Do demons really have a sexual orientation and are they really more likely to be gay than straight?
I will confess that until last week, I had no idea demons even had sexual orientations. Or, for that matter, sex. Then I happened upon a video that is making the rounds online. It depicts members of your congregation conducting what can only be described as the “gay exorcism” of a 16-year-old boy.
He convulses on the floor as if in the grip of a seizure while adults circle above, apparently attempting to holler the gay out of him. They yell things like, “C’mon, you homosexual demon! We want a clean spirit!”
And . . . “Come out of his belly! It’s in the belly!”
If more are straight (and let’s face it there are a lot more straight people fooling around than gay folks), why do we only need to exorcise the gay demons? All things considered, I bet that good Christan leaders like Governor Sanford and Senators Vitter and Ensign would have appreciated an exorcism of their demons before they succumbed to their evil masters’ wishes and had sex with all those women not specifically bound to them by the vows of holy matrimony, don’t you agree? I mean even their allegiance to Saint Ronald of Reagan and the sanctity of their marriages weren’t enough to armor themselves against an infestation of the straight demons who plagued them with all those unholy sexual urges for women who hadn’t walked down the aisle with them.
And where do all those gay demons go when you do dig them out of those poor teenage souls? Demons being demons and all, isn’t the most likely thing for them to do is to wait until the exorcists turn their backs or leave to go save the next poor victim of the gay and then jump right back into the soul of the poor unfortunate boy or girl who just got exorcised? Seems likely to me. Especially with the unavailability of live swine around these days to hide out in.
I guess that’s why I’m no theologian. These questions just make my head hurt. Besides, I’d rather worry about all the demons that make people want to start wars for known good reason and torture people to death. Why don’t we have any good exorcists working on those little devils?
Update [2009-6-30 17:20:28 by Steven D]: The video!
The full video the Church of Manifest Glory posted is at this link.
Another link.
Second Update [2009-6-30 17:27:56 by Steven D]::
GET IN MY BELLY!!!!!!!!
dont hate me….i had to do it.
As I understand the science, demons are just bad angels and vice versa. So are most angels gay? They do sort of act like it when you come to think about it. Anyway, since angels are not known to procreate, any sexual behavior of any kind would be sin, so I guess it wouldn’t matter what they chose to do to whom, if they did.
So maybe homosexual demons invading the bellies of teenage boys are really just angels on R&R — sort of like Sanford in Argentina.
It’s not the demons you have to worry about. It’s those damn imps.
The whole exorcism thing is full of sexual overtones. When I was a student, I did a study of the the witchcraft trials of the late Middle Ages. They were from repressed sexuality city, dude. Google “incubus” and “succubus.”
I think this would be Exhibit A in the case for religious upbringings being virtually indistinguishable from child abuse.
There have been a few reliable accounts of exorcisms in the United States during the past few decades, namely Scott Peck’s book People of the Lie and Malachi Martin’s work Hostage to the Devil. From what these two scholars say, encountering a demon is a scary thing indeed. I doubt very much if these simple souls in Connecticut could really cut the mustard if they were up against a malevolent spirit. Cold spots appearing, drawers opening on their own, memory systems of the exorcists open to the spirit involved, projectile vomiting ala “The Exorcist.” Not the everyday sort of thing. I didn’t see any evidence of this paranormal activity in the video on display. So I question the value of their exorcism per se.