Not as Smart as He’s Supposed to Be

Gary Legum, over at Wonkette, made me chuckle a few times while covering Ted Cruz’s excellent adventure at the Defense of Christian’s Dinner on Wednesday night. It seems that Ted didn’t anticipate that Arab Christians feel roughly same way about Israel as Arab Muslims do.

Being of the Jewish persuasion, we do appreciate Ted’s defending our right to exist. But we’re not down with insufferable douche noodles trying to reduce a complex and difficult situation into a “You’re either with us or against us” meme. Our last president did that, and it worked out rather poorly for everyone.

We’re looking forward to the insane ferrets at Fox News trying to puzzle out how to feel about this video after they just spent months justifying unflinching support for Israeli policies by screaming that Obama was ignoring the problem of Christians being mass murdered in Syria and Iraq by bloodthirsty Muslims. Heads will be a-sploding, we’re sure.

And here’s a bonus clip from The Week in Cruz on Film. Check out this bit of hilarity on the Senate floor. Some background: Senate Democrats are pushing a constitutional amendment that would roll back the campaign finance excesses in Citizens United by declaring that Congress and the states can “regulate and set reasonable limits on the raising and spending of money by candidates and others to influence elections,” thus taking away the Roberts Court’s argument that money equals free speech.

Naturally, Republicans are trying to portray this as a root-and-branch repeal of the First Amendment. Which led to Edmonton Ted, who more and more looks to us like a macaroon with hair plugs, taking to the Senate floor to argue that the measure would allow the government to outlaw “Saturday Night Live” and toss Lorne Michaels in jail. We’re not sure what part of the senator’s base would actually have a problem with this, but reading the political leanings of a crowd doesn’t seem to have been Ted’s strong suit this week.

It may have been a particularly bad week for Ted Cruz but he, like zombies and mold, does not change.