It was a warm and humid night in Jackson. After months of grueling campaign work for US Senate candidate McDaniel, Brewster, Chambers, and Lane were too pumped to call it a night. They needed a victory celebration.
Janis Lane, a southern belle so traditional that she opposes the Nineteenth Amendment that was only ratified in 1920, suggested they head over to Lady Luck.. Chambers didn’t think that would be Christian. Brewster was madly texting his new best bro Keefer for recommendations. After several minutes, he announced, “Guys, you’re going to love this idea. Put on your running shoes; we’re gonna boogaloo.”
[We know where this story ends at 3:20am but nothing but three conflicting stories as to how they found themselves locked in the Hinds County Courthouse in the wee hours of the morning.in the hours before then. Suggestions/ideas for filling in the details and completing this story? A rewrite the beginning would be totally welcome as well.]
Might be another and different end to this:
Hinds County Board of Supervisors Discuss Courthouse Incident. Some apparently aren’t satisfied with the story told to date.
Breaking news:
Investigators close courthouse lock-in case without arrests.
Golly gee — the three of them couldn’t remember the propped open side door? One or more said that an individual in a uniform let them in. Just out for a midnight stroll of the courthouse.
Question: “Hey, what’s up guys!”
Strollers: “Oh, man.”
Q: “What are you doin’?”
S: “What are we doing?”
Q: “What were you doing in the courthouse after hours with primary ballots?”
S: “Oh you know, just hanging out. Going…places.”
A: “Places, hmmm? Like jail?”
Cute. Would “Q” be the guy they called at 2:30am to come and get them out?
I suppose I could have just said Perry, but it was a more generic questioner.
We could make up a new character. While unreported, there could have been someone else in the courthouse that encountered the trio, questioned them, shrugged, and then left.
#2
As they made their way to the courthouse, Brewster explained the mission. Find evidence of the fake ballots for Cochran. “We reckon there should be six or seven thousand; so it should be easy to find them.”
Chambers, “How? Are they a different color or something?
Janis, “Oh, my naive boy. We always put a teeny-tiny dot in the lower right-hand corner of the fake ones.”
Chambers, “Why?”
“Well, how else would we know which ones are real and which ones we had to create?”
Chambers, “Because?”
“It’s just the way we do it.”
“Would the Cochran folks do it?”
Janis, “Oh sure. We all do it, honey.”
Brewster, “We’ll have to park here and walk the rest of the way. Might look suspicious to be the only car in the courthouse lot.”
“This is more exciting than the slots at Lady Luck.”
#3
“We’ll take the long way round to the side door.” Chambers and Lane stare incomprehensibly at Brewster. “Don’t ask.”
As good fortune or God would have it, a bit of flotsam had prevented that door from fully closing. They were in, and Janis led the way to the counting room.
Here their luck ran out. The door was locked. Chambers, “Well, guess that’s it folks.”
“You gonna let this piddly old lock defeat us? Hell, I can pick it with a hairpin. One of you boys got one?”
“What’s a hairpin?”
Rummaging through her pocketbook, Janis discovers that she didn’t leave home without her Watergate Memorial lock pick gear. “Whoo hoo, now we’re in business.”
Outside the courthouse, as Janis works on picking the lock, all is quiet. Even the crickets are sleeping. Driving through the deserted streets, patrol officer Duncan considers skipping his rounds and catching a few ZZZs. Or perhaps Mindy is up for some hubba-hubba. ZZZs or Mindy, that’s the question.
#4
With Mindy on his mind, Duncan knew the drill. To the courthouse payphone – Mindy’s rule that he must call first and the police force rule of no personal calls on official phones and no personal cell phones while on duty. He knew exactly how to make it look good. As if he was performing his official duties.
Chambers on look-out through the window at the end of the hallway, uttered an “Oh, shit” a bit loudly for Brewster’s comfort. “What?”
“A car. Could be a cop. Driving real slow. It’s a cop!” Before panic took complete hold of Chambers, he saw that the car continued past his window and disappeared. “Whew, that could have been close.”
