That’s right. Fox News “host” Eric Bolling (via Raw Story) claims that our kids are being indoctrinated by DFH* math teachers when they teach kids algebra. No, I’m serious. Those liberal-pinko-commie teachers are indoctrinating our kids when they teach them algebra (also when they teach them the truth that cowboys weren’t the main enemy of Native Americans – that was the US Army’s job). Plus the teachers smell funky, too. Or something.

“But even worse is the way some textbooks are pushing the liberal agenda,” the Fox News host explained, pointing to an algebra worksheet that Scholastic says gives students “[i]nsight into the distributive property as it applies to multiplication.”

“Distribute the wealth!” Bolling exclaimed, reading the worksheet. “Distribute the wealth with the lovely rich girl with a big ole bag of money, handing some money out.” […]

“Everybody has anecdotal evidence of this,” co-host Greg Gutfeld agreed. “I think the only way leftism can survive is through indoctrination because its number one adversary is reality. So you got to get them young and it’s perfect for kids. Paul Krugman’s logic is child’s play: Share your stuff… A lot of this comes from the teachers. They get their news from The Huffington Post and their antiperspirant from a health food store. This is the way they live.”

Bolling was also pissed off because his son’s history book was liberally biased. How so? Because it included statements that Bush went to war because “he heard there were weapons of mass destruction and they were never found.” You know he’s right, that is biased. It assumes Bush didn’t know he was lying about the Weapons of Mass Destruction he kept warning all of us about in 2002 and 2003, though, to be fair, it is correct when it said no WMD’s were found after we invaded.

The Bush administration invaded Iraq in March 2003 on the grounds that its WMD programs posed a threat to American national security.

In his report, Duelfer concluded that Saddam’s Iraq had no stockpiles of the banned weapons, but he said he found signs of idle programs that Saddam could have revived once international attention waned.

“It appears that he did not vigorously pursue those programs after the inspectors left,” a U.S. official said on condition of anonymity, ahead of the report’s Wednesday afternoon release by the CIA.

And yes, that is a 2004 Fox News online news report that I linked to, though I wonder if Mr. Bolling is capable of appreciating the irony that his own network reported that there were no fricking WMD production in Iraq after 1991, and no stockpiles of WMD secretly maintained by the Hussein regime, as determined by the chief U.S. arms inspector, a Bush appointee.

You know what teachers really do, Eric & “friends?” Save their students’ lives. They teach them how to read and write and even how to do algebra. Among, you know, all that other hippy-dippy stuff you pulled out of your rectum and accused them of doing.

* For those who don’t know what a DFH is (Hi Mom) go to this link.