“Something’s Got to Give”, the Beastie Boys
The question I hold tonight is: Shall we? Can we possibly reach and maintain peace?
I don’t know…..but sometimes it’s hard to be optimistic….
Cross posted at Daily Kos
What I do know is that peace cannot exist without two things: love and respect.
If we cannot respect those who are different than us, we cannot be at peace with them. Far too many of us find it too easy to fall into the trap of dehumanizing those who are different, an attempt to justify our lack of respect for them. We find it too easy to drag out those terms that denigrate others. Too easy to call someone a “fag”, a “nigger”, a “kike”, a “bitch”, whatever…
I know that I grew up falling into that trap far more often than I would like to admit. I would like to think that I have grown up, that I have learned something in my life to know how wrong this is, that the we as a people have learned how wrong this is, yet…I still hear the words of my father, when he said to me; just this past Tuesday; that his “neighborhood is being overrun by niggers”…
I was appalled. I wanted nothing more than to scream in his face, to ask him if he has learned nothing from life. Instead, I found myself rationalizing his behaivor by blaming his generation, by blaming the way he was brought up. But, I was brought up by him, so how do I know that this is wrong and he doesn’t?
Has he not learned to respect people, to treat everyone as a human being deserving of respect, regardless of what makes them who they are?
Apparently not…
Now, I look down at my baby girl, hoping that she will not learn this hatred from him, that she will learn to love her fellow beings, that someday, she can carry on the mission of peace between the races, and eventually peace between the nations…
It is obvious that those who currently run our country have not learned to respect others. They wage wars, illegal wars, wars based on greed and hatred, claiming to spread democracy throughout the world. Yet, how can we force our ideals on others and call it a mission of freedom? How can freedom come from the barrel of a scared kid’s M16; a kid who is being taught not to respect those whose country he’s “fighting for”?
I find myself boiling over with hatred for those in power, this administration. Does this make me less of a human being? Can I be someone who hopes for peace, yet feels hatred towards my fellow humans, even if they are evil to the core? Am I rationalizing my hatred the way a racist, a sexist, a homophobe rationalizes their hatreds? I would like to believe the answer is no, but how can I be sure….
So, I find that, while I believe we should respect eachother, at the same time, I find that this may not be possible in all cases.
But what about love?
Isn’t love powerful enough to move us forward, to bring about peace?
I sure as hell hope so, ’cause right now, it seems like all I got to give….
the language is harsh, I apologize to any who may be offended.
peace
the holy handgrenade
THH. . . What I know after all these years, and all the tears, and all the anger, and all the horrible things we humans have done and still do to each other is that THERE IS NOTHING BUT LOVE THAT MATTERS OR THAT WORKS!
Yeah, that corny old song has it right:
Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me. . .
Doing my best to keep the love going. . .I know you are too. . .don’t stop now.
The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards justice.
you will raise your daughters well – that will be a step.
Love shall overcome.
Enjoy these days with the precious newborn (and a new big sister), they are unlike any other. I miss them
(but not enough to actually go through it all again 🙂
Congratulations on your new baby. I’m not a parent but I can feel the love you have for her through your words.
Love will always prevail. We have to be the ones to keep it flowing and try in any way to spread its power. The flawed thinking for Bush is that he can achieve peace through aggression, we know that that is not possible.
My thoughts are with you as you embark on your journey as a parent. Paz.
I have two lovely nieces, 19 and 22, wonderful young women. My sister raised them very well. My siblings and I were lucky to have two bright, open-minded, loving, liberal parents. In spite of this we ended up with a fundy, wingnut, homophobe for a brother. Go figure.
It wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t try to turn everything political, including my older niece’s wedding last weekend.
I guess my point is that you do your best as a parent and your kids will have two choices. They will either want to be like you or they will want to be nothing like you.
For the sake of our future, I’m hoping they end up like you.
My grandparents are very liberal as well. But they grew up in the Iron Range of Minnesota, so they have a bit of the racist talk in them. Degos, wops, etc. But there was no malice involved. There were so many immigrants there when they were growing up i guess it was just natural national pride. Neither my mom, nor my uncles, nor my sister and I talk like that.
Sometimes it’s just the situation without any real racism.
Having a child seems to be an almost universal cause for reflection on what is important in life, and on our hopes for the future of the child and it’s world.
Congratulations to you, HH, on the birth of your daughter.
Welcome to the world, little girl!
HHG, sometimes I thik the best thing we can do is teach our children to be kind and respectful, to care about others, and to do it by example.
Congratulations to your whole family on your new baby; she’s a lucky girl!
The thing we have to realize is that we are all alike. Try to understand the other by recognizing the soul qualities that you share. All living beings want love and respect for themselves – not all of us have learned it. Everything’s got to give.
When I think about how to balance my disgust and anger at the current administration with a need to not join the “hate” crowd, I try to think of role models who have found that balance. My hero in this area is Nelson Mandela. He was relentless in fighting the hate without buying into it. I know he was a flawed man, but he points the way to hope for me. And of course Bishop Tutu is another shinning example from that same struggle.