Duncan parked behind the courthouse and meandered towards the payphone. Turning on his flashlight as he passed courthouse windows and doors. With nobody around, he proceeded to call Mindy. “You still up? Want company?”
“I could be. In an hour. Oh, and bring a pound of butter.”
With visions of buttery hubba-hubba, “You got it.” Continuing his ruse of performing his official duty, Duncan meandered around the other side of the courthouse to get back to his patrol car. And what should he happen to see but a door that was ajar. He pulled out his gun as he moved in to take a closer look. Silence. No movement. He grabbed the door handle and yanked it open. The flotsam was immediately visible when the light he shined on the doorjamb. He kicked it out of the way and closed the door. Checked to make sure it closed fully and was locked. Then he was off to Mindy’s.
Still working the lock, Janis said, “Will have it open any minute now.
“I think I heard a noise.”
#5
“Me too. Why don’t you go check it out?”
“Alone?”
“Well, you’re the look-out guy. So, go look.”
As Chambers reluctantly gave up his window perch and began retracing their B&E steps, Janis exclaimed, “Ah ha!”
Unfortunately, the metal snap she heard wasn’t the door lock yielding to her manipulations but the lock pick breaking in two. Revealing its inner plastic core. “What idiot buys a plastic lock pick?”
“I didn’t buy it. It was a gift for donating to the Clinton impeachment fund. A memento.” Turning over the shard in her hand, she added, “It didn’t look like plastic.”
One question, “Have you ever picked a lock before.”
“Not exactly. Usually, I just jiggle the doorknob until it opens.” Recovering her famous spunk, she glared at Brewster and barked, “If you’re so smart, what was your plan for breaking into the counting room?”
“Keefer didn’t mention that it could be locked.”
“So, who’s the idiot now?”
Lumbering back towards his amigos, Chambers was whispering loudly, “Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.”
“What now?”
“The door. The door. It’s closed. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.”
“Oh, shut up. We’ll just, you know, open the fucking door when we leave. It’s not alarmed; that’s why we used it.”
Putting her paraphernalia back in her pocketbook, Janis announced, “I think we’re about done here now.”
Brewster and Lane led the way back down to their entry door. Chambers lagged behind mumbling, “Not good. Not good.”
If only they had the key, their midnight stroll through the courthouse would have been over at 1:40 am. Foiled by a double-sided key lock. “Oh, shit.”
Spunky Janis piped up, “There are other doors here. An windows too. One is bound to open.”
So, they began their wee-hours of the night stroll in the courthouse.
#6
Their inspection of the main doors and the back door was fruitless. All double-sided key locked. Plus blinking lights that looked suspiciously like alarms. “What fucking idiots chose these locks. It’s a public building. It’s a fire hazard.” Brewster and Chambers looked to Janis for an answer.
Thinking real hard, she offered, “They aren’t locked during the day.”
“Still a fire hazard for anyone working late.”
“True, but, but … Oh, now I remember. We talked about that when the doors were upgraded a few years ago.”
Brewster and Chambers chimed in with “And?” when it appeared that Lane was done speaking.
“Hold your horses. I’m trying to remember what was said. There wasn’t enough money for everything. And, oh right, terrorists were our primary concern. That’s higher risk than this old building catching fire. No mooslum would get out of our courthouse. That’s what Charlie said. So, they went with the locks and new SUVs for Charlie’s deputies. It was the 9/11 money. Yup, that’s right.”
The search for a window they could break and crawl out of was no more promising than the doors. Only those at the ends of hallways were accessible. Those that weren’t too small had bars without interior release locks (another fire hazard). Except for one on the third floor. Brewster said they could jump without getting hurt. That plan failed when none of them volunteered to be the first to try it.
“Okay, what are our options?”
Chambers said, “You’re the leader. You tell us.”
“We wait. We sit and wait until morning. Then we hide until it’s safe to casually walk out.”
“Fine. I gotta take a leak.”
Slumping down on a hallway bench and shaking her head, Lane said that she could last till morning. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m an old lady.”
Then they heard Chambers yelling, “Oh, no, no, no” and rushed to see what new disaster had befallen them.