DAN QUAYLE
44TH VICE PRESIDENT
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Letter to the Editor,
I know that the future will be better tomorrow because I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix. It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system, and even though I never actually said that I wish I’d studied Latin in school so I could converse with Latinos, I still stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.
You see, I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.
But, here’s the thing. This idea that Vermont needs a Latin motto is just un-American. If people really think that, they should just go back to their Latin country. I mean, I am sick and tired of that crap; they have their own countries. Vermont is thousands of miles from a Latino border and this makes sense WHY? If you’re like me, you hate having to press ‘1’ for English now. And why not an Irish or Italian motto for Vermont, since they built the quarries?
I mean this Republican state senator who introduced this thing? How do you say idiotic senator in Spanish? I’d settle for ‘deport illegals’ in Spanish as a backup motto. No, this is America and our language has been English from the beginning. We don’t need to change now for a few. Vermont is America not Latin. Do any Latin places have American mottos? Why not come up with a Vermont motto that is from us?
I say “Hell no,” make English the official everything. Maybe the motto should just say “Go back to where you came from.” It’s not like Vermont moved. It’s not Mexico or Latin America. They need to learn our language just like we’d have to learn Latin if we visited theirs?
No, I think a Muslim motto would be more appropriate. Are you kidding me? The next thing you know, they’ll say we have to have an Arabic one.
Why is this senator trying to make Americans into aliens? He should leave the country and take Obama with him to Kenya.
Sincerely,
Dan Quayle
Should this be Mottoes?
Quale must be cribbing notes from Palin.
This sounds like Sarah’s particular form of gibberish!
Either that, or the Editor confused the former VP, with the VP wannabe.
Btw – thanks BooMan, I needed that laugh!!!
My first colonoscopy coming up – poor choice of words – on Wednesday.
Oy…
Mother of Gawd, did no one think to edit this piece? Speechless.
Oh, I edited it. But I used all real Facebook comments and Quayle quotes.
Awesome. Or is that, awesome?
Bill The Butcher would be pleased by all of this misplaced nativism:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Poole
Maybe a Klingon language motto. No culture should be excluded.
Thanks for the memories of Repub VP nincompoops, which show that Pinhead Palin was just another foreseeable milestone on the “conservative” space/time continuum…
But we hardly need to dredge up the malapropisms of Quayle these days in order to mock Repubs—they’re now a party of Quayles, and proud of it! As we now survey the ensuing national outbreak, Quayle was just Pinhead Zero….
Get that Mexican shit off my money! What the hell is an “Annuit Coeptis” anyway?
Not to mention the ever-suspicious “E Pluribus Unum”
If you object to this “mexican shit” on your money, please send it to me for cleansing.
That phrase sounds suspiciously like commie talk; the president frequently says it in his speeches.
It’s the Illuminati, man.
They can borrow Quebec’s French motto, Je me souviens, which as anyone who has driven there can tell you means ‘Get out of my way!’
any Vermonter is well aware of, since the Quebecois invade Vermont with regularity. Yes, I am a native Vermonter.
Yes, this does mean I am a communist.
I suggest “Hīc sententia tua.”
(Your motto here.)
“If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it ought to be good enough for the citizens of Vermont.”
I used to own the Dan Quayle Quiz Book, which I used to take on vacations and car trips. Many happy hours were passed laughing at the idiocy of the answers and trying to decide which of the 5 answers was actually Dan Quayle’s response to a particular question or situation.
Many, many times the answer you would eliminate as being so outrageous that even Dan Quayle wouldn’t have said that would turn out to be the very thing he had said.
I’m sure I still have the book somewhere. I always figured Quayle was chosen as VP to ensure that no one would think about assassinating the president.
Quayle: a man ahead of his time.
Also, the whole state is named after a couple of drops in a martini. Please change the name to Tanqueray, so that the rest of the drink may have a voice. And nickname it the Green Olive State.
P.S.: I am not a crank.
And Bush thought this guy was Presidential material. Of course, he thought the same about his oldest son.
May I suggest a Latin motto for New Jersey?
Fututa sum hic
Since this is in the first-person feminine, may I ask who is speaking, the female personification of New Jersey?
My language skills don’t include Latin, so I copied it. Supposedly, it is graffito found in Pompeii. What’s the first person masculine? Fututo? Or would the plural be more appropriate? Perhaps “Futute sumus hic”? That sounds more appropriate for Illinois, although I’d settle for a translation of “Come with the cash”.
First person masculine is fututus, but that doesn’t solve the problem, why should it be masculine any more than feminine? “Fututi sumus hic” (“we”) is what you’re driving at, but the trouble is, you’re still in the past perfect, meaning that it’s something that happened but it’s over and done with.
I think what we need is “HIC FUTUIMUR”, “We are fucked here.” Presently and ongoing.
That is the English phrase I was aiming for. I tried to change gender and plurality using Italian rules (a, o, e). I see Latin is different. Thanks for the enlightenment.
South Carolina’s motto is:
Dum spiro spero
or as accurately translated, “Fat chance!”
Speaking of Latin, our New York state motto, “Excelsior!”, (“Higher!” in the sense of “Ever higher!”), is grammatically odd because the ending implies a masculine or feminine adjective, whereas it would seem to have an adverbial sense and therefore require the neuter, viz., “Excelsius!”
The motto was taken from a poem by Longfellow by the same name, “Excelsior!”, and the problem had already pointed out to Longfellow, whose response was clever but not entirely convincing.
http://laudatortemporisacti.blogspot.com/2014/04/a-word-of-dubious-latinity.html
Are you sure ‘excelsior!’is not a reference to cut scores on the statewide assessments?
You mean kind of like this?
http://www.nashvillewraps.com/shreds/wood=excelsior/wood-excelsior/sku-cwe14.html