This Greenland shit is epic enough for me to take a little break from my sabbatical to offer some snark. Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen was so “nasty” towards our president over his harebrained idea to buy Greenland that Trump stomped his feet on his own toys and cancelled a scheduled September 2, 2019 visit to the land of the Danes. Then the Danes were like, why didn’t you offer the Queen of England a ten-spot for Canada? And then they got all huffy about Trump standing them up, as if they really want his ripe ass stinking up their beautiful country.

Queen Margrethe II had extended the invitation, so it’s really her who is getting blown off here, irrespective of what Trump says about Frederiksen’s tone. The people of both Denmark and Greenland treated Trump’s idea as a joke because they couldn’t quite bring themselves to believe he is serious. But, of course, the only reason anyone knows about our president’s desire to buy Greenland is because some staffer got so exasperated having to listen to him drone on the topic for the umpteenth time that he leaked the story to a bigfoot reporter.

At that point, Trump has a choice. He could have said it was “fake news” and tweeted something about how he’s not going to do a damn thing about gun violence. But he decided to own the story and make his case for the purchase of Greenland.

That just invited widespread mockery and disbelief. It also inspired a bunch of GoFundMe campaigns–some to help Trump raise the required money and some to save Greenland from his clutches.

Like most of the rancid things that find life in the president’s brain, this idea couldn’t survive five minutes of contact with reality. But even if Denmark were inclined to sell one of their most valuable assets, it would be like buying the ice in a freezer that has broken. That’s something Trump would absolutely do, but it’s not something anyone else would respect.

Anyway, he canceled the trip because he’s a stupid, immature man.