I found Liza Long’s plea troubling less for the seriousness of her difficulties than for her willingness to preemptively classify her son as a potential mass murderer. Maybe he is, but most likely he isn’t. And he probably won’t appreciate it when he learns what his mother thinks of him.
Regardless, I don’t understand the unwillingness of some to understand that a mentally troubled and potentially violent individual is more dangerous with an assault rifle in his or her hand than they are without one.
Ms. Long describes having to disarm her son of a knife recently, but she would have a much harder time disarming him of a gun that fires dozen of bullets in a few seconds.
She needs help getting her son help. I understand that. And I understand that, if she doesn’t get help, society at large may be threatened. But she reacted to her son’s recent violent outburst by collecting all the sharp objects in the house so that he couldn’t get ahold of any of them. That makes sense.
The comments on that article are thoroughly depressing. There seems to be a sizable contingent of people who think this woman could solve her son’s problems by hitting him more.
Seriously.
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Guns don’t kill, who are these people who go on a killing spree? Why are they often young white males, intelligent, loners with few friends,
empathy deficient and poor ability to communicate at social level. Intelligence, autism and violence.
Psychiatric diagnosis is extremely difficult and no two persons are the same or require a similar treatment. I found this article in Salon.com
an horrific story about a mother and her autistic son turning violent. Not for the faint hearted.
Columbine – Aurora – Virginia Tech – Newtown
Cross-posted from my diary – Mourning and a Day of Remembrance
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“That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.
We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood-altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.”
In brief analysis, this parent needs counseling. A disaster in the making.
I can probably find a better study, this is an indication how to manage a gifted child. These kids usually a slow in their emotional development. In the Netherlands most schools have special sessions or classes with highly gifted children.
In this country help for gifted kids is very inconsistent. Even in states with funding sometimes it just boils down to what teacher gets the child. A few might have training and experience with gifted children, but many do not.
Gifted children are as individual as children in the more central portions of the bell curve. Some may test high in all subtests of a Wechsler intelligence test for example. On the other hand, some might score in the 99th percentile on 11 of the subtests but might test in the 20th percentile for others.
Gifted children with these weaker areas or with learning disabilities are sometimes called twice exceptional.
I like the term asynchronously developed better than gifted because so many “gifted” kids have struggles been extraordinarily ahead and reconciling that with needing special help in some basic area.
One of the best resources for understanding this is the Davidson Institute. The links under the “twice exceptional” area on this page would fit some of the concerns of Liza Long and other parents needing to learn about asynchronous development.
http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/browse_by_topic_articles.aspx
I don’t think gifted kids are usually slow in emotional development. Some however simply have the added burden of reconciling being 2 grade levels ahead in some areas and 2 behind in others.
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Tips for Parents: Cleared For Launch – Transition Planning for Twice-Exceptional Kids (2E kids)
Makes a lot of sense, I wasn’t far off the mark. Need for professional counseling, parents do need guidance and follow through in difficult times.
Here’s a good article that I highly recommend:
http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10492.aspx
Neuropsychologists tend to see a wider range of issues, and the profession is less perplexed by the idea the great ability and inability can sit side-by-side. It is routine, and very few neuropsychologists doubt the idea of twice exceptionality. We see physicians, artists, judges, and professors who have suffered small strokes or brain injuries from low impact automobile accidents. We see brilliance and deficits in combination as our profession. A gifted child with an attention deficit, dyslexia or an auditory processing problem is another variant. Not only do we find it plausible that a child can be twice exceptional, we find it logical. This is not a common perspective; despite thirty-plus years of documentation that gifted children can be learning disabled or otherwise neurologically compromised (Baum and Owen, 1988; Fox, Brody, and Tobin, 1983; Whitmore, 1980). One of the greatest difficulties in working with twice-exceptional children is helping school personnel move beyond the “One Label per Customer” model. Because of this mode of thinking, children tend to be defined by their gifts or their deficits, but not both. Once one label has been applied to a child, the quest for answers ends. The child identified as gifted receives little support even when learning disabilities are identified. The child identified as learning disabled is given remedial services, but rarely challenged or offered acceleration. In fact, teachers’ usually lower standards for children identified as learning disabled, even when they are intellectually advanced (Richey & Ysseldyke, 1983).
Wow. Thanks to both of you for this discussion. I was totally unaware of any of this info, but very thankful to have it now–I may be needing it soon.
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Genius of the past da Vinci, Galileo,multidiscipline, inquisitive, curiosity, science Nobel prize winners. Perhaps some of these men were … autistic in some sense.
From article in Scientific American by Dean Keith Simonton :
“Genius can share certain potentially negative traits with the mentally ill, but when these traits are
combined with specific positive attributes, the result is creativity rather than psychopathology.”
