I spent the day putting the nursery together for the soon-to-be-arriving BooBoy. I’m exhausted. Now I need recipes for stuff I can make and throw in the freezer. Oh, and curtains… What else should a first-time father be expecting?
About The Author
BooMan
Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
Tears. Body fluids. Screaming.
And then there’s the baby.
the screaming might be from the habaneros salsa though
Do you know that you will be receiving a BooBoy? very exciting indeed!
yeah, there was unanimity that a penis was present. But I guess you never know for sure.
For everybody you meet to tell you that what you’re doing is wrong, and to tell you what it is you should be doing instead. Everybody will be adamant that their way is the only way of doing it, even though a lot of the advice you get will be the exact opposite of what the last person you encountered told you to do. Then eventually you realize there isn’t a right or wrong way to do a lot of this stuff, and that muddling through in a way that makes you all happy is good enough.
so true!
Whenever and wherever you see a grandmother caring for a little one, watch and learn.
When is the baby due? We’re expecting our first mid March.
January 3rd is the due date, but we have to be ready any time now.
How about live-streaming the birth?
:::withering stare in your direction:::
He thought about it for a minute, didn’t he.
LOL.
I stray too far away from good news.
Congratulations on the coming Boo Babe!
Our twins will be five on January 3!
You will enjoy being a daddy, Boo.
You think you’re exhausted after setting up the nursery? Wait until its inhabitant has been living there for a few weeks. You’ll look back on this level of exhaustion as a vacation.
oh, yes, and …….. Congratulations!
Catch up on your sleep. And kiss your wife!
Congrats!
Very cool, congratulations. Daddy (billjpa) told me just before my girl was born “love her beyond reason, the rest you will figure out on a day to day basis. Best advice I ever got. Enjoy, being a mom is the most fun I have ever had, I would guess being a dad is as well.
sleep when the baby sleeps.
meconium sticks to everything.
the foirst few weeks’ shit doesn’t really smell, but once he starts ingesting solid food, watch out.
oh and get ready to spend the first few days crying like an overemotional ninny when you hoild the baby.
Just make sure the youngster doesn’t become a conservative. Everything will be fine after that…
hopefully they will find saner ways to rebel.
Your son in 13 years, if you don’t watch out (kinda looks like my bro minus a few milkyway bars):
when is baby boo due???
My daughter and her husband just had their first Oct. 17. A little girl.
She is just gorgeous.
Congratulations! Due date is Jan. 3rd.
.
Give CG comfort, love and support. Birth is a most challenging moment in the life of your son. The first cry to clear his lungs are painful but such a relief to mom and dad (if you’re still on your feet). Your presence and support will be most gratifying. Best wishes to all, can’t wait to hear the moment CG holds the newborn in her arms. For the rest … enjoy the moments, time flies. Before you know it, you’ll be graddad. From experience, an ever better opportunity to see the infant develop into a child without the drawback of parenting.
"But I will not let myself be reduced to silence."Expect a lot less free time. And love like you’ve never known. And frustration as your son gets older. The soon-to-be-11 b2 boy exceeded his own prior levels of obnoxiousness tonight.
really? I have to say that parenting teenagers first is a good reality check.
Yeah, that would be helpful experience.
It’s like cheating and reading the last chapter of a book first.
If the book is “Moby Dick”.
just fill the freezer with frozen pizzas and shrimp
there are never enough shrimp
i thought you guys were getting a puppy….i didnt realize it was a real human baby.
before:
sleep. babyproof.
after:
sing a lot.
make up stories.
read out loud.
baby massage.
and remember, none of the moments you waste in frustration will be given back to you.
Nothing prepares you for being a parent, not pets, not babysitting, nothing. I felt shocked that the medical professionals were letting us take home this brand new human being without a manual or a guarantee; it seemed careless on their part.
Neither will you be prepared for how everything you thought was supremely important becomes irrelevant in comparison to what the baby needs. You will see the world through new eyes, and especially as your son gets older, you will enjoy simple things like playing with him more than you could ever imagine.
I have three sons, 21, 19, and 16. I wouldn’t trade one minute of one day with any of them, even when they were sick or especially rotten. They are really amazing. Get ready for the ride of your life.
Your comment reminded me of something I had forgotten.
Our daughter was born at home early one evening, as planned. After about two hours of post-birth activities, the midwife left, the three of us were left alone, and that’s when we had our “OMG, we’ve never done this before” moment. And we were exhausted. Upon any other major event in our life up to that point, we could have simply gone to bed and woken the next morning to deal with it.
That was our introduction to the reality that her little life was literally and figuratively in our hands every minute of the day.
