could work.
And I do think coverting friends and family members helps to make up for your failure to breed properly. 🙂
My mother, bless her heart, was a Republican the whole time I was growing up. Now I think she’s to the left of me. There’s hope for everyone.
You have done your part. Keep practicing though.
Anyone willing to experiment on “star in the East, Wisemen (or women), immaculate perception” etc. for lesbians. . .Call me! Wages are non existant, but benefits are lots of fun.
SN, you want to handle the appointment book on this (LOL! it shouldn’t take very much of your time).
I’m on the job, Shirl. I’ll be your agent and take, um, 10% of….oh, nevermind.
Sorry, cannot contribute to this cause. Plumbing has ceased to operate. Good lucj and have fun spawning kids!
Well, leezy, call a plumber. It may not get you pregnant but it might be fun anyway!
I wouldn’t mind a little plumbing at all. Teehee
Well I have done my share, I had 5 kids and at this counting 5 grandkids, which will produce yet many more kids, who hopefully will all be liberal.
I saw an interview on Cable news about this and it just made me think of in the 60’s and 70’s we were trying for zero population growth and were only supposed to have 1.75 kids. I staryed from this dictate, and have felt a little guilty for having more than my share, only to find out I should have tried for more.
Congratulations, diane. Job well done. You may take a well deserved break now, but make sure those grandchildren are liberal.
it is by immaculate conception, I can not help on this one. LOL
Liberal sperm banks, RF. Donate generously.
that this
isn’t good enough?
Well, for cuteness it’s off the charts. For volume it’s a good start. 🙂
You both look so happy!
baby lotion and watermelon – eau de toddler.
Here’s my contribution. (The one on the left.)
You know, this is what I don’t understand about the Right Wing: Not only are they spawning more, they want us to spawn more also. Do they understand what the effect of this strategy will be?
As for personal spawning, that was rendered impossible back during late kittenhood. My current contribution to growth of spawn is helping adults refrain from killing their offspring. Oh, and trying to convert them to becoming child advocates. (It is very hard to be a right-winger if you start caring about other people’s kids). I think that’s a pretty fair contribution toward spawning.
You’re doing great, kidspeak. 🙂
I work as a guardian ad litem and I was shocked the first time one of my coworkers “came out” as a Republican. I just assumed we were all liberals. I still think it’s vastly skewed leftward, though.
I’m with you on this strategy Kidspeak.
And here’s another alternative stragegy that I see at work in my circle. The Cheney administration is actually becoming abnoxious enough that many of those spawned and raised to be Repugs are changing their tunes faster than the kool-aid can be drunk. I’ll count some of those conversions as part of my quota. Does that work SN?
That works, NL. Conversion by any means is a good thing. 🙂