Can I just say that watching your friends make a car wreck of their lives isn’t any fun? I’ve had a craptacular couple of days here and I’m not enjoying it. I’m sorry if the blog has suffered for it, but sometimes real life intervenes.
About The Author
BooMan
Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
Fray – music by Staind
sorry things have been the shits for ya Booman. Take a break. Sometimes ya just have to take a step back and let other peoples jourrneys take their course. Sucks huh?
Hey, you’ve got to be there for friends when they need you. Even if they think they don’t. Hope things improve your friends.
Try this:
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Sorry to hear that you’re going through a hard time.
you’ve lots of friends here who have your back.
Be safe.
It’s okay as long as you haven’t forgotten about my needs.
Hey B2, I’ve about decided that you’re a Wing-Nut troll. You seem to have an amazing power over at Faux. Looks like you killed the OJ thing. 😉
I’ve got Rupert on the phone right now.
But jiminee it never passes quick enough, or maybe passes like a kidney stone!
((hug))
We’ve all had ’em, BooMan — but here we are.
Be kind to yourself; let those you love do as they may.
This has not been the best of years for you — except for 11/7. 🙂
Hope that 2007 holds more promise — just remember you don’t have to carry the world on your shoulders…
Somehow when friends or loved ones insist on riding those rails of destruction it can be more painful for the observer friend. And sometimes the hardest part of all is recognizing the moment when supporting them as a good friend does will just suck ya into the hole of enablement. Yes, you’ve been missed around here.
Sometimes doing for someone else is just what I need to take my mind off my own pile o’ crap for a while. Hopefully, this too shall pass and soon. Sorry for your trouble, Boo.
Here is how I react in these situations: I tell the person my assessment of their situation; I provide concrete solutions to the problem; I do this just before I depart; and I do not speak to them until they telephone me. Sometimes one has to exercise tough love, and friends thank you for it later.
Just remember your friends retain you for your honesty, not your ability to skirt problems.
Damn! Does it show that much? I’ll try to tighten up a little!
Hard to watch…yep. Even harder not to step in and do your best to fix things. But people ultimately sink or swim on their own, regardless of how many life rings they’re thrown. And it’s too easy to get pulled under by it all.
Best to you and your friends…
I have a long time friend who, from time to time, whenever it seems appropriate (or particularly inappropriate), likes to quote a line from an original Star Trek episode that I recently saw on reruns. In this episode, Spock goes into the Vulcan seven-yearly Pon Farr, where he must return to Vulcan and see his wife or die (geez, I thought the seven-year itch meant you were supposed to want to get away from your wife). Anyway, part of the ritual is that Spock has to fight someone to the death to win his wife’s affection, so, wouldn’t ya know it, Kirk is the one selected. During the fight, “Bones” (Dr. McCoy) interrupts the fight and tells T’Pau, the old and wise Vulcan woman who is in charge of the proceedings, that Kirk can’t stand the atmosphere on Vulcan, and that it is not a fair fight.
T’Pau says “The air is the air, what can be done” in a fatalistic manner (which is the point of this long post), but McCoy has a ‘cure’ for Kirk that he says will enhance Kirk’s ability to process the thin air and make the fight a fair one, but instead it’s really a delayed action ‘fake death’ potion, so that Spock can win the fight to the death, but Kirk doesn’t really have to die…
Anyways, “The air is the air, what can be done” is exactly what my friend would say to you right now, BooMan. And he wouldn’t mean that you should slip your friend a fake death injection, but he would mean it in that sort of fatalistic way that T’Pau said it. And he would be right, probably, and at the very least it would provide some comic relief. So… what can be done? Sometimes nothing or not much.
Just be there to help pick up the pieces and glue what’s left back together. That’s what friends are for.
I hope everything gets better for everybody.