Enjoy your children while they are young cuz before you know it, they will be off on their own. I loved playing games with my kids; they were so much fun. Congratulations.
Congratulations, BooMan. I’m very happy for you.
I have two girls, and from what I’ve seen, boys are very different. But, my suggestions anyway: show him love. Read to him often. Don’t pass up opportunities to hang out and play with him. Teach him how to behave, so that people like to be around him. Laugh and joke with him often. And show him even more love.
Sleep will be a big thing. And embrace your inner patience. And love, love, love that little one.
I found that after having my own that I developed a deep and abiding sympathy for parents of babies crying in public. Babies do that and you can’t stop them. Babies will throw up on your shoulder. Wear the puke proudly.
Loudon Wainwright III has a song, “Be Careful, There’s A Baby In The House”, which is an instruction guide to operating babies.
When you go to sleep (or should I say “If?”), you will have wonderful dreams of pure uninterrupted sleep! Seriously, tho, just go w/ the flow — don’t plan, don’t worry, just enjoy the moments. I agree w/ above comments: ignore advice, trust your instinct.
Wish you the very best!
Be the kind of man you want him to become.
Curtains are easy – learn to sew with a machine.
Lots of great comments already. I’ll add just two.
* Treat him with respect. Be a good parent, of course, and do the things that parents need to do, but always try to be respectful, even when your patience and fatigue are strained. In effect, model good interpersonal behavior and communication. You can’t start too early with that.
My father was in his 80s when our daughter was born, and he criticized us for putting our daughter “on a pedestal.” My father was very old school about raising kids. We felt we weren’t exalting her, but merely listening and responding to her in age-appropriate ways per developmental needs. When our daughter turned about five, my father recanted and admitted that she had turned out well–instead of being spoiled per his prediction, she was polite and respectful of other people and kids.
As my wife and I talked about my father’s changed attitudes, she put it well. When my father had said we put our daughter on a pedestal, we were actually just bringing her status up to the level of a regular person who had emotional feelings and needs.
There’s a group that espouses these kinds of ideas–Attachment Parenting, International. In my words, they are the anti-Dobson for parenting strategies.
* Start a routine of reading every night, and tap the public library as a resource for new materials.
For the reading routine part, there is ample evidence that just hearing stories helps a child’s language skill development. The bonding part is self-evident, but also includes our discussions of the stories themselves. As my daughter got older and the books became more sophisticated (she’s nine now), I could help guide her with some literary analysis skills too. (Gently.)
Per the library part….at first the child wants and needs repetition, which numbs the adult mind upon the nth iteration of “Goodnight Moon.” I can still recite many of those books by rote. But as the child’s attention begins to expand, explore the library for new materials. When we moved past the “touch and feel” books, I scoured library shelves starting with author names beginning with “A”, and each visit I picked up my search where I had last left off. (Tip: For easy good finds, look at the books to be re-shelved.)
Tapping the library as a resource allowed my adult mind to remain engaged with new materials, and exposed our daughter to a wealth of material that our home library (and budget) could never have provided.
My daughter just turned nine, and I’m still mining the library for books for our nightly bedtime reading routine. As an added benefit to me, I’m reading quality books I missed when I was a kid, like “Watership Down”, and new releases like Harry Potter. My daughter now is a voracious reader on her own, yet our nightly bedtime reading remains a cherished routine for both of us.
One more tip: I sometimes assess book candidates by going to Amazon.com first and scanning reviews and guides to assess reading level and story appropriateness. And, of course, reviewers and Amazon itself will suggest similar “If you like this” books.
Wonderful comment.
aren’t all male infants BOOBoys?
Sleep. Seriously. Oh, and go to a movie and a nice restaurant.
When we brought our son home for the first time, we walked in the door, sat on the couch, turned to each other and said: “Oh my God, they let us take him home and we know NOTHING about how to raise him!” I think this may be a universal feeling. But you know, you figure it out. You don’t always do things the best way at first, but babies are remarkably resilient things. As folks have remarked above, love him beyond reason and trust in yourself.
Another thing to keep in mind is that children, even infants, are programmed to push your buttons; it’s a part of testing limits and exploring the world, I guess. And sometimes he will press a button that just infuriates you. You may be sleep-deprived, frustrated, and angry, but just put him somewhere safe, walk away, and cool down. A wise parent once told me that anyone who tells you they have never wanted to hit their kid is lying through their teeth. The trick to parenting is realizing that and remembering who is the adult. And love. Lots and lots of love.
Satchmo says Ohhhh! a baby! Can we go visit??? In the meantime, he’s happy drooling in anticipation! Such a great time in your lives, we’re all very very happy for you.
I quickly came to understand that parenting is in a word — relentless. Great, but relentless.
