I watched a little bit of the Senate debate over the stem cell research funding bill today (they’re voting on it now). And I’ve come to the conclusion that Senator Sam Brownback is one of the slimiest most dishonest hucksters to ever hold elective office. But I got to thinking…what if I woke up tomorrow and discovered that I was a U.S. Senator and I had to make chit-chat with these people? What would I want to talk about?
I could ask John McCain about his time in a North Vietnamese prison, or talk to Jim Bunning about that no-hitter he threw back in 1964, or whenever it was. I could chat up Lieberman about his time working with the civil rights movement. I might rap with Patrick Leahy about the Grateful Dead. There are ways to get along with people that you disagree with…especially people that you work with.
Which Senators would you like to talk to? What would you say?
of course, there is always the magic-bullet theory to discuss with Arlen.
I’d ask my Senator, Vile Kyl, how many times he utters the name Hamden as he swings from his vampiric perch during the daylight hours.
Kyl is one of the very worst.
My sympathies.
I think I’d ignore him, and wear lots of garlic.
BTW- Imus was dropped from MSNBC.
disconnected from the tubes for a few days so only followed the Imus brouhaha on the periphery. That being said, he’s always been an idiotic goon, so good riddance.
l’d like to talk to lieberman and ask him how it really feels to have w’s hand up his ass
and salazar too.
At this point I couldn’t trust myself to talk to any of them who voted “no” on the stem cell bill. As many might know, our son is paraplegic. While he’s explored stem cell treatments in Argentina, Portugal and China, he had no settlement from insurance. He works every day as an engineer and the possibility of moving for months to another country just isn’t there.
Right now, it looks like one senator killed his chances to walk again. Does it matter which one it was? I’d agree that sanctimonious Brownback is a real problem, but any of them will do.
This is what I just don’t get. Why would anyone vote against using effin cells that could save people’s lives? What kind of sadist do you have to be? It’s like prosecuting dying people for smoking a medicinal plant.
I’d like to ask my Senator Feinstein what caused to move from being a staunch supporter of liberal values into a shill for corporate interests. Obviously, I don’t have the necessary people skills to be a senator! ;>)
I’ve wondered about that before. That’s when I decided that I didn’t have the stomach to be a senator. I’ve had to work with people that I disagree with, or even don’t respect, but I don’t see myself pretending to like them.
You know what I’d want to do? Talk to Ted Kennedy about everything. The man has led an extraordinary life.
On the other side of the aisle, I wouldn’t mind chatting with Richard Lugar, who seems like one of the more decent people over there, and his work on arms reduction. Hell, Orrin Hatch too strikes me as a fairly thoughtful guy, if wrong on too many of the issues that matter.
Hey Boo- why not ask Bernie who he talks to and what he has to say to any of them. I know he does but boy, wouldn’t it be nice to find out that he doesn’t?
Me- I wouldn’t spit on them. Don’t anyone give me a drop of bullshit about tradition, ehtics, or anything else. These phony bastards appear willing to sell their mothers or their first born for a quickie in the closet.
It isn’t too hard to understand that blastocist just might save the world but No, we would be killing a life if we destroy it. At the same time, these same pieces of shit, without a second thought sign away the lives of thousands of our best and brightest in Iraq and these same pieces of shit turned their backs on a US CITY!
So- fuck em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I were a Senator, I would sustain intimate relations with a select group in the chamber and maintain amicable but very professional relations with others. The remainder would be shunned, but I would speak with them when I needed legislation passed. I notice this is the modus operandi of Maria Cantwell, who I adore and respect.
Those with whom I would engage regularly are: Blanche Lincoln, who is always enjoying herself; Mark Pryor, who seems intense; Mary Landrieu, who is hilarious and bombastic; Claire McCaskill, who is bright but blunt; Amy Klobuchar, who is similar to Claire but less aggressive; Byron Dorgan, who I believe is the brightest member of the Senate; Maria Cantwell, because I know she has nothing positive to say about the majority of the men in the chamber; Patty Murray, who seems difficult but worth the effort; Bernie Sanders, who is also very bright but painfully honest; and Robert Byrd, who will teach me all the arcane Senate rules.
I would acknowledge the remainder of the Democratic caucus, but I would be very dismissive of Ben Nelson and Joe Lieberman. I would ridicule Barack Obama, and I would tell him he is a hypocrite, and Russ Feingold and I would just stare at one another, wondering why the other person has a problem with staring. Barbara Mikulski and I would exchange gifts for no real reason, and Barbara Boxer would complain to me about other members, but that would be the extent of our conversations. Levin would avoid me, as he would think me too obnoxious, and Schumer would only speak with me about money.
Snowe and Collins would occassionally say hello, and Jon Kyl runs when I am near him, for I kicked him in the groin after he flirted with me in the elevator. Dole and Hutchison despise me, and Graham, DeMint, Vitter, Corker, Sununu, Chambliss, Isakson, Coburn, Cornyn, Brownback, Roberts, Gregg, Bunning, McConnell, Bond, Sessions, Martinez and Coleman refuse to interact with me, as they think I am too intense. It may also be a result of my concerted attempts to invalidate everything they say on the Senate floor. And even though the Republican caucus despises me, they have to ingratiate themselves to me, for I have a seat on Appropriations.
And I would sit on Sheldon Whitehouse’s lap in the coat room. That would be the most important part of my day. And my skirts would always be very short, much to the chagrin of everyone on Capitol Hill, especially Elizabeth Dole, who would hate that I beat her to Madison Avenue at the opening of every season. Dole is also jealous of my connections to designers in Parish. And I also have this tendency to stand next to the Republican who introduced a bill or an amendment before casting my NO vote in the well, whereupon I spin on my heels and walk toward my desk with my nose high in the air.
I’m an incredible Dorgan fan…too bad his state has only one electoral vote. He stands no chance of being nominated as a vote-getting VEEP but he would be great.
To get votes!
The funny parts:
–Jews feel it is a moral imperative to use stem cells.
–Catholics until the 1960s defined “pregnancy” as starting with implantation, allowing IUDs (and of course, making stem cell research allowable.)
Many other faiths have the same position.
But this is a wedge issue. It’s why the Evangelicals refuse to broaden their agenda to include (Democratic) issues like anti-war, help for the aged, universal health care and global warming.
What would Jesus do? I think I know.
I would ask Arlen Specter if he had any principles whatsoever.
I’d ask Sheldon Whitehouse if he watches “The Family Guy”, and if so, does it make him laugh?
I’d ask John McCain if he realizes that he comes across as a craven bullshit artist with his Iraq pronouncements.
I’d invite everyone from connecticut except Joe Lieberman to a pizza party at Modern Apizza or Pepe’s.
I would ask my Senator, Sherrod Brown, why he voted for the Military Commissions Act and why he is not signing on to the Feingold/Reid bill.
So much for the small talk.