Paul Ryan is going to pass a budget through the House that would balance the budget within 10 years. That sounds good, but his last plan didn’t balance the budget until 2040, and people looked at that and said, basically, that they’d rather get a nasty case of the clap. Ryan is now going to come back at us with something we’ll consider worse than genital herpes. The funny thing is that he knows that people think he’s indistinguishable from a penis wart.

“This session, I’ll advance reforms to protect and strengthen Medicare and Medicaid,” Ryan said Saturday. “Dave Camp, chairman of the Ways and Means Committee, will advance a tax-reform effort. And we will propose a budget that will balance and pay down the debt.

“Unfortunately, the Democrats are unlikely to accept our proposals. They refuse to consider real reform. But we will lay the groundwork for future endeavors. So when reform is possible, we will be ready.

“The president will bait us. He’ll portray us as cruel and unyielding,” Ryan said. “Look, it’s the same trick he plays every time: Fight a straw man. Avoid honest debate. Win the argument by default.

“The way he tells it, it’s the president — and only the president — who’s trying to fix our bridges, to feed our children, to care for seniors, to clean our water,” Ryan added. “But we can’t get rattled. We won’t play the villain in his morality plays. We have to stay united. We have to show that — if given the chance — we can govern. We have better ideas.”

Paul Ryan doesn’t give a crap about protecting Medicare and Medicaid or balancing the budget. He doesn’t care about fixing bridges, feeding hungry children, making sure seniors have security, or the quality of our environment.

He wants to give you gonorrhea.