I just never got people who willingly take on single-parenting. I find “teaming” to be absolutely critical for saneness and a break (even though the worse disagreements I’ve had with my wife were all about parenting).
Also find a book by Dr. Ferber on how to teach your baby to sleep. Yes it is a learned skill that will help you and baby Boo get rest before reaching the point of exhaustion. Priceless book.
As far as freezer food goes make up a big pan of lasagna and cut it into single servings before freezing. You’ll find yourself eating at all sorts of weird times and it’s great to just grab a serving and throw it in the microwave.
Think of other comfort foods. You’ll need it. Cook a turkey or ham, cut it up and put it in several freezer bags. That way you can just grab a few pieces of meat for a sandwich or omelet or such.
Keep lots of pasta in the house and jars of sauce.
Can’t wait to meet the little bugger. 🙂
Good advice. I think I will make a few lasagnas soon.
This isn’t Chrys’ recipe but it is pretty close. This may be my favorite Greek food. Luv it. Just makes you happy. Freezes well.
Ingredients
* 1/4 pound butter, plus 1/4 pound butter, melted and cooled
* 1 1/2 pounds ground chuck
* 1 onion, chopped fine
* Salt and pepper
* 1 (12-ounces) can tomatoes
* 1 (12-ounce) can tomato sauce
* 1 bay leaf
* 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
* 1 pound ziti rigate or penne
* 3 cups grated pecorino Romano
* 3/4 cup flour
* 3 1/2 cups whole milk
* 5 eggs
Directions
In a hot pan melt 4 ounces of butter, add ground chuck, chopped onion, salt, and pepper. Add tomatoes and tomato sauce, bay leaf, and cinnamon and cook over medium flame for about 35 minutes.
Cook macaroni in boiling water, strain and put back in pot to keep warm.
Place a 1/4 of the grated cheese in a 11 by 14-inch pan, and then a layer with 1/3 of the pasta. Continue until both ingredients are used up. Spread on the meat sauce.
Mix the final layer, the Pastitsio Crema by mixing 4 ounces of melted, cooled butter and 3/4 cup of flour. Heat 3 1/2 cups of milk and pour a little over flour and butter mixture then pour the rest of the mixture into the milk. Add 5 beaten eggs and stir thoroughly over medium flame until mixture thickens. Pour the crema on top of the meat sauce and bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 1 hour or until brown. Cool for 1 hour before cutting.
Anything with 1/2 lb of butter and 5 eggs can’t be all bad…:)
Youbetchya
You might want to line up some guest bloggers for the first couple months. Between the exhaustion and joy, the distraction and obsession, you’ll have a very hard time thinking clearly about politics. Altho, I tell ya, I would not mind reading daily reports about nothing but BooBoy… with pictures, please.
A note of advice, toss all cans so you don’t have BPA in the house (the liners are the problem), check D levels on everyone and supplement accordingly, replace plastics with Pyrex glass bowls (there’s other brands, but the pyrex will go freezer to refer to oven or micro without spitting up at you and there’s no plastic to attack your system.
When I set out on my journey I diligently cut up carrots, celery, peppers, apples etc and put them into their glass containers. Made life so much easier to put things together in a hurry rather than reach for a cookie…
get some sleep.
I saw this in today’s paper and thought of you.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hKerxFG_bC9rjNIi_Qt6gwoc8aegD9CGISQO0
The Mozart Effect has many detractors, but this looks interesting
Booman Its going to be the best day of your life too. You are going to trip. Here is to CG and the baby’s health!
Infants are very straight forward. If your significant other is breast feeding, there really isn’t a great deal for the father to do other than to try and be helpful. Diaper changes are easy at that age, and the kid can’t do a whole hell of a lot. They stay where you put them.
Finding activities to do while soothing the bugger can be a challenge. I like to hold my infant with his head nestled in my left elbow. This can make typing a challenge, but not impossible. With my last child, I found playing Madden on the PS2 was an activity that calmed both of us. With him balanced on my left arm and lap, the movement created by me manipulating the controller was just enough to keep the little guy happy.
S2 said it above. Make up stories, make up a lot of them and use the different voices. When they were small my girls favorite was the 4 little pigs – Bingo, Bango, Bongo and Irvin (Thanks you Gilligan’s Island for the names).
Also thoroughly enjoy the time when they can’t speak in complete sentences. Once they get old enough to start rationalizing with you, well you lost it.
But just enjoy every single day with them, because they do grow up so fast.
The greatest emotional jolt in my entire life hit me when I held my first child for the first time. Thirty-nine years and I haven’t come down yet. Congratulations and welcome to your new and intimately shared life!