I try not to agonize too much about parenting decisions like whether or not or where to send my son to summer camp. I understand what these so-called Slow Parenting moms and dads are saying, but they sound like they’re trying to justify saving their money. In my case, my child is used to a lot of stimulus because he goes to school for six hours a day during the week. If I try to entertain him for eight weeks while he basically does nothing, we’re both going to get angry with each other. If I had the time to spend all day doing arts and crafts and lesson books, going for long walks in the woods, riding bikes, going swimming, and all the other great things I can think of to do together, well, that would be great. But I don’t have that kind of time. And, even if I did, I am not a five-year old child and I can’t interact with him on that level. Being isolated from people his age for the entire summer would come with its own downsides.
Mainly, I don’t like all these parenting columns that say, basically, “I’m doing things completely differently, and I’m better than you.”
Walk a mile in my shoes and you’d get quiet real quick.
Summer camp can be an amazingly good thing. Check out your local Episcopal camps: the Whiskepaleans are not a bad bunch (didn’t I just see that’s your background?). Overnight camp that is not centered around tennis/horses/trips to Montreal/praise worship can be very empowering. The second year that I brought my son to Bishopswood (Maine Episcopal camp), he was 7 years old. I said, “Want to walk around with me a little bit?” He said, “No. Bye.” My heart broke a little, but he was fine.
We have three sons and always had a limited budget. My inlaws have two sons and less of a budget problem. They ran themselves ragged for years by taking their boys to every sports camp and event out there, giving up summer vacation completely.
We told our boys that they could each choose one camp or event for the summer. They all had different interests anyway, so we let them pick. The rest of the summer was theirs to use, with some inexpensive family picnics, get-togethers, and visits to the amusement park and zoo.
My sons seem to be well-rounded adults now and all are capable of budgeting time for work and time for relaxation. Kids need down time and time to just goof off. There will be the rest of their adult lives ahead to be busy and on a schedule.
way back when, whenever us kids would complain about being bored during the summer, all we would get was, “we live on the ocean and all you can do is whine?” “GO play in the traffic” or my favorite, “who are YOU?” I loved my summers at Cape Cod…
“But I don’t have that kind of time. And, even if I did, I am not a five-year old child and I can’t interact with him on that level. Being isolated from people his age for the entire summer would come with its own downsides.”
I hear you.
On the other hand, it seems that this stark chpice has been created by the evolution of American life. In the old days, like when I was a kid, children often played with brothers, sisters, and cousins who lived nearby, and parents were not afraid to let their children play outside with the many other kids that lived on the block. I remember when I was five years old, I used to play “war” and “cowboys and Indians” outside my apartment house with friends, we could play on the sidewalk, around the corners too, as long as we didn’t go into the street. On our street in Texas there aren’t even any sidewalks. We have a good sized backyard but so many bugs the kids have never got into the habit of playing there.
Nowadays, we have a park/playground within walking distance and yet we still don’t let the kids go by themselves, even though they are allowed to cross the small streets. They all learned to ride teo-wheelers recently, so the twins (10 yrs old) are allowed to go riding with their friends. They’re not supposed to cross the big street around here, but they sometimes do. Our daughter doesn’t go with them because although she’s very athletic she’s too young to keep up, and it’s no fun for her to go around with her brothers and their (relatively) roughhouse friends.
It would be nice if they could engage in all these organized after-school activities, etc., but we are not organized or energetic enough for that. The default is that they do apend a lot of time with us. They are starting to be able to go over to school friends’ houses, some of them live fairly close. Or the friends come here. But it’s much less spontaneous than what I remember from my childhood.
I live in a gated community and while it’s got its disadvantages, one advantage is that some parents are willing to let their children play outside so normal child behavior or unstructured interaction with other children is at least possible. Not all, though. One of my neighbors would never let her children play outside because of the white slavers waiting for them. I’m not kidding.
She needs her own gated community within the gated community.
I don’t know why parents think they must entertain their children every waking moment either by doing it themselves or hiring it done. It could be a significant learning experience for a 5 year old to come up with something to do on his own. Keep a sharp eye out for safety but you may learn something about your son that he and you never knew. This is normal child’s play coming from the child. When this happened to me I discovered clouds, the white fluffy ones floating by against a very blue sky. I did complain about having nothing to do but this still remains one of the best memories of my childhood.
I just played with the local kids in the neighborhood when I was a kid. No money for camp or anything like that.
I turned out relatively ok.
Send your kid somewhere the he wants to go, and you’re both good to go.
No kids in the neighborhood his age. Plus, he’s five.
If your child knows he’s loved and safe, none of these details really matter. Do what is right for you and him, and have a great summer.
I have no kids, so I have no comment, just best wishes.
This isn’t for your particular situation but I don’t understand why everyone is so scared to let their kids play in their neighborhood anymore. It’s much safer than when we were kids, yet we’re all more afraid.
I’m not sure if I would let my kids play the way I did but I don’t get how we got here.
Media conditioning (how we got here).
Cable tv crime shows, both fictional and true crime.
Local news leading with isolated crime reports.
Internet news sources doing the same.
Back in “our day” there were fewer channels, less exposure to crime after crime after crime. Instead of just reading “In Cold Blood” by Truman Capote one summer, now the average American is exposed to dozens of crimes just as horrific in the space of a week.
Goes hand in hand with racial conditioning in the media, largely along the same lines.
I believe children need to be outside, running around in the summer. I don’t think they need to be inside, watching tv. They need the socialization to be with other kids, even if it makes them uncomfortable (as it did me as a kid).
I paid for Peanut’s Summer Camp and Summer Swimming Lessons, because – gotta put the $$$ behind the beliefs.
My story about summer camp and how parenting has changed: I first went to camp in 1963, when I was 13. It was a camp run by the Camp Fire Girls and I was going with my best friend who had been there the year before. My dad told me many years later that when he waved good-by to me as the bus pulled out, he realized he had no idea where the camp was. He worried that maybe that was bad parenting.
I hate nature basically so I was very pleased to never go to camp. I did however do tons of park board programs in summer. Finally when I was 16 my parents said this summer go to camp or get a job.
I got a job.