Dear HHG,
There is something about the birth of a child that awakens hope and inspires terror. It’s as if you are re-born yourself, and you try to imagine learning the world from their tiny new eyes. It also makes you fiercely protective in a way that is difficult to explain. You know what you would do to protect that child, and you rage that you cannot bring your child into a better world.
With a father like you, your daughter has come into a better world. She’s in a better world than you came into; she doesn’t have your irrational prejudices to deal with like you did with your dad.
She’s a lucky girl. I send lots of hope and strength to your growing family, and I hope your wife is doing well. And your older daughter must be happy to have a little sister.
Can be her begining, or her ending, in your case I’m sure it’s a new begining.
Let her see the world through your eyes.
“My Father’s Eyes” (Eric Clapton)
Your good example is the best thing you can give.
It has a far greater impact than you can imagine.
If love is all you can give, that’s fine; you’ve given the thing that counts the most.
Congrats on the birth of your new child. Love her, hug and kiss her and”Teach Her Well”. For me the difference between love and respect is this: love has a will of its own. How many times have we all tried to explain that love we feel for another. For me, love just is.
Respect on the other hand cannot be demanded but must be earned. There is only one race and that is the Human Race. So I can love everyone and yet at the same time not respect that person. It is the human being you love and their “behavior” you detest. This was an amazing concept for me and has brought more peace to my soul. Taking the hate away from the human and putting it on the behavior.
Darrell–Thanks!! Here’s the words to one of my favorite songs:
I am Your Child
I am your child
Wherever you go,
You take me too
Whatever I know
I learned from you
Whatever I do
You taught me to do.
I am your child
and I am your chance
Whatever will come
will come from me
Tomorrow is won
by winning me
Whatever I am
you taught me to be
I am your hope
I am your chance
I am your child.
Whatever I am
you taught me to be
I am your hope
I am your chance
I am your child.
-Barry Manilow
I’m guilty of being overcome with rage at this Administration. Some days I just want to sit and cry… or scream.
Writing emails, letters or calling DC help… but when I see Conyers locked out of the SmutHouse… I just feel so much loss.
But I look at my two kids and they are in a way raising me to be better. Each day they help steer me back on path. They make me get up and continue.
We must not forget to live while we try to make this life better.
Yes, I know how you feel. It’s gotten so bad that lately, whenever I see a car with an American flag on it, I have this horrible impulse to just rear-end it.
Of course I know nothing of the occupant or what their views really are, but it has come to that.
I know it is petty and stupid, but I get so angry at these robot people who just drive around and act like everything is fine.
Nothing is fine. We are at a pivotal moment in history and these folks are sleepwalking through it!
What is that quote that goes something like “It’s easy to love humanity, it’s people I can’t stand.”
You’re doing an awesome job right now.
First, you’ve broken the patterns of dependency, and you continue to do so every day. You’re able to hold that daughter and not have her infant experience be one of beer breath. Hold onto that.
Second, you’re recognizing the patterns of hatred that were set in you by your upbringing, and you’re working hard to break those patterns in yourself and not set them in your daughters. I think all progressives of a certain age deal with the same issue with their parents; when I would come home after holding my tongue around my ill mother when she would rant about Mexicans or blacks or gays, I told the spouse how fortunate he was to have his parents who are the most loving, open people I know.
Regarding hatred of the Right: I fall into the same trap…but I try to remember that these are human beings just like me, and that I could easily have chosen the same path (indeed, with two Republican sisters, it’s surprising I didn’t; only my liberal brother rescued me from a cruel fate). When a criminal is executed, I mourn the lives lost: the life of the criminal that could have been so much more if not for the choices made, and for the victims whose lives were lost because of the choices. I, too, mourn the diminishment of lives that could have been great if it were not for greed, avarice and selfishness, and the lives that have been lost because of it.
You’ve broken the patterns, HHG…I’m sorry to say that most Republicans never will…
on your baby girl.
You’ve already started doing what you say needs to be done.
Give her a big hug and kiss from all of us here, OK?
Hey ya all, I have two great and wonderful children left to give me my happiness. I was surprised this past Saturday with a surprise birthday party. My daughter and son had this all planned for 2 months and my dear friend {navy} came to help with the surprise. My half brother came of which I have not see in three years. I can tell you right now without a shadow of a doubt, I have the greatest friends and most wonderful family ever. I know, I am bragging a bit here, but I really feel very lucky to have them in my life. I tell you, if you raise them with all the love and concern for them, it does rub off…:o)
I pray on a daily basis for the good Lord to grant me the time in my life that I can see the most horrible ppl on earth get what is coming to them..I want to see dubya and cheney and all the rest get what is coming due to them. I never thought in my lifetime I would ever wish for such a thing. I ask the Lord to give me peace in my heart over this. I do not like being like this. It is not like me. But we do have to get busy now and get these criminals in jail.