Children are raised in a disturbed world of violence, Hollywood films, video games, cut throat capitalism, demand is high to survive, small family size, loneliness, parents pursuing a career outside the home, how well have we as parents managed to cope, attentiion deficit to children, loss of empathy, individualistic, narcisstic, body needs to be perfect, burden of not meeting the standards set by society, how did this change through the decades or centuries, challenges are immense, how well do we care for our children. How do we treat the less bright, socially ackward, bullying, psychological hurt, withdrawel from society, obsession, video games, bomb bursts, violence, revenge , escape, suicide.
In the Netherlands, we don’t have a gun culture – see charts. How do kids cope with bullying at school or on social media? Solution to problem: they jump. How very sad!
“I may be needing it soon.”
If you have a gifted child or a twice exceptional child, get some evaluations early. One of the major missing pieces from Long’s article is the early years of her son. I wonder if his talents and struggles were just neglected.
Your own empathy and listening skills are your best tools. A Wechsler test administered by a good psychologist would tell you something about how your child would fit in the typical public school. If there are more severe difficulties, a neuropsychology exam can help give deeper insight into understanding how a person’s mind is working – strengths and weaknesses. If she/he turns out to be gifted or even 2E, a good school for gifted kids might help. Some financial aid might also be available.
Above all, there is help out there. Don’t give up looking. You are not alone.
A bit about my situation: I’ve got a gifted 9 year old with some asynchronous development issues but nothing so severe as ADHD or Aspbergers. She is in a good school for gifted and she has responded much better than the public one we sent her to for first grade. They simple understand how these minds work better than our local public schools (and our public schools are quite good). My daughter has friends at school with some more severe issues and they all seem to be doing well. (I think girls get the chance to talk about their feelings more than the boys, and as a consequence are doing better.)
Very helpful, thanks. I don’t know where my kid falls into the spectrum, and the use of “gifted” in this context is new to me. I was in a “gifted and talented” program in elementary school, but that seemed to be more of an activity-based thing for kids who weren’t particularly challenged by the standard curriculum. I didn’t get the feeling that any of us were “at risk” in any sense.
I also don’t know anything about the standard western testing methodologies, given that we’re in an Asian country, but we’ve done the battery of autism-spectrum evaluations, and we’ve had our son in a special preschool (kindergarten isn’t mandatory here) that emphasizes motor skills and coordination. I don’t know how it works, but he went from barely communicating at 3 years old to zooming ahead in a lot of measurable areas like emotional development, mental development, etc. I think now he’s actually somewhat ahead of his age in all categories, but I haven’t sat down with the teachers in a while–all this is conducted in Chinese, so I’m generally behind the curve on the latest developments.
Anyway, you and Oui have opened up a new avenue of research for me, so thanks for all the resources and discussion.
I’m very glad you found it helpful. That’s great to hear your son doing well with that extra help.
But just to be sure, “gifted” most commonly (and simplistically) in the US means someone who has tested on some standard intelligence test (like the Wechsler) to have an IQ of 125 or higher. In addition to her child’s undiagnosed issues, Long in her article said her son tested “off the charts”. That implies profoundly gifted or an IQ over 150.
The main point that the neuropsych article above makes though is that ALL our children need to be understood in the whole. They’re are often a mix of strengths and weaknesses and all that together needs to be understood to help them develop.
I spent 2 months in Singapore and got hooked on Mandarin. Amazing language – spoken and in printing. Wish I could speak more of it.
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My background is analytical in the sciences. The last 5 years with my grandson (PB), after an early divorce of my daughter, opened a new world for me of psychiatry and child psychology. I observed PB in kindergarten class and this amazed me. He is smart, excellent memory, need for challenge, analytical, high curiosity and indication of high sensitivity. PB had to use has natural instincts as an infant because of too many changes around him in his tiny world. In kindergarten he was bored, he didn’t want to listen the the same story twice. At age of 5 he needed physical therapy for fine motor skills during one year and some logopedics training for six months.
The father wanted him tested for adhd because of “behavioural problems” and my daughter observed an indication of high sensitivity. The parents filled out a extended form for senso-motoric test. The replies from the father indicated severe adhd child, my daughter’s answers to experience at home with PB were diametrical opposite. During the last summer vacation PB spend his weeks outdoors, camping, playground and swimming pool. No video games or television during 4-5 weeks. He started first grade much more at ease and is doing extremely well. Most indications for high-sensitivity are now diminished or absent.
In an early stage after the divorce, my daughter made use of a professional child therapist for parental counseling. Most important we learned when PB doesn’t listen or becomes angry: put your arms around him for a hug and hold him. Don’t punish by banning him to the stairs or his room. He sees this as rejection and he already has a low self-confidence level. Life has given him a challenge due to uncertainty. The father is authoritarian and has already separated the child from him. PB has his dad’s stubborness and is verbally well advanced.
Some links to information we used:
And a new report I just found Senso-motoric integration, a view on cognition [Dutch – pdf] by Prof. Medendorp Radboud University [EN]
Because we embrace guns in this culture, not just require them like we require heating and refrigeration, but make them exciting like cars and motorcycles, with horsepower representing the ultimate expression of greatness, mass shootings are here to stay.
They’re here to stay because those ready to turn this firepower onto innocents, for whatever reason, have equal access to this exciting river of instantaneous death.
We are far away from understanding the many ways our children can be born without the full complement of skills necessary for navigating the complexities of life in any context.
The current context, this 3rd millenium, provides great opportunity for some, and a minefield for others.
Laws that chip away at the edges of any insanity are worth fighting for.
Good starts lead to great finishes; big enterprises span many lifetimes.
Great cathedrals, and other engineering marvels of antiquity, took centuries to complete.
That Liza Long article is a little bizarre in what it doesn’t state. What are the Wechsler results? Is he really off the charts in every aspect of intelligence measurement? No neuropsych testing to discuss?
There also seems to be a classic situation with a child who is profoundly gifted in some areas but has some psychological or neurological disorder. Unfortunately most school pros and most health care pros only seem to want to focus on one issue at a time: they either have him in a program for his gifted abilities or have him in a restrictive institution for behavioral control.
This child needs the best neuropsych testing money can buy.
I know I would very seriously consider whether a child like that is a danger to himself and others.
And I too wouldn’t have sharp objects around.
And certainly no guns.
But if I did feel compelled to have gun(s) gun locks would be on them 24/7. That alone might have made a difference in Newtown.
It is question of responsibly balancing freedom.
This is a little creepy, too.
Liza Long’s piece left me perplexed. “Nature” alone didn’t seem to explain her son’s behavior. Her other posts suggest that there are significant problems within the family. Unfortunately, it appears that her son has become the “identified patient.” Such a situation screams for family therapy — beginning with a focus on the parents.
That explains a lot. Now I know why “Münchausen syndrome by proxy” popped into my mind while I was reading Long’s article.
Unfortunately, since the corporate media wants clicks and ad revenue, they are already pimping that blog article instead of vetting it first by a responsible mental health professional.
Here’s MSN:
http://t.now.msn.com/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-says-mom-of-mentally-ill-son
Left out of the conversation in that article is the data suggesting that the mentally ill are far less likely to commit acts of violence than those who are “normal” (however we might want to define that term). And those with mental illnesses are more likely to be the victims of violence than perpetrators. Since I don’t know this kid from Adam, I have no way of knowing if anything is truly “wrong” with this kid other than his mom’s apparent avowals that it is so. We do live in a society in an era in which it is fashionable to overdiagnose mental disorders in kids, and then drug them to the hilt. Given what I recall of my own antics as a kid (and I was a gifted child, as it would have been defined back in the 1970s) I am glad I was a kid then and not now – it would really suck to be a kid today.
hz found some additional posts by Long that seem to confirm your suspicions.
Something about her writing had me a bit skeeved out in her original column – I guess I am more so now.
Here’s a pretty good one:
You Are Not Adam Lanza’s Mother.
Check the rest out.
Thanks. Made many excellent points. Distressing that Lang’s piece has gotten so much attention and high praise. So much so that many of the fans left comments on this linked piece to trash it.
A lot of heat, and precious little light – alas. I still find Ms. Long’s original post to be a bit disturbing – although more by her than her kid. That aside, the fact that we are still an outlier among other nations when it comes to violent crime (and the factors influencing in particular our gun-related violence) is one that remains largely unaddressed, and as long as it remains unaddressed, we will be dealing with massacres in schools, churches, and other “soft targets” at an unsettlingly high rate for the foreseeable future.
I did notice that the Liza Long post and some of the controversy surrounding it made its way to snopes.com.
Any article that begins with the nonsense phrase “It’s easy to talk about gun control” gets a pass from me, despite every facebook friend I have posting it.
From the article: “No one wants to send a 13-year-old genius…”
As a parent of a special needs child, the first mistake she makes is referring to her child as a “genius”. NOBODY’S CHILD IS A GENIUS. That status in society is imparted on individuals by one’s accomplishments, not by the ability to impress one’s parents.
My own child has always been able to stunningly hold conversations with adults. Fortunately both of us have gotten him through his adolescence without it going to his head. I still remember the sheer terror when it finally occurred to us when he was a toddler what the trajectory of his life might be. Institutionalization? Dependency on his parents for life?
He is now a relatively well adjusted college student. Because we have been lucky, and because we have tried not to ignore his difficulties by insisting he is normal. He has strengths and weaknesses he needs to know how to deal with, because we won’t be there to deal with them all his life.
This woman might have been a whole lot better off if he had a little more realistic expectations than to be a genius.
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My early response – In brief analysis, this parent needs counseling.